Honorary Mosquito Captain: And so we are all gathered here today for your graduation briefing, whereupon Commencement, you are released into the wild, figuratively speaking, to begin your short but ardous career of sucking human blood. Any questions at this point of time?
Mosquito A: I don't remember having taking any courses on sucking blood, where did this graduation ceremony come from??
Mosquito B: I don't remember seeing you either... why are you the Honorary Mosquito Captain?
Capt: Trivial and pointless questions. Really, we mosquitoes should start using our puny brains and not asking silly questions like these, for fear of appearing vacuous.
Any more stupid questions? No? Then I shall start my briefing proper. As you are about to embark on your holy mission to suck human blood, there are a few points to note... Yes? You got a question to ask?
Mosquito C: Ya, why is sucking human blood a holy thing to do? You mean its like we have to perform some rituals prior to sticking our mouths into their skins? That would be sooooo troublesome...
Capt: No, no... Not holy in the sense that you must perform obscene rituals (Mosquito C: I didnt say obscene...), but in the sense that it is a mission given to us by God to save human lives from extinction, and indeed, make them better for it.
Mosquito A,B, and C: Wow....
Capt: The idea is that humans have too much blood. Any experienced mosquito could tell you noobies that if you puncture the skin of any human, their blood will spurt out uncontrollably. That is a sign of high blood pressure, the blood moving from a place of high pressure to low pressure, seeking release from the confines of the taut, high-tensioned skin.
As we all know, high blood pressure is not good for humans, so we are on this mission to help them release some of the pressure in their bodies. You guys have heard of leeches, I presume?
Mosquitoes: Ya. The worm-like bastards right?
Capt: Well, those bastards are our allies: together we form the Universal Blood Service, bound in the mission to relieve humans of their high-pressured blood. The problem is that the leeches are quite rural in nature, and they refuse to leave the forest to service the city-dwellers. So it is up to us mobile units to spread all over the world in aid of the needys.
Mosquitoes: ooooohhh...
Mosquito B: Wait a minute Capt. If our mission is so holy and important as you made it out to be, why do we see humans trying to kill us mosquitoes whenever we try to suck their blood? I mean, I certainly havent been trying yet, but my mother and my cousins and my aunt and grandmother etc., all have died trying. They wouldnt be killing us if we are helping them, would they?
Capt: Of course not. The humans are eternally grateful to us Blood Servicers, and they long to show it. I must say your family has an unfortunate streak of bad luck to be constantly, accidentally, being killed by humans. We must understand that humans, being humans, have human reflexes, and it is natural that they slap their arms and legs whenever they feel the itch. It is most unfortunate when the Blood Servicers are in the way and got squashed unintentionally. But that is okay, since we got so many of us anyway.
Mosquito C: But I heard them cursing and swearing vehemently after we bit them...
Capt: Alright, no more inane questions and smart-aleck remarks.
Back to the pointers I promised you people: as we all know, human blood is sour and quite salty, not tasty at all, as they might have been inclined to think (those egoistic fools). To make our job easier and altogether more palatable, literally speaking, there are certain prime areas we should target, where the blood is fresher, sweeter, and pose less occupational hazard to us blood servicers. Places like the human eyelids, the ear lobes, the elbows and kneecaps, the knuckles on their fingers and toes, are the parallel of fish cheeks: the tastiest part of a fish which anyone should go for...
Mosquito C: Excuse me, what is this "fish cheeks" you are talking about? Have any mosquito actually eaten any of it? I thought we can only siphon liquid?
Capt: Right, forgive my slip. And I was saying, before I was kindly interrupted by a rude cadet, we should always go for places like the eyelids and earlobes, them possessing the freshest supply of blood with minimum amount of cholesterol and cancer causing agents; and the bony areas like elbows and knuckles where the risk of being accidentally slapped is reduced to a minimum.
Second point, we have received reports of sick mosquitoes who went around sucking blood, thus infecting their patients with the disease they carry. The good news is that apparently the disease most commonly carried by these sick mosquitoes, dengue, is not fatal at all, in fact, have hardly any effect on us mosquitoes, and hence presumably, the humans too. The bad news is that the paranoid humans have apparently filed a complaint to our Supreme Commanders, requesting the removal of these infected, but harmless, mosquitoes from the task force. Thus all of you, prior to graduation, would be required to go through a health check, which would be tedious and pointless imo, but over which you have no choice over.
The details of the health check will be briefed to you by that nurse over there, and I've heard it is relatively simple, just requiring you to poke your mouth into a volunteer human and see if he gets infected. Or something like that. Quite easy I should think.
Well, thats all for today. Dismiss.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Suicide
We dont need official figures to know that suicide rates have gone up significantly since the 19th century. In fact, it is probably true that with a high level of education, a country is likely to have a high rate of suicide. I didnt devise that hypothesis, but it might be explicable in terms of human psyche.
What I think, though, is not so much that education indirectly, or directly, induce more people to consider suicide as a viable option, but the crucial factor lies in another vaguely related, altogther more widespread medium: the media.
In a way that resembles advertising, the media constantly portrays people committing suicide - to reflect the society the producers see maybe, to create dramatic endings maybe, for many reasons, some forgivable. What this amounts to is to create a acute awareness of a seemingly viable option on how to "lead one's life" if in a rather warped sense, when things get worse.
Of course, I am not accusing the media of first instilling the idea of suicide in people: most people would probably get the idea of suicide after the first death they witness, and there are countless of it, of animals dying, of relatives passing away etc. The media may have influenced a few kids to contemplate suicide, but that is probably only a fraction of the sea of people who actually were considering suicide.
The fault of media, as I see it, is the fact that media only portray the before and after decision to suicide, neglecting the middle segment, thus giving its audience the false impression that suicide is an easy and painless course of action to take.
It is natural, on the part of the producers, to cut down on the scenes leading up to any decision making on suicide: deciding on suicide is afterall, a boring thing on the surface to any observer. Moreover, they couldnt really capture the falling of bodies from great heights accurately, and the great anxiety suiciders feel at the moment of jumping/slitting their wrists, the tremendous fear while falling, the near overwhelming fear while in mid air of slamming into the hard ground, and the great pain that does issue from doing so at the end.
For viewers, and hence potential suiciders, the decisions to suicide only amounts to a few scenes: decide on committing suicide, standing on th edge of a building followed by a jump, and a scene cut, whereby the person is shown sprawling on the ground 30 stories down (in reality, most suiciders dont die that prettily either).
We add into the mix, the novelty of bungee jumping, thus giving people the illusion that the fear one experienced while in mid air isnt really that great, for thrill seekers do that all the time, and with relatively low casualties. Then, subconsciously they might think, the actual thing to fear during the whole process is merely the instant of slamming into ground, which isnt that great, for it is afterall, an instant only. Suicide becomes a quick and clean process of solving one's problems in life.
But what do we know about dying, really? Do we really die that fast? With great pain that the brain cant comprehend and thus shuts down the entire functioning of the body in an instant? What if we really couldnt die that fast? Maybe at the end of a fall, our limbs flew apart, our mouths refuse to work properly, but for a second or a minute, our brains continue to experience the immense agony of -censored- ?
Less vividly, we know that Time is relative. In a simple manner, time passes slower when you are doing things you dont enjoy, but faster when you are doing things you like. How far can we carry this notion? I like to run with it, and think about time while dying. No one would really like dying that much. Perhaps when one is dying, time stretches out for you: what seemed like a split-second to an observer may be an eternity of pain for you.
That may sound like some works of fiction, where everyone simply stops in time at the point of dying, forever in a state of limbo. The concept, however, isnt that elusive to grasp, for we know that advancing into Black Holes creates almost the same effect. While in the case of dying, I postulated the dying would experience a lengthening of time, for the case of black holes, it is the observer who have that experience.
Titbit: For a spaceship which is advancing directly into a black hole, the occupants will feel as normal as any regular person moving forward into their death - crushing death at the end of this one. For any observer, however, who is observing from quite a safe distance away, the spaceship would never reach the blackhole: it will first slow down, then stop entirely on the event horizon. For more on this, you should read it up on your own and not trust any of my details.
My conclusion is that, dying may not seem to be the quick, painless event that the media portrays, the illusion that it is may have encouraged more people to choose suicide as a viable option than we ever suspected.
What I think, though, is not so much that education indirectly, or directly, induce more people to consider suicide as a viable option, but the crucial factor lies in another vaguely related, altogther more widespread medium: the media.
In a way that resembles advertising, the media constantly portrays people committing suicide - to reflect the society the producers see maybe, to create dramatic endings maybe, for many reasons, some forgivable. What this amounts to is to create a acute awareness of a seemingly viable option on how to "lead one's life" if in a rather warped sense, when things get worse.
Of course, I am not accusing the media of first instilling the idea of suicide in people: most people would probably get the idea of suicide after the first death they witness, and there are countless of it, of animals dying, of relatives passing away etc. The media may have influenced a few kids to contemplate suicide, but that is probably only a fraction of the sea of people who actually were considering suicide.
The fault of media, as I see it, is the fact that media only portray the before and after decision to suicide, neglecting the middle segment, thus giving its audience the false impression that suicide is an easy and painless course of action to take.
It is natural, on the part of the producers, to cut down on the scenes leading up to any decision making on suicide: deciding on suicide is afterall, a boring thing on the surface to any observer. Moreover, they couldnt really capture the falling of bodies from great heights accurately, and the great anxiety suiciders feel at the moment of jumping/slitting their wrists, the tremendous fear while falling, the near overwhelming fear while in mid air of slamming into the hard ground, and the great pain that does issue from doing so at the end.
For viewers, and hence potential suiciders, the decisions to suicide only amounts to a few scenes: decide on committing suicide, standing on th edge of a building followed by a jump, and a scene cut, whereby the person is shown sprawling on the ground 30 stories down (in reality, most suiciders dont die that prettily either).
We add into the mix, the novelty of bungee jumping, thus giving people the illusion that the fear one experienced while in mid air isnt really that great, for thrill seekers do that all the time, and with relatively low casualties. Then, subconsciously they might think, the actual thing to fear during the whole process is merely the instant of slamming into ground, which isnt that great, for it is afterall, an instant only. Suicide becomes a quick and clean process of solving one's problems in life.
But what do we know about dying, really? Do we really die that fast? With great pain that the brain cant comprehend and thus shuts down the entire functioning of the body in an instant? What if we really couldnt die that fast? Maybe at the end of a fall, our limbs flew apart, our mouths refuse to work properly, but for a second or a minute, our brains continue to experience the immense agony of -censored- ?
Less vividly, we know that Time is relative. In a simple manner, time passes slower when you are doing things you dont enjoy, but faster when you are doing things you like. How far can we carry this notion? I like to run with it, and think about time while dying. No one would really like dying that much. Perhaps when one is dying, time stretches out for you: what seemed like a split-second to an observer may be an eternity of pain for you.
That may sound like some works of fiction, where everyone simply stops in time at the point of dying, forever in a state of limbo. The concept, however, isnt that elusive to grasp, for we know that advancing into Black Holes creates almost the same effect. While in the case of dying, I postulated the dying would experience a lengthening of time, for the case of black holes, it is the observer who have that experience.
Titbit: For a spaceship which is advancing directly into a black hole, the occupants will feel as normal as any regular person moving forward into their death - crushing death at the end of this one. For any observer, however, who is observing from quite a safe distance away, the spaceship would never reach the blackhole: it will first slow down, then stop entirely on the event horizon. For more on this, you should read it up on your own and not trust any of my details.
My conclusion is that, dying may not seem to be the quick, painless event that the media portrays, the illusion that it is may have encouraged more people to choose suicide as a viable option than we ever suspected.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Radio songs
If you are, like me, one who listen to the radio every now and then, then this might happen, or have happened to you before. Particularly if its a hits station like 987fm, where new songs are introduced almost every week, where the chances that you might like a song immediately is quite high, then this almost certainly will happen to you.
Some songs you take to it immediately, like love at first sight, this is love at first hearing. Some songs, however, doesnt sound impressive at all initially, but after a few weeks, or a few months later when you hear it again, it doesnt seem all that bad after all. Maybe it brought back memories when you first heard it, or maybe things do get better after you are accustomed to them, but in any case, you got to like them eventually.
At the point of loving the song, most people would have the urge to own it. Either they buy it in cd form, or they download it, legally or otherwise, then immediately play it ad infinitum. And as most people could attest to, playing a song too many times, favorite or not, is the best way to get sick of it fast. Appreciation for the song will drop; what had seem like a revolutionary new way of expressing your emotions now appear more cliche than not; doubts began playing in your mind whether the drums/etc. may have been rather jarring than in perfect harmony with the beats.
On the other hand, if it happens that, for some reason, you didnt get the song (you might have forgotten to download it, or the cd shop ran out of the copies etc), gradually you might get to like that elusive song more and more; like a perfect heaven forever out of reach, giving you a taste of it every now and then when you heard it over the radio; tantalising, rather than satisfying your desire for listening to it at whim, ad infinitum.
In the end, you would have gotten the song by whatever means, then you realise that perhaps if you have gotten it immediately initially, the level of appreciation for it would never have reached this high, and you would never have stayed so loyal to it for so long a time. And perhaps, because of this interim, your love for it would have grown to the point that no matter how many times you listen to it now, you would not get sick of it, as like you would if you had gotten it immediately.
Human psyche works in weird ways. Or at least, mine does.
Some songs you take to it immediately, like love at first sight, this is love at first hearing. Some songs, however, doesnt sound impressive at all initially, but after a few weeks, or a few months later when you hear it again, it doesnt seem all that bad after all. Maybe it brought back memories when you first heard it, or maybe things do get better after you are accustomed to them, but in any case, you got to like them eventually.
At the point of loving the song, most people would have the urge to own it. Either they buy it in cd form, or they download it, legally or otherwise, then immediately play it ad infinitum. And as most people could attest to, playing a song too many times, favorite or not, is the best way to get sick of it fast. Appreciation for the song will drop; what had seem like a revolutionary new way of expressing your emotions now appear more cliche than not; doubts began playing in your mind whether the drums/etc. may have been rather jarring than in perfect harmony with the beats.
On the other hand, if it happens that, for some reason, you didnt get the song (you might have forgotten to download it, or the cd shop ran out of the copies etc), gradually you might get to like that elusive song more and more; like a perfect heaven forever out of reach, giving you a taste of it every now and then when you heard it over the radio; tantalising, rather than satisfying your desire for listening to it at whim, ad infinitum.
In the end, you would have gotten the song by whatever means, then you realise that perhaps if you have gotten it immediately initially, the level of appreciation for it would never have reached this high, and you would never have stayed so loyal to it for so long a time. And perhaps, because of this interim, your love for it would have grown to the point that no matter how many times you listen to it now, you would not get sick of it, as like you would if you had gotten it immediately.
Human psyche works in weird ways. Or at least, mine does.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
National Day
Nope, its not National Day yet as of now, but I did go to school today for some National Day Observance Ceremony.
Its really nothing much... went there to sing song take pledge with the old folks (aka NUS President, and alumnus). The whole thing lasted like 15mins... and i spent the night before rooting out my shirt and tie.. =_=" , not to mention 1/2hr dressing up and 1hr travelling.
I nearly forgot how to sing that national day anthem. its been like 5years since I last sang it? the pledge sounds funny to me too.. been too long. hahaa. had a short tea reception, then went home. There was only like 4youngsters at the whole thing, excludin the choir. sian.
Its really nothing much... went there to sing song take pledge with the old folks (aka NUS President, and alumnus). The whole thing lasted like 15mins... and i spent the night before rooting out my shirt and tie.. =_=" , not to mention 1/2hr dressing up and 1hr travelling.
I nearly forgot how to sing that national day anthem. its been like 5years since I last sang it? the pledge sounds funny to me too.. been too long. hahaa. had a short tea reception, then went home. There was only like 4youngsters at the whole thing, excludin the choir. sian.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
confidence
There are two types of people in this world (I always wanted to write that phrase, but never got around to doing it properly), one egoistic, the other insecure. They both lie on the ends of the same continuum, of which somewhere in the middle lies the elusive point of being confident.
The egoistic type, in a bid to appear confident, or simply because it is in his nature to boost, always purports to preach and teach "the best ways" or "the correct view" to others (yes, I am well-aware of the irony here). Its almost instinctual at most situations, the egoistic would be the one constantly talking, telling people how they should feel, how the situations should be analysed, and how he's "been there, done that" and thus his ways should be more trustworthy. Rarely does he pause to reflect if his ways are really the best choices one could have.
The Insecure, also trying to appear confident, constantly insists on his own ways of doing things. Frequently being mistaken for the Egoistic, the Insecure does not, unlike the Egoistic, thinks that his ways are the best ways to do things. He just wanted to be different, to be confident of his own methods of doing things, resulting in him insisting too much on his ways and deaf to other alternatives.
The Confident, is not really a balance between the Insecure and the Egoistic, but more of a happy-go-lucky person who doesnt insist on his own ways, nor is constantly preaching about what are the best ways or paying lip-service to finding them. The Confident is satisfied with doing things in the best way he knows, quietly and without thinking they are indeed the best ways possible, and always ready to review his ways and measure them carefully in light of new alternatives.
The egoistic type, in a bid to appear confident, or simply because it is in his nature to boost, always purports to preach and teach "the best ways" or "the correct view" to others (yes, I am well-aware of the irony here). Its almost instinctual at most situations, the egoistic would be the one constantly talking, telling people how they should feel, how the situations should be analysed, and how he's "been there, done that" and thus his ways should be more trustworthy. Rarely does he pause to reflect if his ways are really the best choices one could have.
The Insecure, also trying to appear confident, constantly insists on his own ways of doing things. Frequently being mistaken for the Egoistic, the Insecure does not, unlike the Egoistic, thinks that his ways are the best ways to do things. He just wanted to be different, to be confident of his own methods of doing things, resulting in him insisting too much on his ways and deaf to other alternatives.
The Confident, is not really a balance between the Insecure and the Egoistic, but more of a happy-go-lucky person who doesnt insist on his own ways, nor is constantly preaching about what are the best ways or paying lip-service to finding them. The Confident is satisfied with doing things in the best way he knows, quietly and without thinking they are indeed the best ways possible, and always ready to review his ways and measure them carefully in light of new alternatives.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Destiny
Only recently my mum broke some bad news to me. Or rather, some bad news for me, which may in all probability be good news for you, them, or the entire mankind.
Well, the story is that when I was still very young, my mum consulted a fortune teller about our futures (me and my sis). What the fortune teller said is something like this: I would have romance when I am age 24.
But the problem now is, as some of you would not notice, is that these fortune tellers go by the lunar calender, and we are in reality, all 1 year older than what our NRIC claim us to be. So I am already 25 years old by chinese reckoning. That means that my age for romance has past!
That wouldnt be so bad if it werent for a television show I watched when I was very young again (witness the corrupting influence of TV on young minds): the show's entire theme was explicitly that if you missed your yin yuan, then you are destined to lead the rest of your life alone!
Its like a window, a one shot chance at getting someone to accompany you for the rest of your life; once you missed that chance, you are going to be stuck on that train which goes chute-chute away without ever stopping again.
Woe be me!
On the other hand, not that I really believe all these stuff anyway. But they are quite fun to talk about.
Well, the story is that when I was still very young, my mum consulted a fortune teller about our futures (me and my sis). What the fortune teller said is something like this: I would have romance when I am age 24.
But the problem now is, as some of you would not notice, is that these fortune tellers go by the lunar calender, and we are in reality, all 1 year older than what our NRIC claim us to be. So I am already 25 years old by chinese reckoning. That means that my age for romance has past!
That wouldnt be so bad if it werent for a television show I watched when I was very young again (witness the corrupting influence of TV on young minds): the show's entire theme was explicitly that if you missed your yin yuan, then you are destined to lead the rest of your life alone!
Its like a window, a one shot chance at getting someone to accompany you for the rest of your life; once you missed that chance, you are going to be stuck on that train which goes chute-chute away without ever stopping again.
Woe be me!
On the other hand, not that I really believe all these stuff anyway. But they are quite fun to talk about.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
selfish
Because we are all humans, we are born with some innate capacity to take care of ourselves, strictly speaking, oneself, and this goes beyond the need to feed and clothe oneself. We are perhaps more selfish than we would ever want to admit to ourselves, but it is also this selfishness that allow us to survive at all.
The prerequisite of survival is selfishness: cooperation may be an excellent way of improving our lives, or even chances of long term survival, but without selfishness, we cant even talk about cooperation, not when cooperation is tolerated ultimately for the condition of personal survival. (if personal survival is not guaranteed most of the time, then no one would ever cooperate.)
Thus it is no surprise that language has evolved around this concept of selfishness, and came up with many defensive phrases. Phrases like "I told you so", "I knew that would happen", "You should have" etc. are actually defensive, with the intent of putting the spotlight on the other person, shifting the blame away from oneself.
While on the receiving end, such phrases sound especially offensive and annoying, they sound equally irritating to others who are merely observing the exchange, for subconsciously, they recognise the human's baser instinct to be defensive and shift blame away from oneself, and from a community point of view, any egoistic maneuvers are to be condemned.
Hence there developed an interesting relationship between self and society, a paradox if Kant were alive to say it: the self wants to, needs to in fact, be selfish, but the society frowns upon such acts; the society however, is not any abstract entity overlooking the whole mankind, but made up of countless other selves who themselves want to and need to be selfish.
In short: while we all need to be selfish, others dont like us to be, even though they need to be selfish as well.
The prerequisite of survival is selfishness: cooperation may be an excellent way of improving our lives, or even chances of long term survival, but without selfishness, we cant even talk about cooperation, not when cooperation is tolerated ultimately for the condition of personal survival. (if personal survival is not guaranteed most of the time, then no one would ever cooperate.)
Thus it is no surprise that language has evolved around this concept of selfishness, and came up with many defensive phrases. Phrases like "I told you so", "I knew that would happen", "You should have" etc. are actually defensive, with the intent of putting the spotlight on the other person, shifting the blame away from oneself.
While on the receiving end, such phrases sound especially offensive and annoying, they sound equally irritating to others who are merely observing the exchange, for subconsciously, they recognise the human's baser instinct to be defensive and shift blame away from oneself, and from a community point of view, any egoistic maneuvers are to be condemned.
Hence there developed an interesting relationship between self and society, a paradox if Kant were alive to say it: the self wants to, needs to in fact, be selfish, but the society frowns upon such acts; the society however, is not any abstract entity overlooking the whole mankind, but made up of countless other selves who themselves want to and need to be selfish.
In short: while we all need to be selfish, others dont like us to be, even though they need to be selfish as well.
Friday, July 14, 2006
tag
I just realised that I could tag some people to do the dumb thing I did in the previous post. And because I know it would annoy my friends to be tagged (some of them particularly), I hereby tag dominic, yx, yongcen, wei yee, peckleng. hehee.
Monday, July 10, 2006
dunno whats this is called.
Because I have been tagged by neville, and there isnt really anything interesting that I could do...
favourites
favourite colour: blue
favourite food: petai (google for it if you never heard of this)
favourite song: 重生
favourite movie: The Matrix Trilogy
favourite sport: Cycling? Not very sporty type.
favourite day of the week: Wednesday, cos the week is still young.
favourite season: Where? What??
favourite ice-cream: Chocolate or Vanilla.
currents
current mood: Dreamy
current taste: not very high
current clothes: singlet and shorts
current deskstop: Some photo of some mountain dominic sent me.
current time: 10.13pm
current surroundings: cool air and quietness.
current annoyances: That I cant think of any politically correct annoyances to pen down.
current thoughts: Of someone.
firsts
first best friend: Guanghock.
first crush: Crush, not loves or likes rite? A girl call Rachel.
first movie: How I know?
first lie: How I know?
first music: How I know? Oh wait I know. Its either the "10 little Indians", or the "Dang Bing Ge" (Be soldier song)
lasts
last cigarette: Never had one.
last alcoholic drink: At weixin's bday party. Drank a cup of mixed beer as forfeit.
last car ride: Last Friday, a colleague drove us to lunch.
last crush: Crush, not loves or likes rite? A girl call Rachel.
last movie: X men 3.
last phone call: Today, just now. Called jiayong.
last cd played: Thats a compilation (illegal) of mp3s which I play almost every night when I am sleeping. (yes, when, not prior to). Incidentally it does have a name to it... wait i go check. .. oh ya... "Nice songs". Not overly inventive huh.
have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: Go out with best friend? Guy? Not counted as date rite? Gal? But my best friends are always guys leh. So no I guess.
have you ever broken the law: uh probably. In Singapore, every person breaks the law inevitably (read: too many laws).
have you ever been arrested: nope
have you ever skinny-dipped: nope
have you ever been on tv: ya, when I was very young.
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: nope
5 things you are wearing: specs, singlet, shorts and underwear la. lol. thats 4, not 5.
4 things you did today: Walked about Cityhall area, played arcade, thought about someone, talked to some people.
3 things you can hear right now: the TV outside, the mp3 on my pc, the insects outside.
1 thing you do when you are bored: play online games.
favourites
favourite colour: blue
favourite food: petai (google for it if you never heard of this)
favourite song: 重生
favourite movie: The Matrix Trilogy
favourite sport: Cycling? Not very sporty type.
favourite day of the week: Wednesday, cos the week is still young.
favourite season: Where? What??
favourite ice-cream: Chocolate or Vanilla.
currents
current mood: Dreamy
current taste: not very high
current clothes: singlet and shorts
current deskstop: Some photo of some mountain dominic sent me.
current time: 10.13pm
current surroundings: cool air and quietness.
current annoyances: That I cant think of any politically correct annoyances to pen down.
current thoughts: Of someone.
firsts
first best friend: Guanghock.
first crush: Crush, not loves or likes rite? A girl call Rachel.
first movie: How I know?
first lie: How I know?
first music: How I know? Oh wait I know. Its either the "10 little Indians", or the "Dang Bing Ge" (Be soldier song)
lasts
last cigarette: Never had one.
last alcoholic drink: At weixin's bday party. Drank a cup of mixed beer as forfeit.
last car ride: Last Friday, a colleague drove us to lunch.
last crush: Crush, not loves or likes rite? A girl call Rachel.
last movie: X men 3.
last phone call: Today, just now. Called jiayong.
last cd played: Thats a compilation (illegal) of mp3s which I play almost every night when I am sleeping. (yes, when, not prior to). Incidentally it does have a name to it... wait i go check. .. oh ya... "Nice songs". Not overly inventive huh.
have you ever
have you ever dated your best friend: Go out with best friend? Guy? Not counted as date rite? Gal? But my best friends are always guys leh. So no I guess.
have you ever broken the law: uh probably. In Singapore, every person breaks the law inevitably (read: too many laws).
have you ever been arrested: nope
have you ever skinny-dipped: nope
have you ever been on tv: ya, when I was very young.
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: nope
5 things you are wearing: specs, singlet, shorts and underwear la. lol. thats 4, not 5.
4 things you did today: Walked about Cityhall area, played arcade, thought about someone, talked to some people.
3 things you can hear right now: the TV outside, the mp3 on my pc, the insects outside.
1 thing you do when you are bored: play online games.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Independence
Independence is not a disposition to refuse help.
It is a character trait that prefers doing things by oneself if it is within one's means. Refusing help when things are beyond one's means, or would take an improportionately immense work to do as compared to being helped, is not independence, but mistaking that for it.
It is a character trait that prefers doing things by oneself if it is within one's means. Refusing help when things are beyond one's means, or would take an improportionately immense work to do as compared to being helped, is not independence, but mistaking that for it.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Happiness
Because we are only humans, we could never experience never ending happiness: not because there isnt such a thing, but because human capacity is such that any pleasure or happiness goes into lull after numerous repetition - we get bored. We probably can get used to anything, and when we do, even the ultimate pleasure at one point of time for you can seem to pale.
That is why the smart person never eats his favorite food for every meal, everyday.
There is no such thing as an ever ascending slope of happiness. To move up, you must be down first; to continuously ascend, you must continuously descend. The slope of happiness is infinite only for those who know how to recycle the same incline. Those who hope for eternal ascension into happiness have the inevitable fate of falling off the slope at the far end, and being never able to pick themselves up.
There aint any sage who leads an ascetic existence and being happy at all times. If there is such a being, he definitely isnt human. The happiest person alive is the one who know when to pull himself down the slope, and ascend it again - descending fast, and prolonging the ascend.
There is no happiness without sadness, and no sadness without happiness. If you fall off the slope, and refuse to ascend for fear of falling again, then that past happiness will always serve as the earmark for your eternal depression: how unhappy you are is measured by the distance you are away from that highest point of happiness.
On the other hand, if you are continuedly ascending most of the time, then the much treaded point of depression will be the point against which your happiness is constantly being measured.
It is much easier to stay unhappy, than to continuedly ascend, but nonetheless, continued descent seem pretty much impossible too.
That is why the smart person never eats his favorite food for every meal, everyday.
There is no such thing as an ever ascending slope of happiness. To move up, you must be down first; to continuously ascend, you must continuously descend. The slope of happiness is infinite only for those who know how to recycle the same incline. Those who hope for eternal ascension into happiness have the inevitable fate of falling off the slope at the far end, and being never able to pick themselves up.
There aint any sage who leads an ascetic existence and being happy at all times. If there is such a being, he definitely isnt human. The happiest person alive is the one who know when to pull himself down the slope, and ascend it again - descending fast, and prolonging the ascend.
There is no happiness without sadness, and no sadness without happiness. If you fall off the slope, and refuse to ascend for fear of falling again, then that past happiness will always serve as the earmark for your eternal depression: how unhappy you are is measured by the distance you are away from that highest point of happiness.
On the other hand, if you are continuedly ascending most of the time, then the much treaded point of depression will be the point against which your happiness is constantly being measured.
It is much easier to stay unhappy, than to continuedly ascend, but nonetheless, continued descent seem pretty much impossible too.
Friday, July 07, 2006
My job
Almost the last few days I will be working at this company, so I'm going to do a review of what I have been up to there. This goes back to a few weeks ago when a classmate of mine called me to offer me this "office job". What do I do there? "Writing checks mostly." Well, that sounded pretty easy, so I took it up there and then.
Day one reporting at the workplace in jurong west, which is pretty darn near my house, just half an hour away. Stepped into the office, and was immediately ushered into a smaller office room.
The only office room in the whole office.
I was told that is to be my seat, and I just have to wait a little while for them to come tell me what to do. As I sat there alone, in the room all to myself, looking out at the busy staff running about outside my office, all having a tiny desk to themselves with not even a visible partition anywhere, it dawned onto me suddenly exactly what kind of job I was hired into.
The Managing Director of this local branch of the International human resource agency Ade*co.
There can be no mistake about this: I have the only room in the whole office, and I am to write checks for my employees. This is a fabulous job for an undergraduate, even if its a temporary job!
A few days passed, and I settled nicely into the job of TMD (Temporary Managing Director, not tamade) of Ade*co. I should explain my job scope in more details: since this is no ordinary organisation, being a human resource agency and all, the admin staff all handle human resource instead of paperwork, and naturally the MD will have to handle the paperwork instead of human resource as is the norm.
So everyday, this MD shreds the papers which need shredding,
photostat the papers which need photostating,
chop my approval on documents which need chopping,
hold numerous meetings with my staff about increasing productivity in the office,
(my staff)
and write checks for the thousand over employees working under me (I really do write the checks! I just do not sign them. My manager does that instead. My signature is ugly anyway. lol)
Because my office is situated nicely beside the door,
it seems that it is ideal for checking on staff who are late for work, or leaving too early before dismissal. And because it is a human resource agency, there are frequently strangers coming into the office for god knows what reason. And the minute they stepped into the office, to the right, they can see the open door to my very own office, and a suave and very capable-looking Managing Director looking at them straight in the eye, while busy shredding papers.
It gives them the shivers I know; I have that effect, not only on girls.
Day one reporting at the workplace in jurong west, which is pretty darn near my house, just half an hour away. Stepped into the office, and was immediately ushered into a smaller office room.
The only office room in the whole office.
I was told that is to be my seat, and I just have to wait a little while for them to come tell me what to do. As I sat there alone, in the room all to myself, looking out at the busy staff running about outside my office, all having a tiny desk to themselves with not even a visible partition anywhere, it dawned onto me suddenly exactly what kind of job I was hired into.
The Managing Director of this local branch of the International human resource agency Ade*co.
There can be no mistake about this: I have the only room in the whole office, and I am to write checks for my employees. This is a fabulous job for an undergraduate, even if its a temporary job!
A few days passed, and I settled nicely into the job of TMD (Temporary Managing Director, not tamade) of Ade*co. I should explain my job scope in more details: since this is no ordinary organisation, being a human resource agency and all, the admin staff all handle human resource instead of paperwork, and naturally the MD will have to handle the paperwork instead of human resource as is the norm.
So everyday, this MD shreds the papers which need shredding,
photostat the papers which need photostating,
chop my approval on documents which need chopping,
hold numerous meetings with my staff about increasing productivity in the office,
(my staff)
and write checks for the thousand over employees working under me (I really do write the checks! I just do not sign them. My manager does that instead. My signature is ugly anyway. lol)
Because my office is situated nicely beside the door,
it seems that it is ideal for checking on staff who are late for work, or leaving too early before dismissal. And because it is a human resource agency, there are frequently strangers coming into the office for god knows what reason. And the minute they stepped into the office, to the right, they can see the open door to my very own office, and a suave and very capable-looking Managing Director looking at them straight in the eye, while busy shredding papers.
It gives them the shivers I know; I have that effect, not only on girls.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Once
We only have this life Once;
this youth, Once.
Live it to the fullest!
take risks; live dangerously.
Don't complain about life being boring,
or constantly bad.
If you want happiness,
go all out and enjoy yourself!
Do everything with passion,
with all your heart!
Don't be afraid to get angry,
don't be afraid to cry.
Lie if you want,
laugh whenever!
Hate your enemies openly,
Love your friends outwardly.
Love a girl with all your heart,
and if she doesnt love you,
continue loving her passionately
silently.
If you can,
Love another,
then another
and another.
Go for your dreams,
Be ambitious,
and if you fall short,
don't settle for that yet;
Make another dream!
Nothing Is Impossible
Moderation is Mediocrity
this youth, Once.
Live it to the fullest!
take risks; live dangerously.
Don't complain about life being boring,
or constantly bad.
If you want happiness,
go all out and enjoy yourself!
Do everything with passion,
with all your heart!
Don't be afraid to get angry,
don't be afraid to cry.
Lie if you want,
laugh whenever!
Hate your enemies openly,
Love your friends outwardly.
Love a girl with all your heart,
and if she doesnt love you,
continue loving her passionately
silently.
If you can,
Love another,
then another
and another.
Go for your dreams,
Be ambitious,
and if you fall short,
don't settle for that yet;
Make another dream!
Nothing Is Impossible
Moderation is Mediocrity
Just
I love waking to the feel of cold wind curling at my feet, the wind steadily building up in strength as it howls through my window, even if I have to wake up at 7am and shut all the windows for fear of rain.
And I love waking again to the sound of heavy rain pelting my windows in a crazy rhythm, as though in a hurry to be somewhere else; and sure enough, gone all too soon.
Then there is the coolness in the air after the wind and the rain, pressing lightly on my eyelids and wouldnt let them open. But its too nice a weather to sleep through, and so I lay there all curled up in the cold, just relaxing and enjoying.
So I had a sudden call to work today, but that doesnt spoil anything. Off to work now, but hey, nice weather. ^^
And I love waking again to the sound of heavy rain pelting my windows in a crazy rhythm, as though in a hurry to be somewhere else; and sure enough, gone all too soon.
Then there is the coolness in the air after the wind and the rain, pressing lightly on my eyelids and wouldnt let them open. But its too nice a weather to sleep through, and so I lay there all curled up in the cold, just relaxing and enjoying.
So I had a sudden call to work today, but that doesnt spoil anything. Off to work now, but hey, nice weather. ^^
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Desperation
When you see me blogging, either of the two things must have happened: 1. I got such fantastic inspiration to blog which overwhelms everything I have been doing at the moment and forces me to blog immediately, or 2. the game servers are down. In this case, it is the latter reason which caused me to blog. Maybe we should all be grateful to the lousy servers that we are able to see any new posts on my blog at all.
But why not say, in a more sympathetic manner (to myself), that this post is born out of a combination of both reasons. Maybe it weighs heavily on the latter reason, but hey, nothing is ever fair and equal in this world.
Anyhow, let us talk about something that has been on our minds for the longest time ever: relationships. Admit it: ever since primary school, you have been wondering about getting a gf/bf, peering at potential targets and wondering about secret suitors. Or at least, I have been. It all seems to make a lot of sense, even back then. You ought to get a gf/bf, you ought to have some form of courtship, be nice to her/him, get married, have kids, argue with your wife/husband every now and then, beat the kids a bit, etc etc., then teach the same thing to your kids.
It appears to come easily: just because we are "supposed" to love someone, we can do so. I keep searching within me, the "special feeling" for someone. In primary school, that comes easily, wonders upon wonders. It just took a sentence, from my mum no less (who was jesting): "you like that girl rite?" and bam, I knew I was in love, with someone I barely noticed up until that point my mum asked that question. This elusive "special feeling" apparently can be called up by a simple sentence like that.
Well, the feeling didnt last long, not that I remember much of what happened when I was that young. Nor did anything happpen between me and that girl. Goodness! I couldnt even remember her name. heh.
But after that (and we are skipping on ahead to my secondary school days), I got more serious about relationships. Serious meaning I still remember what I did and felt. lol. But thats a story for another day and another post, as is my "love" in jc, and my love in uni.
The weird thing about all these, including the primary school period, is that we seem to have this noose around our necks, dragging us up on tiptoes, tottering everywhere looking for our elusive other halves who are supposed to "complete" us. And after some searching, we found someone whom we can probably tolerate pretty well for some time, and we latched on to him/him like a lifesaver, in a bid to let that noose let up at least a little.
And it did; it is as though the promise of a future spouse tricked the noose into relaxing its hold on us: we can now breathe a little easier, and walk more normally, albeit carefully.
Should the supposed "other half" leave for some reason, immediately our breathing hasten, the noose tightens, and we go on tiptoes again, driven again on this endless search.
But why are we doing this? What is this noose exactly? If it is just simply societal pressure, why does it seem so natural to obey it? The Collectivists would say that it is precisely because it is social, that it seems normal, but we aren't doing sociology here, so they can take a hike.
Well, this post is getting too lengthy as it is. I will continue this (might!), in the next post. Until then, stay tuned!
But why not say, in a more sympathetic manner (to myself), that this post is born out of a combination of both reasons. Maybe it weighs heavily on the latter reason, but hey, nothing is ever fair and equal in this world.
Anyhow, let us talk about something that has been on our minds for the longest time ever: relationships. Admit it: ever since primary school, you have been wondering about getting a gf/bf, peering at potential targets and wondering about secret suitors. Or at least, I have been. It all seems to make a lot of sense, even back then. You ought to get a gf/bf, you ought to have some form of courtship, be nice to her/him, get married, have kids, argue with your wife/husband every now and then, beat the kids a bit, etc etc., then teach the same thing to your kids.
It appears to come easily: just because we are "supposed" to love someone, we can do so. I keep searching within me, the "special feeling" for someone. In primary school, that comes easily, wonders upon wonders. It just took a sentence, from my mum no less (who was jesting): "you like that girl rite?" and bam, I knew I was in love, with someone I barely noticed up until that point my mum asked that question. This elusive "special feeling" apparently can be called up by a simple sentence like that.
Well, the feeling didnt last long, not that I remember much of what happened when I was that young. Nor did anything happpen between me and that girl. Goodness! I couldnt even remember her name. heh.
But after that (and we are skipping on ahead to my secondary school days), I got more serious about relationships. Serious meaning I still remember what I did and felt. lol. But thats a story for another day and another post, as is my "love" in jc, and my love in uni.
The weird thing about all these, including the primary school period, is that we seem to have this noose around our necks, dragging us up on tiptoes, tottering everywhere looking for our elusive other halves who are supposed to "complete" us. And after some searching, we found someone whom we can probably tolerate pretty well for some time, and we latched on to him/him like a lifesaver, in a bid to let that noose let up at least a little.
And it did; it is as though the promise of a future spouse tricked the noose into relaxing its hold on us: we can now breathe a little easier, and walk more normally, albeit carefully.
Should the supposed "other half" leave for some reason, immediately our breathing hasten, the noose tightens, and we go on tiptoes again, driven again on this endless search.
But why are we doing this? What is this noose exactly? If it is just simply societal pressure, why does it seem so natural to obey it? The Collectivists would say that it is precisely because it is social, that it seems normal, but we aren't doing sociology here, so they can take a hike.
Well, this post is getting too lengthy as it is. I will continue this (might!), in the next post. Until then, stay tuned!
Individualism
"The man who can really stand alone in the world, only taking counsel from his own conscience--that man is a hero..." - Soren Kierkegaard.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
不一樣的魅力
男人要懂得沉默, 才能有魅力, 才會性感. 卻不是無話可說的沉默, 而是藏著萬千話語但無需言語的沉默.
女人要懂得笑, 才會迷人. 但也不是一味的甜笑, 而是帶著強烈的獨立感, 洋溢著智慧的笑, 才夠迷人.
女人要懂得笑, 才會迷人. 但也不是一味的甜笑, 而是帶著強烈的獨立感, 洋溢著智慧的笑, 才夠迷人.
Friday, June 23, 2006
money and time
I quitted my job today, the warehousing job. It is really tough work, and need to OT nearly everyday till 10pm, practically without any OT pay. Thats just lousy. So I made the clever choice of quitting before I psycho-ed myself it is quite a good job afterall.
Because I am such a competent, smart and handsome manual labourer, my boss couldnt bear to let me go. He laid on the ground and grabbed my legs refusing to let me leave. But I kicked him aside, and firmly told him that my talents shouldnt be wasted in such a place. So they held a farewell dinner in my honor which lasted over 2 days, to bid this temp worker who has been with them for the past 4days adieu.
Of course that was all bullshit. But it is really true that I quitted the stupid job. Worked my ass off to get only $280. I rather do the office work for 5days which got me $250.
But why am I working in the first place? To earn more money so I can buy stuff? or for savings? Not exactly. This is for daily expenses. My family is in this financial state now that my dad is roughly not earning any money at all. My sis is earning, but she just started working, so her pay is damn low, and she practically needs to support the whole family with her earnings.
So I needed to get some money, to use or to save whatever. But besides that, a man really need to have some spare cash by him. Lets be honest here: men of my age needs to jio pretty gals out for dates, dinner etc. And you really cant do that without any money, and I certainly could not ask my parents for money to date gals when we are already so poor. So I got to earn some myself to justify my expenditure.
Another problem is that given our financial status, it is highly unlikely that you can find another family in NUS who is very much worse off than us. So the probability of me finding a girlfriend who is much richer than me is near astronomical. Lets not say if there is any particular rich gal I am targetting at the moment; lets just put it this way: all eligible and non-eligible gals around me are all very much richer.
So they got to really not mind going out with a poor guy. Having the reputation for being poor is one thing, going out with someone who cant afford to treat you every now and then, who cant afford to go to posh places even infrequently, or cant even buy you too many roses, thats quite a serious negative point.
Thats why I had to earn a bit of spare cash: to at least be able to take the girl i like out for dates.
And now, I quitted my job. Even though it is bringing in a bit of cash, it really is bad paying; whats more, my back doesnt allow me to carry too heavy stuff, having slipped disc and all. So its better for me to quit, and quitting that mon-sat-everyday-OT-till10pm job also meant I can have time to actually date gals. lol.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Updates
The day before, my sis's pc shorted or crashed. Yesterday, mine followed it too. For a day, I have no computer access at home. Today I just got my pc back, which had recovered for no apparent reason. In the future, should i cease to blog or go online for a long period of time, it meant the same thing has probably happened.
Found a job at ST logistics. Warehousing; I am supposed to move this really heavy cartons of Hang Ten t-shirts around, each around 4-8kg. The pay is 5.5 per hour, and compulsory OT everyday till around 9pm, even though we start work at 8am. OT pay is 1.5times, but ONLY applicable if you had clocked 44hrs a week in the first place. That sucks great time.
Lazy to blog. Ciao.
Found a job at ST logistics. Warehousing; I am supposed to move this really heavy cartons of Hang Ten t-shirts around, each around 4-8kg. The pay is 5.5 per hour, and compulsory OT everyday till around 9pm, even though we start work at 8am. OT pay is 1.5times, but ONLY applicable if you had clocked 44hrs a week in the first place. That sucks great time.
Lazy to blog. Ciao.
Friday, June 16, 2006
The enigma
Some of us complain that we live in a boring age: where are the centuars and medusas; where are the Gods who used to walk amongst us, where are the weird and dangerous places which by their existence alone intrigue the curiosity and spawn deeds of bravery and legends? I mean, all we have are the lame Loch Ness Monster who never ate anyone, and the Bermuda Triangle which is in danger of fading into anonymity. Give us a break!
Nowadays everything is claimed to be explicable under the banner of Science; the holy light of Science promises to banish all the monsters under the bed, slaying the evil dragons by sheer reason alone. While this pompous claim seems much resented by the romantics, at the same time, reflection on reason itself will show that it is not really possible, despite its recent success.
However, science aside, perhaps not every myth and legend could really ever be rooted out, or indeed wished to be so. For despite the intervening eons since Adam and Eve, there still remains the greatest enigma of all time, the unfathomable knowledge -- the siren-like woman.
No one ever knows what a woman is thinking, can be thinking, or would be thinking; not another woman, and definitely not a man, maybe not even the woman herself. Trying to guess what a woman is thinking is not so much like trying to guage what direction she might jump while she jumped in an entirely different direction; trying to do so is more like trying to guage what direction she might jump when she suddenly turned into a flock of penguins and fly away.
If there is a vote on the "Greatest Mysteries of the 21st century", I would heartily vote woman to be the first, in addition to the "Greatest Mysteries of all time" and the "The Number one Mysteries probably solvable nowhere in the Future". It is said that even male porcupines dont understand the female porcupines.
To fully describe a woman, it would be best to mix tequila with some bailey, add a pinch of soda, a drop of volka and some raw ethanol, and some ice cubes. The resulting mixture still wouldnt help in describing woman, but drinking it may make the task seems easier.
And to complicate matters, women dont want to be understood, or fully described. There is nothing to irk a woman more than to be told that you understand her fully, or want to understand her someday. Being understood fully can be stifling: every move you make, every breath you take is predictable; every reason you have for doing anything can be told to you from another mouth as if its yours.
While this may be stifling even for men, woman however makes the quality of unknowable into an art, ingraining in us the feeling that the world may change, gravity may go away, but women will always be unfathomable.
Nowadays everything is claimed to be explicable under the banner of Science; the holy light of Science promises to banish all the monsters under the bed, slaying the evil dragons by sheer reason alone. While this pompous claim seems much resented by the romantics, at the same time, reflection on reason itself will show that it is not really possible, despite its recent success.
However, science aside, perhaps not every myth and legend could really ever be rooted out, or indeed wished to be so. For despite the intervening eons since Adam and Eve, there still remains the greatest enigma of all time, the unfathomable knowledge -- the siren-like woman.
No one ever knows what a woman is thinking, can be thinking, or would be thinking; not another woman, and definitely not a man, maybe not even the woman herself. Trying to guess what a woman is thinking is not so much like trying to guage what direction she might jump while she jumped in an entirely different direction; trying to do so is more like trying to guage what direction she might jump when she suddenly turned into a flock of penguins and fly away.
If there is a vote on the "Greatest Mysteries of the 21st century", I would heartily vote woman to be the first, in addition to the "Greatest Mysteries of all time" and the "The Number one Mysteries probably solvable nowhere in the Future". It is said that even male porcupines dont understand the female porcupines.
To fully describe a woman, it would be best to mix tequila with some bailey, add a pinch of soda, a drop of volka and some raw ethanol, and some ice cubes. The resulting mixture still wouldnt help in describing woman, but drinking it may make the task seems easier.
And to complicate matters, women dont want to be understood, or fully described. There is nothing to irk a woman more than to be told that you understand her fully, or want to understand her someday. Being understood fully can be stifling: every move you make, every breath you take is predictable; every reason you have for doing anything can be told to you from another mouth as if its yours.
While this may be stifling even for men, woman however makes the quality of unknowable into an art, ingraining in us the feeling that the world may change, gravity may go away, but women will always be unfathomable.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
recently
I guess I need to update a bit on my life now... else no one will be visiting this blog anymore.
Firstly, I am not doing much during this holidays; I had planned to get a temp job and learn driving after work, but even though I applied for the driving lessons already etc, I havent gone for a single lesson, cos no money since I havent got a proper job.
So I am playing games nearly everyday, and getting black looks from my parents for doing only that. Fortunately I got a few days temp job at some job agency, helping them do miscellaneous stuff like filing, stamping documents, writing cheques etc, so I am bringing a little bit of money home. Not enough to pay for the driving lessons, but probably just enough to stave off my parents' black looks. hehee
Initially hor, I had a grand plan for working during this holidays. I applied for internship at MOE, but for obvious reasons (which I am not stating) the application didnt go through (actually I will be quite surprised if it really does go through).
So my plan B was to go work at some starbucks or coffeebean outlet. (I heard they pay really badly.) Eventually, I didnt go work at starbucks or coffeebean though, I dont drink coffee anyway. sigh.
So after plan B failed, I am just a wandering soul, looking for any kind of stupid job there is to have. Seriously a bit aimless, a bit numb. Even my dreams are composed of scenes in the game, how successful I am at numbing huh. lol.
Firstly, I am not doing much during this holidays; I had planned to get a temp job and learn driving after work, but even though I applied for the driving lessons already etc, I havent gone for a single lesson, cos no money since I havent got a proper job.
So I am playing games nearly everyday, and getting black looks from my parents for doing only that. Fortunately I got a few days temp job at some job agency, helping them do miscellaneous stuff like filing, stamping documents, writing cheques etc, so I am bringing a little bit of money home. Not enough to pay for the driving lessons, but probably just enough to stave off my parents' black looks. hehee
Initially hor, I had a grand plan for working during this holidays. I applied for internship at MOE, but for obvious reasons (which I am not stating) the application didnt go through (actually I will be quite surprised if it really does go through).
So my plan B was to go work at some starbucks or coffeebean outlet. (I heard they pay really badly.) Eventually, I didnt go work at starbucks or coffeebean though, I dont drink coffee anyway. sigh.
So after plan B failed, I am just a wandering soul, looking for any kind of stupid job there is to have. Seriously a bit aimless, a bit numb. Even my dreams are composed of scenes in the game, how successful I am at numbing huh. lol.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Sick
Really am sick, fever etc. Got a cough, took some cough medicine, and perhaps developed some allergy; whole face swollen. super itchy.
dunno how long this spell will take. got a 3 day temp job, sickness+job wun be blogging much.
dunno how long this spell will take. got a 3 day temp job, sickness+job wun be blogging much.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Havent been blogging
Guess what, my pc is dead again. So I wouldnt be online most of the time, or blogging regularly. I am using my sis's pc, but since the pc is out in the hall, it is pretty prominent - dad and mum doesnt like to see me playing games (usually I close my door to play on my own pc).
So there. I got nothing to blog about anyway.
So there. I got nothing to blog about anyway.
Friday, May 19, 2006
the movies
Most people do not believe in movies or dramas. Not in the sense of doubting their existence, but disbelieving that so many dramatic incidents could happen to a person in so short a time period. In movies and drama, an ordinary person is turned into emotional freak who always has lots of interesting stuff happening to him/her.
Not that the interesting things couldnt have happened in reality, but after a while you will start doubting if a single person could ever have that much interesting stuff all happening to him. It is almost like a tap of the fairy's wand - and hey presto, I am in movie, and therefore I know interesting things will happen to me.
But most people lead ordinary lives, very unlike the movies or tv dramas, different in degree if not in kind. Sometimes we may even wish for more interesting things would happen to us, like a sudden lottery strike, or discovering a long lost twin.
However, unbeknownst to many, there is one aspect of our lives that is just like the movies, sometimes just as dramatic if not more so, and it is this one aspect of our lives that we wish would be more ordinary. Yet ordinary not in the sense of being not-interesting; for to be bored in this aspect of life would be serious indeed.
For some people, this aspect have all the intrigues of the movies and dramas put together, and more; you have people plotting behind your back, random gossips and chance coincidences conspiring against you, unfortunate mistakes and the grossest slips of tongue leading to unimaginable troubles and misunderstandings, and maybe even a grand conspiracy theory working in the background.
Friends turn to foes, and the next corner you turn may be the last step you ever take; smiling strangers stab you when you turn your back; all your plans never worked more than halfway.
Hurt and scars are guaranteed; happily ever after is just a myth like the movies are ficticious. Yet unlike the movies, the lull period never got cut out and being replaced by "seven years later"; you live through the darkest periods of your not quite long life, slowly counting every second, every year.
What aspect of your life am I talking about? If by now you havent quite guessed, here's the answer: your lovelife.
Not that the interesting things couldnt have happened in reality, but after a while you will start doubting if a single person could ever have that much interesting stuff all happening to him. It is almost like a tap of the fairy's wand - and hey presto, I am in movie, and therefore I know interesting things will happen to me.
But most people lead ordinary lives, very unlike the movies or tv dramas, different in degree if not in kind. Sometimes we may even wish for more interesting things would happen to us, like a sudden lottery strike, or discovering a long lost twin.
However, unbeknownst to many, there is one aspect of our lives that is just like the movies, sometimes just as dramatic if not more so, and it is this one aspect of our lives that we wish would be more ordinary. Yet ordinary not in the sense of being not-interesting; for to be bored in this aspect of life would be serious indeed.
For some people, this aspect have all the intrigues of the movies and dramas put together, and more; you have people plotting behind your back, random gossips and chance coincidences conspiring against you, unfortunate mistakes and the grossest slips of tongue leading to unimaginable troubles and misunderstandings, and maybe even a grand conspiracy theory working in the background.
Friends turn to foes, and the next corner you turn may be the last step you ever take; smiling strangers stab you when you turn your back; all your plans never worked more than halfway.
Hurt and scars are guaranteed; happily ever after is just a myth like the movies are ficticious. Yet unlike the movies, the lull period never got cut out and being replaced by "seven years later"; you live through the darkest periods of your not quite long life, slowly counting every second, every year.
What aspect of your life am I talking about? If by now you havent quite guessed, here's the answer: your lovelife.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
天才與白痴
Smart people are always trying to take over the world. So what does this means?
It means its better to be one of the stupid people.
But why?
I know you are thinking somewhere along the lines that it is easier to be stupid people; to not go after things that are as impossible as taking over the world. But sadly, you are wrong. (Admit it, you were thinking I will be saying that.)
But no, thats not the reason.
Think about it: if smart people are always trying to take over the world, who are they trying to supplant? The stupid people of course. Stupid people own the world.
So therefore thus ergo, it is better to be stupid; we own the world man.
It means its better to be one of the stupid people.
But why?
I know you are thinking somewhere along the lines that it is easier to be stupid people; to not go after things that are as impossible as taking over the world. But sadly, you are wrong. (Admit it, you were thinking I will be saying that.)
But no, thats not the reason.
Think about it: if smart people are always trying to take over the world, who are they trying to supplant? The stupid people of course. Stupid people own the world.
So therefore thus ergo, it is better to be stupid; we own the world man.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
delirious
Seems like subconsciously I am trying to numb myself? Or maybe it just is my addiction with the Knight Online game; in any case, I play the game from day till night until I am ready to drop on my face and froth.
Thats good actually, since I actually dont have to worry about getting sleepless nights. Though of cos, sometimes even sheer physical and mental fatigue cant stop me thinking and I still stay awake half the night. But possibly that has been reduced to a minimum - without the fatigue, maybe I wouldnt have been able to sleep till 7am.
Some one told me that we shouldnt be so full of ourselves: that being sad wouldnt affect others as much as we like to think we would. Well hopefully that is true, so I am affecting no one by my mood now. It's no one's fault anyway, really. Or if its anyone's fault, its mine.
And having the game infusing and confusing my mind is sort of a relief, since I cant keep a straight thought for more than 2 mins now. Every night, I know I dreamt of something I would be sad over in the day, but I nearly couldnt remember any of the dreams now. So thats sort of a blessing then. If you cant remember what you were sad over, then you couldnt really be sad.
That is very true huh. But if reality can be as easily obscured like the dreams, life will be much better and easier. Sometimes you wish for amnesia, but those that wish for it never got it, those who dont want it get it instead.
You know, night is the best time to get sad. Dark and quiet, switch off the music and you have the perfect setting. You can imagine the wind ruffling through your hair, as you stared into the inky darkness, looking at some images that only you would dream of. It is as though the world stood still for a moment to observe the depression.
So dark, you can almost hear your soul sigh.
Thats good actually, since I actually dont have to worry about getting sleepless nights. Though of cos, sometimes even sheer physical and mental fatigue cant stop me thinking and I still stay awake half the night. But possibly that has been reduced to a minimum - without the fatigue, maybe I wouldnt have been able to sleep till 7am.
Some one told me that we shouldnt be so full of ourselves: that being sad wouldnt affect others as much as we like to think we would. Well hopefully that is true, so I am affecting no one by my mood now. It's no one's fault anyway, really. Or if its anyone's fault, its mine.
And having the game infusing and confusing my mind is sort of a relief, since I cant keep a straight thought for more than 2 mins now. Every night, I know I dreamt of something I would be sad over in the day, but I nearly couldnt remember any of the dreams now. So thats sort of a blessing then. If you cant remember what you were sad over, then you couldnt really be sad.
That is very true huh. But if reality can be as easily obscured like the dreams, life will be much better and easier. Sometimes you wish for amnesia, but those that wish for it never got it, those who dont want it get it instead.
You know, night is the best time to get sad. Dark and quiet, switch off the music and you have the perfect setting. You can imagine the wind ruffling through your hair, as you stared into the inky darkness, looking at some images that only you would dream of. It is as though the world stood still for a moment to observe the depression.
So dark, you can almost hear your soul sigh.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
FASS student ambassador
yah, as the title suggests, I am being made one of the FASS student ambassadors (by my prof I think). For those who dont know what a FASS student ambassador is or does, it's ok, cos neither do I. (its not an honorary post or sth fyi; its just like arrowed for sai gang.)
I thought I was to help man the philo booth during open house, and when an email came asking me to go for some tea session, with the two words "open house" included within the email, I responded favourably. As it turns out, its got very little to do with the open house. zzzz.
Anyway, it's just a talk cock session with the vice dean (Paulin Tay) and the assistant dean (Dr Chng, whom I know, and she knows me by name too), and they told us some interesting stuff.
But, there are some things you as FASS student should know (and as a student ambassador, I am supposed to spread around =_=")
1. The module preference exercise that will be held sometime in the middle of the holiday is going to replace Majors module bidding. Thats right, you indicate what module you taking next sem, and they will automatically allocate your major module to you! No need to compete for your own major modules during CORS anymore, you just need to bid for your non-major modules.
So for those who are going on holidays, or working, too busy to check your email, just remember nonetheless that you HAVE to do the module preference exercise this year. It used to be that the module preference exercise is just for the professors to gauge the class size, but now its used to allocate major modules.
Please spread the word around, and (I probably shouldnt say this but) please tell your friends who are in popular majors like Psychology; this module preference exercise is especially important for them since they usually spend most of your CORS points on their own major bidding. So remember to get it preallocated to you.
2. The Arts canteen is going to be torn down and rebuilt, taking roughly 9 months for the whole process. In the meantime, arts students have to go engine to eat I guess. It will be starting roughly in August, and that means next sem. Jeez, even though the canteen sucks, I much prefer to eat there rather than trek all the way to engine. sigh. The new canteen is supposed to be partially air-conditioned, with two levels, the upper level being the higher end stalls. But my guess is that the air-conditioned area is going to be quite small. zzz
So there, updates from a FASS student ambassador. Check this space for more interesting updates. haha.
I thought I was to help man the philo booth during open house, and when an email came asking me to go for some tea session, with the two words "open house" included within the email, I responded favourably. As it turns out, its got very little to do with the open house. zzzz.
Anyway, it's just a talk cock session with the vice dean (Paulin Tay) and the assistant dean (Dr Chng, whom I know, and she knows me by name too), and they told us some interesting stuff.
But, there are some things you as FASS student should know (and as a student ambassador, I am supposed to spread around =_=")
1. The module preference exercise that will be held sometime in the middle of the holiday is going to replace Majors module bidding. Thats right, you indicate what module you taking next sem, and they will automatically allocate your major module to you! No need to compete for your own major modules during CORS anymore, you just need to bid for your non-major modules.
So for those who are going on holidays, or working, too busy to check your email, just remember nonetheless that you HAVE to do the module preference exercise this year. It used to be that the module preference exercise is just for the professors to gauge the class size, but now its used to allocate major modules.
Please spread the word around, and (I probably shouldnt say this but) please tell your friends who are in popular majors like Psychology; this module preference exercise is especially important for them since they usually spend most of your CORS points on their own major bidding. So remember to get it preallocated to you.
2. The Arts canteen is going to be torn down and rebuilt, taking roughly 9 months for the whole process. In the meantime, arts students have to go engine to eat I guess. It will be starting roughly in August, and that means next sem. Jeez, even though the canteen sucks, I much prefer to eat there rather than trek all the way to engine. sigh. The new canteen is supposed to be partially air-conditioned, with two levels, the upper level being the higher end stalls. But my guess is that the air-conditioned area is going to be quite small. zzz
So there, updates from a FASS student ambassador. Check this space for more interesting updates. haha.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
melodies
Sometimes when I listen to a piece of music, or a song, particularly sad ones, I get this urge to learn to play the musical instrument, or any other similar instrument for that matter.
Particularly the melodies, a pull of the violin, a draw on the saxophone, seem to be conveying some pure emotions; a feeling that is not properly embodied by the mind, never properly expressible in words; a sound that tugs at something unknown within you, as though it is the raw voice of it incarnate. A wordless, indescribable sadness incarnate.
Only that it isnt played by me; it might have been a raw emotion, but it is a raw emotion of somebody else's. It may not even have been true feeling, but something like a neighbour to it; something like speaking to a French, but French not being your native tongue; your speech is comprehensible to the French, but it isnt the real thing.
Thats why I long to be able to play an instrument, any instrument. Or at least, be able to sing - that at least, would express something, even if it's overshadowed by the words. Even without words, or better off because of without, there are sounds that can only properly express that which is within you- that which maybe even you wouldnt understand it yourself.
Particularly the melodies, a pull of the violin, a draw on the saxophone, seem to be conveying some pure emotions; a feeling that is not properly embodied by the mind, never properly expressible in words; a sound that tugs at something unknown within you, as though it is the raw voice of it incarnate. A wordless, indescribable sadness incarnate.
Only that it isnt played by me; it might have been a raw emotion, but it is a raw emotion of somebody else's. It may not even have been true feeling, but something like a neighbour to it; something like speaking to a French, but French not being your native tongue; your speech is comprehensible to the French, but it isnt the real thing.
Thats why I long to be able to play an instrument, any instrument. Or at least, be able to sing - that at least, would express something, even if it's overshadowed by the words. Even without words, or better off because of without, there are sounds that can only properly express that which is within you- that which maybe even you wouldnt understand it yourself.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Idealism
Does the table exist after you leave the room (and no one is perceiving it)?
Such questions are what usually make philosophy notorious. Actually its not so much the question, but the answer, for in fact according to some philosophers, its more plausible to argue that the table doesnt exist after you leave the room, than to argue that it continues to exist.
I will show you in less than 10 paragraphs how to argue for that, and after this, you can show off to friends who think they know everything in the world.
First, you agree that the table exist after you leave the room? Naturally.
But what is to say that the table exist at all? Well, it means you can touch it, you can see it, smell it, lick it, sit on it, put things on it etc. The existence of the table is the sum total of these properties.
Agreed? Well, then, what happens when you leave the room (and shut the door, and no one else is in the room)? You can no longer see the table, no longer touch it. In fact, since no one is in the room, no one is perceiving the table, touching it at the moment.
So how do you know that the table exist?
It's perfectly conceivable to say it doesnt exist! If the existence of the table is exactly the sum total of being seen, being touched etc., then it doesnt exist for the same reason: no one is seeing it, touching it etc.
Ah, then you say, but the table still exists, because if I open the door quickly, there it is again, right in the same place.
But how do you know if the table disappeared during the time when you are not looking?
So you say: we've never seen any table that will disappear in our absence.
That is perfectly true. But have you seen any table in the absence of anybody at all? No one has ever seen a table when nobody is present. Everytime a table is seen, there is at least some people around, namely at least you. No one has ever seen an unseen table, so how can you predict with such certainty that unseen tables dont disappear, and reappear when someone is seeing it?
Then you say: i put a book on the table, and when i reenter the room, the book is still on the table! If the table disappeared in my absence, then the book would have fallen onto the ground rite? The book didnt fall, ergo the table didnt disappear.
Aha! So you say; but how do you know the book existed when you are not in the room? It might have disappeared along with the table, and reappear when you enter the room.
So you object: Guys guys, this is pointless, I was looking through a peekhole all along, and hey presto, the table (along with the book) didnt disappear! Therefore we know that the table still exists in our absence.
But sadly no, this is not valid an objection at all. If someone is looking at the table through a peekhole, then it means the table is being perceived. The question is whether the table exist when it is not being perceived at all. And this you cannot show.
Take a video cam and record the table "in action"?
No, the video cam might just have disappeared and reappeared with the table when it is in the room where no one is perceiving it. Just give it up, why do you want to say the table continue to exist? You got no proof that the table exists in everyone's absence.
Surely its logical to think that the damn table continues to exist. There is no special reason why it should disappear and reappear like that.
Well, I can tell you its more logical that the table NOT continue to exist when we are not perceiving it. The existence of the table means nothing more than being seen, being touched, being heard when we rap our knuckles on it, etc. (To appreciate this, imagine if I tell you that there is a table in this room, but you cant see it, cant touch it, your hand will pass through it; you will probably be inclined to say that the table doesnt exist). Since in everybody's absence, the table would be being not seen, not heard, not touched etc., there is nothing more to say that the table exist. It doesnt make sense to say it exists.
So there... the table doesnt exist when you are not in the room.
Such questions are what usually make philosophy notorious. Actually its not so much the question, but the answer, for in fact according to some philosophers, its more plausible to argue that the table doesnt exist after you leave the room, than to argue that it continues to exist.
I will show you in less than 10 paragraphs how to argue for that, and after this, you can show off to friends who think they know everything in the world.
First, you agree that the table exist after you leave the room? Naturally.
But what is to say that the table exist at all? Well, it means you can touch it, you can see it, smell it, lick it, sit on it, put things on it etc. The existence of the table is the sum total of these properties.
Agreed? Well, then, what happens when you leave the room (and shut the door, and no one else is in the room)? You can no longer see the table, no longer touch it. In fact, since no one is in the room, no one is perceiving the table, touching it at the moment.
So how do you know that the table exist?
It's perfectly conceivable to say it doesnt exist! If the existence of the table is exactly the sum total of being seen, being touched etc., then it doesnt exist for the same reason: no one is seeing it, touching it etc.
Ah, then you say, but the table still exists, because if I open the door quickly, there it is again, right in the same place.
But how do you know if the table disappeared during the time when you are not looking?
So you say: we've never seen any table that will disappear in our absence.
That is perfectly true. But have you seen any table in the absence of anybody at all? No one has ever seen a table when nobody is present. Everytime a table is seen, there is at least some people around, namely at least you. No one has ever seen an unseen table, so how can you predict with such certainty that unseen tables dont disappear, and reappear when someone is seeing it?
Then you say: i put a book on the table, and when i reenter the room, the book is still on the table! If the table disappeared in my absence, then the book would have fallen onto the ground rite? The book didnt fall, ergo the table didnt disappear.
Aha! So you say; but how do you know the book existed when you are not in the room? It might have disappeared along with the table, and reappear when you enter the room.
So you object: Guys guys, this is pointless, I was looking through a peekhole all along, and hey presto, the table (along with the book) didnt disappear! Therefore we know that the table still exists in our absence.
But sadly no, this is not valid an objection at all. If someone is looking at the table through a peekhole, then it means the table is being perceived. The question is whether the table exist when it is not being perceived at all. And this you cannot show.
Take a video cam and record the table "in action"?
No, the video cam might just have disappeared and reappeared with the table when it is in the room where no one is perceiving it. Just give it up, why do you want to say the table continue to exist? You got no proof that the table exists in everyone's absence.
Surely its logical to think that the damn table continues to exist. There is no special reason why it should disappear and reappear like that.
Well, I can tell you its more logical that the table NOT continue to exist when we are not perceiving it. The existence of the table means nothing more than being seen, being touched, being heard when we rap our knuckles on it, etc. (To appreciate this, imagine if I tell you that there is a table in this room, but you cant see it, cant touch it, your hand will pass through it; you will probably be inclined to say that the table doesnt exist). Since in everybody's absence, the table would be being not seen, not heard, not touched etc., there is nothing more to say that the table exist. It doesnt make sense to say it exists.
So there... the table doesnt exist when you are not in the room.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Money
Show me the money for being lonely
So many words for a broken heart
but hard to see any greenback notes
So hard to breathe
work with me, my baby
Nights and nights, so soon become
Bow and plea, I cant see the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me...
Show me the money for being lonely
is this the only I need to work with
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
its something I'll remember hard.
Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trams
They never stay, forever coming for me
Guilty roads to an endless curve
There’s no controls(!?)
Are you with me now(?!?)
Your every wish will be done
They tell me
Show me the money for being lonely
is this the only I need to work with
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
its something I'll remember hard.
There's no where to run,
I have no place to go
So render my heart, body and soul
How can it be you're asking me to use things you never show?
Bills are piling in my yard
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
Show me the money for being lonely
Is this the only I need to work with
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
its something I'll remember hard.
So many words for a broken heart
but hard to see any greenback notes
So hard to breathe
work with me, my baby
Nights and nights, so soon become
Bow and plea, I cant see the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me...
Show me the money for being lonely
is this the only I need to work with
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
its something I'll remember hard.
Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trams
They never stay, forever coming for me
Guilty roads to an endless curve
There’s no controls(!?)
Are you with me now(?!?)
Your every wish will be done
They tell me
Show me the money for being lonely
is this the only I need to work with
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
its something I'll remember hard.
There's no where to run,
I have no place to go
So render my heart, body and soul
How can it be you're asking me to use things you never show?
Bills are piling in my yard
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
Show me the money for being lonely
Is this the only I need to work with
Tell me why I cant be driving that car
its something I'll remember hard.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
clean
Everyone wants a sanitized version of a person for friends - people who seemingly dont have troubles at all, no personal conflicts; people who, like the heros and heroines in novels, dont have embarrassing calls of nature, who have no need to bathe and no fear of smelling bad.
They like to think that their friends are brushed-up, shining examples of mankind, who emerge from their sleep exactly like how we see them everyday - any troubles they have would have been, if they were wise, self-consciously tucked away before facing the world; it is the selfish friend who imposes his troubles on the world by wearing it on his face.
But everyone has troubles, and everyone is merely tucking them beneath the surface, hiding their weary and dying interiors away from sight. Then when something like a cough racks your body, the skin deep appearances threaten to tear, and reveal just what a wretch you have been.
It feels especially vulnerable when you are sick, when you dont know you are coughing because of the throat, or because you are coughing to cover up the frantic, confused you lurking under that hand.
I am not okay - but if you ask me, I will tell you I am fine.
They like to think that their friends are brushed-up, shining examples of mankind, who emerge from their sleep exactly like how we see them everyday - any troubles they have would have been, if they were wise, self-consciously tucked away before facing the world; it is the selfish friend who imposes his troubles on the world by wearing it on his face.
But everyone has troubles, and everyone is merely tucking them beneath the surface, hiding their weary and dying interiors away from sight. Then when something like a cough racks your body, the skin deep appearances threaten to tear, and reveal just what a wretch you have been.
It feels especially vulnerable when you are sick, when you dont know you are coughing because of the throat, or because you are coughing to cover up the frantic, confused you lurking under that hand.
I am not okay - but if you ask me, I will tell you I am fine.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
sleep when raining
Do you know that most people feel an urge to sleep in, or just sleep when it is raining? My dad, for one, sleeps like a concussed log when its raining (if logs can concuss), even though he usually have severe sleeping problems. There is probably an evolutionary explanation for this:
Those of us whose ancestors, in the cavemen era, have genes that prompted them to sleep during rain and thunderstorm probably survived better than those cavemen who went out to play/hunt in the rain. For one, the danger of slipping and bashing your brains out is lower when you are safe and dry in the cave, secondly, the risk of getting struck by lightning is infinitely lower too.
As a result of natural selection, those without the genes of sleeping-during-thunderstorms are gradually weeded out of the human species, removed by the lightnings (and in some special cases, the thunder).
So whaddaya know, the sleeping-when-raining syndrome has its uses after all. For those of you who, and whom up to this point has been protesting vehemently, dont have this urge to sleep when raining, there is only ONE explanation, and ONE word of advice from me:
You, and your ancestors, have been lucky. Very lucky.
Advice: You wouldnt be lucky for long; better develop that gene, fast.
(Incidentally, I am not one of those who felt the urge to sleep when raining; not much anyway, since I prefer to be awake to appreciate the rain.)
"Wait a minute," some of you cunning readers would exclaim, "your dad has this gene, yet you claim not to have this gene; what the hell are you talking about?"
Simple: my mum dont have this gene. duh.
Those of us whose ancestors, in the cavemen era, have genes that prompted them to sleep during rain and thunderstorm probably survived better than those cavemen who went out to play/hunt in the rain. For one, the danger of slipping and bashing your brains out is lower when you are safe and dry in the cave, secondly, the risk of getting struck by lightning is infinitely lower too.
As a result of natural selection, those without the genes of sleeping-during-thunderstorms are gradually weeded out of the human species, removed by the lightnings (and in some special cases, the thunder).
So whaddaya know, the sleeping-when-raining syndrome has its uses after all. For those of you who, and whom up to this point has been protesting vehemently, dont have this urge to sleep when raining, there is only ONE explanation, and ONE word of advice from me:
You, and your ancestors, have been lucky. Very lucky.
Advice: You wouldnt be lucky for long; better develop that gene, fast.
(Incidentally, I am not one of those who felt the urge to sleep when raining; not much anyway, since I prefer to be awake to appreciate the rain.)
"Wait a minute," some of you cunning readers would exclaim, "your dad has this gene, yet you claim not to have this gene; what the hell are you talking about?"
Simple: my mum dont have this gene. duh.
Monday, April 17, 2006
an answer
As I looked out over the rolling hills (not many of them, but still there),
over the lush green treetops, into the blue yonder,
with the heavy mist hanging between here and there, and the distant rain beyond sight,
inhaling the crisp, fresh air that ran through me like a sudden breeze;
I wondered: who am I sharing this world with;
I wondered: if the silence that returned, is just the answer.
over the lush green treetops, into the blue yonder,
with the heavy mist hanging between here and there, and the distant rain beyond sight,
inhaling the crisp, fresh air that ran through me like a sudden breeze;
I wondered: who am I sharing this world with;
I wondered: if the silence that returned, is just the answer.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
happiness
It's weird: whats the meaning of life? Why are we born if we are to die eventually? So that we can live our lives to the fullest?
But who are we before we are born? Who are we after our death? Who determines that person that is me is to be born and to live my life to the fullest? If I werent born, it wouldnt have made a difference if I led my life to the fullest rite?
And what difference does it make anyway, to lead my life to the fullest? Who's to tell the difference? For whom does it matter? To myself? But I will be gone after I am dead, poof, nothing more. It doesnt matter a whit to me anymore if I had led a full life - not if I am not even there to be matter-ed to.
To other people? Why should it matter to other people that I lead a full life? Most people cant be bothered enough with other people to care. Other people's affairs are like stories on the newspapers: the stories hurt you when they challenge your own affairs and mortality, but other than that, they are just another story in the wind.
Perhaps we are to contribute to the universal good, make everyone better off using my own life. But why should I care? When I am dead, I certainly cant care about that, and most people certainly wouldnt care that I contributed, other than token appreciation. Even if they do care, I wouldnt be there to care about whether they cared or not - it matters not to me when I am dead.
For that matter, why do we think that a good life is a life thats full? Full of what? It can never be full of happiness, nor full of accomplishments. Does accomplishments amount to happiness? Do we even care about happiness? Why should we?
If making ourselves happy is the ultimate goal, why cant we just eat and drink and have sex all day, for the rest of our lives? Probably because we need money to do that, so does that mean we are slogging our lives away just to achieve these goals: eat, drink, and have sex?
Why does it matter anyway?
But who are we before we are born? Who are we after our death? Who determines that person that is me is to be born and to live my life to the fullest? If I werent born, it wouldnt have made a difference if I led my life to the fullest rite?
And what difference does it make anyway, to lead my life to the fullest? Who's to tell the difference? For whom does it matter? To myself? But I will be gone after I am dead, poof, nothing more. It doesnt matter a whit to me anymore if I had led a full life - not if I am not even there to be matter-ed to.
To other people? Why should it matter to other people that I lead a full life? Most people cant be bothered enough with other people to care. Other people's affairs are like stories on the newspapers: the stories hurt you when they challenge your own affairs and mortality, but other than that, they are just another story in the wind.
Perhaps we are to contribute to the universal good, make everyone better off using my own life. But why should I care? When I am dead, I certainly cant care about that, and most people certainly wouldnt care that I contributed, other than token appreciation. Even if they do care, I wouldnt be there to care about whether they cared or not - it matters not to me when I am dead.
For that matter, why do we think that a good life is a life thats full? Full of what? It can never be full of happiness, nor full of accomplishments. Does accomplishments amount to happiness? Do we even care about happiness? Why should we?
If making ourselves happy is the ultimate goal, why cant we just eat and drink and have sex all day, for the rest of our lives? Probably because we need money to do that, so does that mean we are slogging our lives away just to achieve these goals: eat, drink, and have sex?
Why does it matter anyway?
Thursday, April 13, 2006
helping?
Today when i was going to school, via Clementi Interchange, from the bus I saw a blind man with a stick milling about the interchange looking lost. When I alighted, he was still wandering around, so I approached him and offered to bring him to where he wants to go.
He said he needs to go to the MRT, so I held his hand and guided him there. On the way he asked me if I am working, and have I eaten my lunch. I replied politely in the negative to both.
When we reached the MRT, he told me that he lives in Clementi, that he had no business here (I assume he is talking about selling tissues etc.) and so he is going over to Jurong Point to have lunch and try his luck there. Then he asked me if I have some change, in Hokkien. (to my surprise, I found myself able to converse pretty well in Hokkien.)
So I was pondering if I should give him some money, then he asked again if I have 2 dollar coins. Then I said yea, and looking thru my wallet, I found a 2 dollar note and gave him that. Then I wanted to guide him up the escalator to the MRT, but he declined, saying that I am rushing for time (which I didnt say), and that he would ask another person around for help.
So okay, I left at that point. Then the aunty at the newspaper stall nearby who saw everything, told me in Hokkien:
"That guy is a conman."
"He can see, not blind."
"His father is very rich loh, a businessman who drives a Mercedes."
"His sisters also very rich one."
"He always take a cab, and wear loud orange clothes with girls in his arms." (not sure if I caught this properly, cos my Hokkien is after all, not very good)
"A lot of conmen in Clementi."
ahh... nvm loh, 2 dollar nia.
"2 dollar also alot loh. When you hungry then you short of 2 dollars, then you will know that."
That's true.
So I was wondering: who to believe? Probably the aunty, then it would mean I was cheated. But does that mean we should be cautious of helping blind/handicapped people? Maybe.
What's the moral of the story? There is no moral of the story; morals are for fiction. Reality has too many grey areas to draw any substantial morals from it. Just be cautious bah. If you ask me, maybe what I learnt is that helping people is ok, but when they ask you for money.... depends on the situation loh.
He said he needs to go to the MRT, so I held his hand and guided him there. On the way he asked me if I am working, and have I eaten my lunch. I replied politely in the negative to both.
When we reached the MRT, he told me that he lives in Clementi, that he had no business here (I assume he is talking about selling tissues etc.) and so he is going over to Jurong Point to have lunch and try his luck there. Then he asked me if I have some change, in Hokkien. (to my surprise, I found myself able to converse pretty well in Hokkien.)
So I was pondering if I should give him some money, then he asked again if I have 2 dollar coins. Then I said yea, and looking thru my wallet, I found a 2 dollar note and gave him that. Then I wanted to guide him up the escalator to the MRT, but he declined, saying that I am rushing for time (which I didnt say), and that he would ask another person around for help.
So okay, I left at that point. Then the aunty at the newspaper stall nearby who saw everything, told me in Hokkien:
"That guy is a conman."
"He can see, not blind."
"His father is very rich loh, a businessman who drives a Mercedes."
"His sisters also very rich one."
"He always take a cab, and wear loud orange clothes with girls in his arms." (not sure if I caught this properly, cos my Hokkien is after all, not very good)
"A lot of conmen in Clementi."
ahh... nvm loh, 2 dollar nia.
"2 dollar also alot loh. When you hungry then you short of 2 dollars, then you will know that."
That's true.
So I was wondering: who to believe? Probably the aunty, then it would mean I was cheated. But does that mean we should be cautious of helping blind/handicapped people? Maybe.
What's the moral of the story? There is no moral of the story; morals are for fiction. Reality has too many grey areas to draw any substantial morals from it. Just be cautious bah. If you ask me, maybe what I learnt is that helping people is ok, but when they ask you for money.... depends on the situation loh.
Monday, April 10, 2006
《斷線》
-万芳- 作詞：易家揚 作曲：陳小霞
風箏不該有名字 卒子不該過河
流浪不該有什麼方向
旅途中 寶貝你別回頭
童年不該長大 姑娘不該年老
鄰居不該在那年搬走
落淚時 情人你別掉頭
走過的路是一串深淺分明的腳印
寄出的信是一張收不回的心情
不知去向的是忘了昨天的我
愛過的是斷了線的你
This song floats into my mind every now and then. It just sounds particularly sad to me, so when the mood is in the air, I would listen to this song. I must clarify that it is not that the song lyrics speaks to whatever situation I am in now; in any case, it is a female singer, so how can it apply to me?
風箏不該有名字 卒子不該過河
流浪不該有什麼方向
旅途中 寶貝你別回頭
童年不該長大 姑娘不該年老
鄰居不該在那年搬走
落淚時 情人你別掉頭
走過的路是一串深淺分明的腳印
寄出的信是一張收不回的心情
不知去向的是忘了昨天的我
愛過的是斷了線的你
This song floats into my mind every now and then. It just sounds particularly sad to me, so when the mood is in the air, I would listen to this song. I must clarify that it is not that the song lyrics speaks to whatever situation I am in now; in any case, it is a female singer, so how can it apply to me?
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Ool
I would like to propose a new term, a new acronym actually.
Ool - standing for Out of Love. (NOT "out of luck", mind!)
You pronounce it like ooooohh, as in the "oooohh" in "ooooh ahhh". You frequently hear me saying that (if you never heard it before, ask me for a demonstration).
This term would apply to a lot of people, including, and not limited to:
people who have a queue number (you can get a queue number anytime you approach those super chio girls),
those who are in the waiting-lists,
those who are in the waiting-lists for the waiting-lists,
those who are freshly rejected,
those who are rejected-10years-ago-yet-feeling-it-like-yesterday,
those who are secretly in love with someone but no-money-to-buy-a-rose,
those who are secretly in love with someone but-humchee
those who just broke up,
those who broke-up-to-get-into-the-Ool-club,
those who are broken-up,
those who refuse to get into a relationship,
those who couldnt get into any relationship,
those who try to get into a relationship with trees, dogs, cats, stones etc.,
and so on...
Basically everyone who doesnt have a boyfriend/girlfriend gets included. (hey I just realised something: why issit called "boyfriend/girlfriend"? When we get older, dont we have "manfriend/womanfriend"? weird.)
This is a uber cool term - Ool. (Cool enough to make those people who are in relationships so jealous that they will kill to get out of it, and adopt the name Ool.)
Whats the point of this term you ask. Well... of cos there is a point, let me think about it, and I'll tell you when I remember the point. heh.
Ool - standing for Out of Love. (NOT "out of luck", mind!)
You pronounce it like ooooohh, as in the "oooohh" in "ooooh ahhh". You frequently hear me saying that (if you never heard it before, ask me for a demonstration).
This term would apply to a lot of people, including, and not limited to:
people who have a queue number (you can get a queue number anytime you approach those super chio girls),
those who are in the waiting-lists,
those who are in the waiting-lists for the waiting-lists,
those who are freshly rejected,
those who are rejected-10years-ago-yet-feeling-it-like-yesterday,
those who are secretly in love with someone but no-money-to-buy-a-rose,
those who are secretly in love with someone but-humchee
those who just broke up,
those who broke-up-to-get-into-the-Ool-club,
those who are broken-up,
those who refuse to get into a relationship,
those who couldnt get into any relationship,
those who try to get into a relationship with trees, dogs, cats, stones etc.,
and so on...
Basically everyone who doesnt have a boyfriend/girlfriend gets included. (hey I just realised something: why issit called "boyfriend/girlfriend"? When we get older, dont we have "manfriend/womanfriend"? weird.)
This is a uber cool term - Ool. (Cool enough to make those people who are in relationships so jealous that they will kill to get out of it, and adopt the name Ool.)
Whats the point of this term you ask. Well... of cos there is a point, let me think about it, and I'll tell you when I remember the point. heh.
choice
I am a lucky bastard, and I know it.... I just hope I dont live to regret my decisions. There are always so many paths in life that leads to goodness-knows-where, and for good or for worse, we have to choose.
It's more like a kind of game, a whimsical step, an unknown fancy - a choice made.
Even if you chose not to choose, that too is a choice - one I am not prepared to make; many a times hesitation has led me down the wrong road.
I just hope I am not making a mistake - and I dont live to regret it. >.<
It's more like a kind of game, a whimsical step, an unknown fancy - a choice made.
Even if you chose not to choose, that too is a choice - one I am not prepared to make; many a times hesitation has led me down the wrong road.
I just hope I am not making a mistake - and I dont live to regret it. >.<
Saturday, April 08, 2006
exams
Ah ahH AHH... This sem forgot to start exams preparation yet. omg. 2 more weeks...
Same rule again, as is always. 10pm is the limit.
Same rule again, as is always. 10pm is the limit.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Unicorn
Just finished my essay which is due on 6th apr, 12midnight.... braindead now. Chanced upon a short story while doing research on the paper, had no idea what relevance the story have to anything at all... but I'll just transpose it here, since its funny.
A man finds a unicorn browsing among the tulips in his garden. He informs his wife, who, remarking with scorn that the unicorn is a mythical beast, summons the police and a psychiatrist, to have him certified. She tells them what he said and they asked him to confirm it. 'Of course not,' he replies, 'the unicorn is a mythical beast.' So they shut her up in an institution and the man lives happily ever after.
This story was taken from Martin Hollis' article "The social destruction of reality", who in turn took it from James Thurber's Fables for Our Time.
Dont ask me what the moral of the story is... I didnt bother to read. Its not important. I just thought it interesting.
A man finds a unicorn browsing among the tulips in his garden. He informs his wife, who, remarking with scorn that the unicorn is a mythical beast, summons the police and a psychiatrist, to have him certified. She tells them what he said and they asked him to confirm it. 'Of course not,' he replies, 'the unicorn is a mythical beast.' So they shut her up in an institution and the man lives happily ever after.
This story was taken from Martin Hollis' article "The social destruction of reality", who in turn took it from James Thurber's Fables for Our Time.
Dont ask me what the moral of the story is... I didnt bother to read. Its not important. I just thought it interesting.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Habit
I have a habit of fingering my chin lately, especially when I am thinking. It's not exactly a pretty habit to have: for one, I look like one of those lewd guys lusting after gals while having lewd thoughts. Also, it doesnt help at all to notice myself fingering my chin while really looking at girls. =p
Of course you shouldnt be mistaken. No one will actually come out and admit that he is lewd and having lewd thoughts while lustily looking at girls. Certainly clement is not one who will admit to that. It is just a habit that I've formed, and I noticed it especially when I caught myself accidentally glancing at girls. It is psychological ya? You only notice things when you dont do them. heh
So yah, I finger my chin while thinking, and accidentally glancing at girls. Which isnt very good for me, since I appear lewd despite my innocent and pure heart.
Henceforth, I have decided to develop another habit to override the existing one. Some posture suitable for thinking, and definitely not to be mistaken for lusting after girls when I am actually accidentally glancing at them. This would require more thinking, but I got a rough idea of what might be good... somewhere along the lines of resting my head on the tips of my fingers while looking down. That would convey the impression that I am hard at thinking.
And it would be cool~
Of course you shouldnt be mistaken. No one will actually come out and admit that he is lewd and having lewd thoughts while lustily looking at girls. Certainly clement is not one who will admit to that. It is just a habit that I've formed, and I noticed it especially when I caught myself accidentally glancing at girls. It is psychological ya? You only notice things when you dont do them. heh
So yah, I finger my chin while thinking, and accidentally glancing at girls. Which isnt very good for me, since I appear lewd despite my innocent and pure heart.
Henceforth, I have decided to develop another habit to override the existing one. Some posture suitable for thinking, and definitely not to be mistaken for lusting after girls when I am actually accidentally glancing at them. This would require more thinking, but I got a rough idea of what might be good... somewhere along the lines of resting my head on the tips of my fingers while looking down. That would convey the impression that I am hard at thinking.
And it would be cool~
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Understanding
For so long we worry about not understanding other people, that we didn't see how hard it is to even understand ourselves.
Worse, if we couldnt even understand ourselves, how can we hope to adequately understand other people when they couldn't even understand themselves.
We are just milling, and bumping about, in a myriad of confused meanings we created ourselves.
Worse, if we couldnt even understand ourselves, how can we hope to adequately understand other people when they couldn't even understand themselves.
We are just milling, and bumping about, in a myriad of confused meanings we created ourselves.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
A really simple intro to Philosophy
Let's see. This is going to be very simple, without any technical terms, and is not boring at all. =p Just read and nod along the way, and try to see if you can disagree AT ALL, cos the conclusion isnt anything that you are going to like AT ALL. wahaha.
Everything has a cause.
Agree? Agree? Dont understand what I mean by the above statement? Omg, its so simple, everything has a cause la! If you find a book lying on the ground, you will think "someone caused it to fall on the ground" or "the curtains knocked it over". Or one day you find your leg inflicted with a bad sore, you wouldnt go thinking "nothing caused the sore. It just happened." You think that something must have caused it, even if you dont know what that something is. Even if that something might be God. "God caused it." In any case, everything has a cause.
Alright, since everyone is agreed that everything has a cause, let's proceed.
Every action I/you/everyone do now has a cause.
Well.. since you agreed to the previous one, I dont see how you can fail to agree to this. Why did your eyeballs moved? Cos you caused it to move la!
So we are agreed once again.
Then... because everything has a cause, everything that happened now couldnt have possibly been otherwise.
For event A to be different, event B and event C which caused it must have been different. But Event B and C couldnt have been different if event D and E which causes them have not been different... ad infinitum.
My voluntary actions are mostly caused by my existing desires.
Why did you lift your hand? Cos you desire to lift it loh. No trick here, dont bother resisting this. If someone raised your hand against your will, it will not be caused by your existing desires, but then its not voluntary actions anyway.
My existing desires are caused by my existing preferences.
Ok now wait a minute. What do you mean by "caused by existing preferences"? Can preferences cause anything? But stop! you are thinking too far. Simply put, why do you choose to like that flavor of icecream? Cos you have an innate preference for this flavor of icecream. Thats why you desire it. The preferences caused your desires.
Some people like to deny preferences caused their desires. They think their desires are purely that. They are born with the full set of desires. Well ok, let us grant this too. No problem at all!
Something caused me to have my existing desires/preferences. That something is not me.
Well, do you think you can choose your desires? or preferences? In any case, something caused it. You didnt choose it, therefore something that is not you must have chosen it. It may be your genes, it may be God, it may be pure chance. In any case, you didnt choose to have your existing preferences/desires, anymore than you choose to be pretty or ugly.
Ok we can pause here and recap. Lets take a look at the causal chain. (caused is represented by --->)
Something ---> desires/preferences ---> voluntary actions
ok now what the hell is going on here? Something caused me to produce actions (granted), and that something is desires (granted). BUT what caused my desires? ITS NOT ME! Something caused me to have desires to produce some actions in me!
AM I FREE? What is freedom? To produce actions that are voluntary. But if my desires are a result of some previous causes over which I have no control, how can I be considered free? A scientist can plausibly cause me to have certain desires by stimulating some parts of my brain. That isn't free. Neither is it free that I have my existing desires from birth. I didnt choose them, did you?
EVERYTHING has a cause. Something caused my desires to be exactly as they are now, and something caused that something, and something caused that something that caused that something. It goes back in an infinite chain of events, and everything couldnt possibly have happened otherwise. This means the Big Bang caused me to type certain alphabets in certain order according to certain desires I have, which are entirely beyond my control!
You are not free la!
Everything has a cause.
Agree? Agree? Dont understand what I mean by the above statement? Omg, its so simple, everything has a cause la! If you find a book lying on the ground, you will think "someone caused it to fall on the ground" or "the curtains knocked it over". Or one day you find your leg inflicted with a bad sore, you wouldnt go thinking "nothing caused the sore. It just happened." You think that something must have caused it, even if you dont know what that something is. Even if that something might be God. "God caused it." In any case, everything has a cause.
Alright, since everyone is agreed that everything has a cause, let's proceed.
Every action I/you/everyone do now has a cause.
Well.. since you agreed to the previous one, I dont see how you can fail to agree to this. Why did your eyeballs moved? Cos you caused it to move la!
So we are agreed once again.
Then... because everything has a cause, everything that happened now couldnt have possibly been otherwise.
For event A to be different, event B and event C which caused it must have been different. But Event B and C couldnt have been different if event D and E which causes them have not been different... ad infinitum.
My voluntary actions are mostly caused by my existing desires.
Why did you lift your hand? Cos you desire to lift it loh. No trick here, dont bother resisting this. If someone raised your hand against your will, it will not be caused by your existing desires, but then its not voluntary actions anyway.
My existing desires are caused by my existing preferences.
Ok now wait a minute. What do you mean by "caused by existing preferences"? Can preferences cause anything? But stop! you are thinking too far. Simply put, why do you choose to like that flavor of icecream? Cos you have an innate preference for this flavor of icecream. Thats why you desire it. The preferences caused your desires.
Some people like to deny preferences caused their desires. They think their desires are purely that. They are born with the full set of desires. Well ok, let us grant this too. No problem at all!
Something caused me to have my existing desires/preferences. That something is not me.
Well, do you think you can choose your desires? or preferences? In any case, something caused it. You didnt choose it, therefore something that is not you must have chosen it. It may be your genes, it may be God, it may be pure chance. In any case, you didnt choose to have your existing preferences/desires, anymore than you choose to be pretty or ugly.
Ok we can pause here and recap. Lets take a look at the causal chain. (caused is represented by --->)
Something ---> desires/preferences ---> voluntary actions
ok now what the hell is going on here? Something caused me to produce actions (granted), and that something is desires (granted). BUT what caused my desires? ITS NOT ME! Something caused me to have desires to produce some actions in me!
AM I FREE? What is freedom? To produce actions that are voluntary. But if my desires are a result of some previous causes over which I have no control, how can I be considered free? A scientist can plausibly cause me to have certain desires by stimulating some parts of my brain. That isn't free. Neither is it free that I have my existing desires from birth. I didnt choose them, did you?
EVERYTHING has a cause. Something caused my desires to be exactly as they are now, and something caused that something, and something caused that something that caused that something. It goes back in an infinite chain of events, and everything couldnt possibly have happened otherwise. This means the Big Bang caused me to type certain alphabets in certain order according to certain desires I have, which are entirely beyond my control!
You are not free la!
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Travelling
You know, I have always wanted to be a journalist. (some people know this)
Some people also know what my main ambition is, but I am not stating it here for fear of being seen as overly-ambitious/bu zhi liang li (damn, i cant seem to find the english equivalent of this phrase, anyone?)
But the reason why I wanted to be a journalist is not because I love to write; writing is only to facilitate the job. The real reason is: I want to travel! I want to experience so many things, and see so many different places! I want to see how other cultures/other people lead their lives, their philosophies, their attitudes, their expressions, their languages, their body languages, their beliefs! I want to see the natural wonders in the world! The untainted works of nature, the possibility of previously undiscovered sights!
I dont want to lead my life out on this tiny island, milling about my own tiny realm and sphere of beliefs. I want to know more! I want to expand my ways of thinking, jump out of my constrained space of concepts!
The world is like a treasure trove! It is a playground!
Some people also know what my main ambition is, but I am not stating it here for fear of being seen as overly-ambitious/bu zhi liang li (damn, i cant seem to find the english equivalent of this phrase, anyone?)
But the reason why I wanted to be a journalist is not because I love to write; writing is only to facilitate the job. The real reason is: I want to travel! I want to experience so many things, and see so many different places! I want to see how other cultures/other people lead their lives, their philosophies, their attitudes, their expressions, their languages, their body languages, their beliefs! I want to see the natural wonders in the world! The untainted works of nature, the possibility of previously undiscovered sights!
I dont want to lead my life out on this tiny island, milling about my own tiny realm and sphere of beliefs. I want to know more! I want to expand my ways of thinking, jump out of my constrained space of concepts!
The world is like a treasure trove! It is a playground!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Television Psychology
There are probably many, many, many reasons why we love to watch television, but here's one possible factor from a psychological point of view.
We love to watch the raw display of emotions, readily garnered from the actors' (usually much exaggerated) expressions and actions.
Deep down inside, most of us probably secretly, or sub-consciously, wish that we could express our delicate emotions and feelings better; that a change of mood, or a sudden offense taken, or slight jump of heart, would be readily interpreted and understood, even if we consciously strive to conceal these feelings.
Not only from our own perspectives, but we would also like to interpret the people around us better, and faithfully to their own emotions. All of us have been accustomed to putting on masks around other people, that it is no longer a mere suspicion that others are doing the exact same thing. Expecially for those we are close to, we long to penetrate their masks, and access their inner feelings directly, to communicate heart-to-heart with them. Friendship is not so much as exposing your inner feelings by taking off your masks, but rather being read despite your masks.
And there is no better avenue for watching your secret desires enacted out: on television. The TV media is an excellent pool of raw emotions, where a slight slip of the mood is readily expressed as a frown, or a leap of heart by a laughing twinkle in the eye of a veteran actor. Expressions are exaggerated, and outwardly displayed; there are no hidden emotions that the co-actors cannot see, or even if they could not, we as audience would be able to. The actors have a deep "inner voice" that is worn on their faces and bodies. They are all you see, they are everything you can read from them, and they are the "true feelings" that the director wants to convey.
Watching television is the ultimate fantasy for people who sought to penetrate other people's inner self. As well as for people who always feel misunderstood, misinterpreted, or treated as too superficial. We watch television to get the sense of achievement of successfully interpreting other people's emotions, even hopefully to learn something from it. We watch television as a catharsis, observing actors display raw emotions which we didnt dare show, as a secret fulfillment to the desire to be successfully, and faithfully interpreted.
This is probably why good/bad acting is so important for the success of a drama/movie. It is even more crucial then a good storyline. Well, maybe the storyline is just as crucial anyway; without good acting, any movie is doomed to fail, just as a movie with good acting but bad plot is likely to flop as well.
We love to watch the raw display of emotions, readily garnered from the actors' (usually much exaggerated) expressions and actions.
Deep down inside, most of us probably secretly, or sub-consciously, wish that we could express our delicate emotions and feelings better; that a change of mood, or a sudden offense taken, or slight jump of heart, would be readily interpreted and understood, even if we consciously strive to conceal these feelings.
Not only from our own perspectives, but we would also like to interpret the people around us better, and faithfully to their own emotions. All of us have been accustomed to putting on masks around other people, that it is no longer a mere suspicion that others are doing the exact same thing. Expecially for those we are close to, we long to penetrate their masks, and access their inner feelings directly, to communicate heart-to-heart with them. Friendship is not so much as exposing your inner feelings by taking off your masks, but rather being read despite your masks.
And there is no better avenue for watching your secret desires enacted out: on television. The TV media is an excellent pool of raw emotions, where a slight slip of the mood is readily expressed as a frown, or a leap of heart by a laughing twinkle in the eye of a veteran actor. Expressions are exaggerated, and outwardly displayed; there are no hidden emotions that the co-actors cannot see, or even if they could not, we as audience would be able to. The actors have a deep "inner voice" that is worn on their faces and bodies. They are all you see, they are everything you can read from them, and they are the "true feelings" that the director wants to convey.
Watching television is the ultimate fantasy for people who sought to penetrate other people's inner self. As well as for people who always feel misunderstood, misinterpreted, or treated as too superficial. We watch television to get the sense of achievement of successfully interpreting other people's emotions, even hopefully to learn something from it. We watch television as a catharsis, observing actors display raw emotions which we didnt dare show, as a secret fulfillment to the desire to be successfully, and faithfully interpreted.
This is probably why good/bad acting is so important for the success of a drama/movie. It is even more crucial then a good storyline. Well, maybe the storyline is just as crucial anyway; without good acting, any movie is doomed to fail, just as a movie with good acting but bad plot is likely to flop as well.
'presence'
You know how you always wish that the sweating idiots on the bus or mrt don't press so close against you, how when you are walking on the tiny pathways, you wish the other passers-by don't walk so close in front or behind you, or worse, beside you? Well, you are secretly wishing you have more 'presence', the thing to have to automatically repel strangers (sometimes even friends, but thats just unfortunate). And here's the ultimate guide to having more of this mystical 'presence'.
1. Of course, one immediately obvious way to achieve the 'presence' overnight is to have body odor. Stop bathing for 3-4 days, and you will find your body 'presence' a powerful thing for others to contend with. People will be walking, and standing, clear of you. What's more, the effect is accumulative; the longer you stay away from the bath, the larger your "clearance area" is.
Level of effectiveness:
2. Dress skimpily. Works wonder for women. The lesser you dress, the larger your clearance area will be, contrary to popular opinion. (The popular opinion is that lecherous men would try to cuddle up to you.) This is because in keeping these skimpily dressed women at more than arm's length away, it affords the men a greater and more "comprehensive" view, from head to top. You can't see much if you are right next to her, seriously. (Well, unless you are trying to peep down some particularly sinful boundaries.)
Level of effectiveness:
For men, it works too, just not as well as it would work for women. The reasons it works are entirely different too. Particularly if its some tight-skin clothing, and butt hugging tiny jeans. Dose yourself with a cloying amount of cologne, perfume etc, and you will find yourself walking free of people, particularly men (who are really the ones we want to avoid in the first place).
Level of effectiveness:
3. Intermingled with all the crap that clement usually produce (I dont mean literally), here is one which will actually work. Eye contact bespeaks a confidence that conveys your 'presence' in huge quantities. Be bold and look at everyone in the eye, holding your gaze until they look away, or walk away.
Danger with this method (only for pretty girls and skinny guys): If you are too pretty, your bold gaze might be misinterpreted as leading on (men are too dumb to tell the difference when it comes to pretty girls), and instead of scaring people away, you will be attracting loads of suitors. If you are too skinny, and you are a guy of course, a bold gaze might be seen as challenging, potentially turning your everyday commute into a bloody fight to work/school. (If you are not skinny, then your gaze would be assuredly interpreted as friendly.)
Level of effectiveness:
4. Carry a chopper around with you. Preferably the huge, gleaming type. Swing it about casually from time to time, in large arcs with random strokes. For best results, use [sponsors click here to insert your brand name] brand of chopper.
Level of effectiveness:
1. Of course, one immediately obvious way to achieve the 'presence' overnight is to have body odor. Stop bathing for 3-4 days, and you will find your body 'presence' a powerful thing for others to contend with. People will be walking, and standing, clear of you. What's more, the effect is accumulative; the longer you stay away from the bath, the larger your "clearance area" is.
Level of effectiveness:
2. Dress skimpily. Works wonder for women. The lesser you dress, the larger your clearance area will be, contrary to popular opinion. (The popular opinion is that lecherous men would try to cuddle up to you.) This is because in keeping these skimpily dressed women at more than arm's length away, it affords the men a greater and more "comprehensive" view, from head to top. You can't see much if you are right next to her, seriously. (Well, unless you are trying to peep down some particularly sinful boundaries.)
Level of effectiveness:
For men, it works too, just not as well as it would work for women. The reasons it works are entirely different too. Particularly if its some tight-skin clothing, and butt hugging tiny jeans. Dose yourself with a cloying amount of cologne, perfume etc, and you will find yourself walking free of people, particularly men (who are really the ones we want to avoid in the first place).
Level of effectiveness:
3. Intermingled with all the crap that clement usually produce (I dont mean literally), here is one which will actually work. Eye contact bespeaks a confidence that conveys your 'presence' in huge quantities. Be bold and look at everyone in the eye, holding your gaze until they look away, or walk away.
Danger with this method (only for pretty girls and skinny guys): If you are too pretty, your bold gaze might be misinterpreted as leading on (men are too dumb to tell the difference when it comes to pretty girls), and instead of scaring people away, you will be attracting loads of suitors. If you are too skinny, and you are a guy of course, a bold gaze might be seen as challenging, potentially turning your everyday commute into a bloody fight to work/school. (If you are not skinny, then your gaze would be assuredly interpreted as friendly.)
Level of effectiveness:
4. Carry a chopper around with you. Preferably the huge, gleaming type. Swing it about casually from time to time, in large arcs with random strokes. For best results, use [sponsors click here to insert your brand name] brand of chopper.
Level of effectiveness:
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Some days
"You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help." - Calvin (Bill Waterson)
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Moustache
It is probably true that Singaporean men, or rather Chinese men in general, do not grow moustache well.
Beside the fact that there is a saying thats something like "A chinese man with a moustache; a rat in a bush," there is also the fact that chinese probably dont have strong facial hair genes. A long thin beard maybe, but never a healthy robust moustache.
There is probably an evolutionary explanation behind this. European men have moustaches. Chinese men dont. What is the reason?
It has something to do with what is now referred to as "Snot poisoning," a fairly prevalent condition that infects European men in the Medieval times. Because of the damp weather conditions, particularly in the English Isle, it is inevitable that a fair amount of mucus is produced daily, in huge measurable amounts. And because hygiene at that time was never a problem, in the sense that it never ever occured to these horse-riding, busy warring knights of the Medieval, they never bothered to blow their noses before eating.
A direct result of which, the snot from their dripping noses flavored their largely tasteless food, though not without unhealthy consequences. In the long run, those men who do not have a bushy moustache, which acts as a safety net for the snot, gradually were weeded out of the European Continent, as we now know, snot is in fact rather unhealthy to say the least.
For the chinese, no such thing happened to them, resulting in the poor facial hair genes being transmitted strongly from generations to generations.
Now you know. A whole load of bullshit.
Beside the fact that there is a saying thats something like "A chinese man with a moustache; a rat in a bush," there is also the fact that chinese probably dont have strong facial hair genes. A long thin beard maybe, but never a healthy robust moustache.
There is probably an evolutionary explanation behind this. European men have moustaches. Chinese men dont. What is the reason?
It has something to do with what is now referred to as "Snot poisoning," a fairly prevalent condition that infects European men in the Medieval times. Because of the damp weather conditions, particularly in the English Isle, it is inevitable that a fair amount of mucus is produced daily, in huge measurable amounts. And because hygiene at that time was never a problem, in the sense that it never ever occured to these horse-riding, busy warring knights of the Medieval, they never bothered to blow their noses before eating.
A direct result of which, the snot from their dripping noses flavored their largely tasteless food, though not without unhealthy consequences. In the long run, those men who do not have a bushy moustache, which acts as a safety net for the snot, gradually were weeded out of the European Continent, as we now know, snot is in fact rather unhealthy to say the least.
For the chinese, no such thing happened to them, resulting in the poor facial hair genes being transmitted strongly from generations to generations.
Now you know. A whole load of bullshit.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
birds
Mary Oliver called one of their cousins "chinese philosophers", and upon chancing them in school today, I find that namesake pretty cute and apt.
They are the little stork-like white birds that are always standing around in NUS, what are they called? Egrets? Or storks? I dont know, but anyway it doesnt matter. One of them was standing on the pavement, head high, body erect, wings folded on his back, legs spread apart. Really look like one of the chinese philosophers we always see in drawings! hahaa..
I wonder what they do all day long: maybe they just fly around, find a place to land and wander about, looking for food and water, strutting about green shades and overlooking small rises.
I wouldnt mind being one of them... but for 2 reasons: 1. Humans have longer lifespans. 2. The girl I like happens to be a human, I think.
Though it must be said, the pull of being a birdbrain is still pretty strong.
They are the little stork-like white birds that are always standing around in NUS, what are they called? Egrets? Or storks? I dont know, but anyway it doesnt matter. One of them was standing on the pavement, head high, body erect, wings folded on his back, legs spread apart. Really look like one of the chinese philosophers we always see in drawings! hahaa..
I wonder what they do all day long: maybe they just fly around, find a place to land and wander about, looking for food and water, strutting about green shades and overlooking small rises.
I wouldnt mind being one of them... but for 2 reasons: 1. Humans have longer lifespans. 2. The girl I like happens to be a human, I think.
Though it must be said, the pull of being a birdbrain is still pretty strong.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
weird
We have always looked out of our own eyes, for so long, that it is always a rude shock to see yourself in the mirror.
What is the image of yourself in your mind? Is it the man/woman in the mirror? Or is it the twin circles which form the limits of your vision? Which is the real you?
Is the person in the mirror really me? Why does it feel as though the face can be entirely different?
What about your name? What is your real name? Is it the name which you will respond to? Dont you feel a little weird when someone calls your name? Like he didnt really call you, but called something which you will respond to.
Try calling your own name? Is it weird? Does it feel like you are calling yourself? Do you feel like you tugged at something within yourself, or does it seem entirely alien?
What if your name isnt what your present name is? Would you be a different person?
Who are you? What is your real name? Do we have a real name? Do we need a real name? Or do we just need a signal to respond to?
Where is the you within you?
What is the image of yourself in your mind? Is it the man/woman in the mirror? Or is it the twin circles which form the limits of your vision? Which is the real you?
Is the person in the mirror really me? Why does it feel as though the face can be entirely different?
What about your name? What is your real name? Is it the name which you will respond to? Dont you feel a little weird when someone calls your name? Like he didnt really call you, but called something which you will respond to.
Try calling your own name? Is it weird? Does it feel like you are calling yourself? Do you feel like you tugged at something within yourself, or does it seem entirely alien?
What if your name isnt what your present name is? Would you be a different person?
Who are you? What is your real name? Do we have a real name? Do we need a real name? Or do we just need a signal to respond to?
Where is the you within you?
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Romanticism
A couple of people has asked me from time to time: don't I feel weird to be writing about my feelings and personal affairs in my blog?
They feel embarrassed for me, or maybe embarrassed of me. Like an exhibitionist in words. But a romantic soul is not an exhibitionist.
And before you conjure up in your mind dim lightings, hazy fog and candlelight dinners in connection with the word "romantic", let me tell you what it really means to be romantic.
The romantic movement started off in the late 18th century Europe, celebrating the simplicity of love, and not only interpersonal love, but also love for nature, love for simple things.
Above all, it places an importance in self-expression, the frank communication of feelings, the unbridled, and proud celebration of emotions, be it good or bad.
We are humans, full of emotions that we should be proud of. When you are comfortable with yourself, you are comfortable with having all these myriads of feelings that succeed one another continuously in an endless flux.
I am who I am, and I don't pretend to be not. Love what you love, no apologies.
Be true to yourself and your feelings.
They feel embarrassed for me, or maybe embarrassed of me. Like an exhibitionist in words. But a romantic soul is not an exhibitionist.
And before you conjure up in your mind dim lightings, hazy fog and candlelight dinners in connection with the word "romantic", let me tell you what it really means to be romantic.
The romantic movement started off in the late 18th century Europe, celebrating the simplicity of love, and not only interpersonal love, but also love for nature, love for simple things.
Above all, it places an importance in self-expression, the frank communication of feelings, the unbridled, and proud celebration of emotions, be it good or bad.
We are humans, full of emotions that we should be proud of. When you are comfortable with yourself, you are comfortable with having all these myriads of feelings that succeed one another continuously in an endless flux.
I am who I am, and I don't pretend to be not. Love what you love, no apologies.
Be true to yourself and your feelings.
Music
It is like music.
Over time, you identify those songs which you like a lot;
they keep adding up: sometimes a new song just struck a nameless chord in you
and it was instant love.
Eventually it got to the point that you have to listen to them wherever you go
so you burned them into a compilation of favourite songs,
or into your mp3 player, ipod.
And you play it ad infinitum
the same songs over and over again.
Then you realised,
that actually
amongst these songs
there are only 1 or 2 which you really love
from beginning to end.
Over time, you identify those songs which you like a lot;
they keep adding up: sometimes a new song just struck a nameless chord in you
and it was instant love.
Eventually it got to the point that you have to listen to them wherever you go
so you burned them into a compilation of favourite songs,
or into your mp3 player, ipod.
And you play it ad infinitum
the same songs over and over again.
Then you realised,
that actually
amongst these songs
there are only 1 or 2 which you really love
from beginning to end.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Sensitive
A man shouldn't be overly sensitive: it would be uncomfortable to stand on a rock which groans and mutters everytime you shift your weight.
It is ok for a woman to be overly-sensitive though.
Why?
What do you mean "why"?? Are you suggesting that we should stand on a woman??
It is ok for a woman to be overly-sensitive though.
Why?
What do you mean "why"?? Are you suggesting that we should stand on a woman??
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Heart
Today, as I was walking out of the Arts canteen, I felt my heart constrict suddenly and painfully, causing me to stumble and cough for breath.
And no, I am not speaking metaphorically (sheesh)... there really is a physical pain, like a hand griping my heart and giving it a thorough squeeze.
And no, I didnt see anything particularly that brought it on. I dont know why it suddenly hurts. Maybe its the sign of the onset of a heart disease.
And no, I am not speaking metaphorically (sheesh)... there really is a physical pain, like a hand griping my heart and giving it a thorough squeeze.
And no, I didnt see anything particularly that brought it on. I dont know why it suddenly hurts. Maybe its the sign of the onset of a heart disease.
Brilliance
No one other than you yourself can know exactly how much of that outward brilliance you have is due to luck. A chance statement, a random thought, a fortuitous turn which you never thought amount to anything.
No one, too, would know how much of that apparent simplicity in which you present your brilliance, is the result of how much untold hardwork and brain-wreaking formulations. They just see the end-products, the easily grasped fruits of your labor, and assumed whatever that sounds easy, must have been easy to begin with.
How then, we ask, can anyone reasonably claim to admire your brilliance.
No one, too, would know how much of that apparent simplicity in which you present your brilliance, is the result of how much untold hardwork and brain-wreaking formulations. They just see the end-products, the easily grasped fruits of your labor, and assumed whatever that sounds easy, must have been easy to begin with.
How then, we ask, can anyone reasonably claim to admire your brilliance.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Stupid Struggle
If we do not struggle with life, how do we know we are alive?
Just deleted the game which I have been playing for the past few months; its ruining my life, I cant stop playing it. While I am still roughly consistent in my readings, I can feel myself running a little lag already. So there, it is gone. Poof.
And why do I have to take 2 philosophy modules that I have absolutely no interest in in my last semester? Philosophy is supposed to be fun, not like these two modules. I hate them. Balancing them out is a philo of mind module, which is by far, the module I love most. But even then, its really kind of hard to say its "balanced out". You cant simply cancel the bad things out just because you have good things at the same time. The two modules are still there to irk you.
Just deleted the game which I have been playing for the past few months; its ruining my life, I cant stop playing it. While I am still roughly consistent in my readings, I can feel myself running a little lag already. So there, it is gone. Poof.
And why do I have to take 2 philosophy modules that I have absolutely no interest in in my last semester? Philosophy is supposed to be fun, not like these two modules. I hate them. Balancing them out is a philo of mind module, which is by far, the module I love most. But even then, its really kind of hard to say its "balanced out". You cant simply cancel the bad things out just because you have good things at the same time. The two modules are still there to irk you.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Torturous
Isn't it enough that I am suffering from one end of the problem already?
Why do I have to be on both ends at the same time?
Why torture me so?
Why do I have to be on both ends at the same time?
Why torture me so?
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Time
Time really flies, usually when you are not looking, and also when you are looking intently. With a whoosh, 20 odd years went past. Another whoosh, there goes another sem. In fact it never stopped whoosing, and damn it, there goes another day, another hour, another year! (Wait, the stupid clock is spoilt.)
Funny how we think that the hard times are the slowest periods, while the happy times are the fastest to go. I remember for my childhood, thats one of the slowest periods of my life. In fact, it is from P5 to P6 that is the slowest. I hated that time, and I barely survived through it unscathed.
For other periods of my life, they largely went unnoticed. Not to say I dont remember them, but compared to the darker periods, they are almost non-existent. Secondary school and Jc just trotted away at a steady pace.
Even NS swooshed by just like that. I am not one of those guys who looked back and say "well, I hated NS, but now that I am out of it, I am grateful for the experience." I hated it back then, and I hate it even now. I would be infinitely better off if I hadnt gone NS, and what I learnt there isnt so pretty that I find myself grateful for. Those who disagree obviously hadnt injured their backs in NS.
But Uni, now thats a different story. Frankly speaking, in year 1, I was pretty much a loner. That isnt to say I hated that period: I am a loner by nature (or rather, a loner because of the P5-P6 period, but thats another story). However, things can get pretty slow, mundane and draggy if you are a loner. That's one of the reasons why I joined the Arts camp in year 2 i guess. I wanted to join in year 1 already, but couldnt, since I was still in camp. NS ruins my life ya?
After the camp, uni life whooshed past another 2 years, and hey its already the last sem for me, not counting hons year of course. Somehow, the past 3 sems time just sprinted past, even though for most of it I had 5 days week, and insane timetable.
Then the last sem (this sem), time seems to creep. School doesnt hold that much appeal to me anymore. I used to look forward to going school everyday; I hated weekends and free days, hated times when I have to go home. Now I dread going to school, day after day... Something seems to be lost already.
Well, not that I lost the studying fervour. I still love what I do. Its just... school itself.
Funny how we think that the hard times are the slowest periods, while the happy times are the fastest to go. I remember for my childhood, thats one of the slowest periods of my life. In fact, it is from P5 to P6 that is the slowest. I hated that time, and I barely survived through it unscathed.
For other periods of my life, they largely went unnoticed. Not to say I dont remember them, but compared to the darker periods, they are almost non-existent. Secondary school and Jc just trotted away at a steady pace.
Even NS swooshed by just like that. I am not one of those guys who looked back and say "well, I hated NS, but now that I am out of it, I am grateful for the experience." I hated it back then, and I hate it even now. I would be infinitely better off if I hadnt gone NS, and what I learnt there isnt so pretty that I find myself grateful for. Those who disagree obviously hadnt injured their backs in NS.
But Uni, now thats a different story. Frankly speaking, in year 1, I was pretty much a loner. That isnt to say I hated that period: I am a loner by nature (or rather, a loner because of the P5-P6 period, but thats another story). However, things can get pretty slow, mundane and draggy if you are a loner. That's one of the reasons why I joined the Arts camp in year 2 i guess. I wanted to join in year 1 already, but couldnt, since I was still in camp. NS ruins my life ya?
After the camp, uni life whooshed past another 2 years, and hey its already the last sem for me, not counting hons year of course. Somehow, the past 3 sems time just sprinted past, even though for most of it I had 5 days week, and insane timetable.
Then the last sem (this sem), time seems to creep. School doesnt hold that much appeal to me anymore. I used to look forward to going school everyday; I hated weekends and free days, hated times when I have to go home. Now I dread going to school, day after day... Something seems to be lost already.
Well, not that I lost the studying fervour. I still love what I do. Its just... school itself.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Limits
When you are feeling happy, don't pull short of feeling bliss; for though we can find joy in every little thing we do, it is not often that we break the lethargy of emptiness, so don't short change yourself in what little we have.
When you are feeling sad, don't stop yourself from plunging either; for expecting of yourself to break the desolate feeling, is both hard and unreasonable. Expectations only lead to disappointment, and further pain. It is really quite impossible to pick yourself up while falling; only when you are at the bottom, can you find your footing again.
Experience only the limits.
When you are feeling sad, don't stop yourself from plunging either; for expecting of yourself to break the desolate feeling, is both hard and unreasonable. Expectations only lead to disappointment, and further pain. It is really quite impossible to pick yourself up while falling; only when you are at the bottom, can you find your footing again.
Experience only the limits.
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