Haven't been blogging regularly nor doing work these days. The reason, as some of you would have known, is that I have been called up for reservist for the past 2 weeks, and as of now, I still have a few more days of reservist left. I hate the army, really.
A couple of nights on the hard floor in camp makes me realize how comfortable my bed really is. A couple of weeks in camp makes me realize how little time I have left for doing my thesis. I might just flunk it simply because the $%#@ CO thinks he is actually smart enough to tell when I really need the time to complete my thesis. Bunch of %^@#$ fools.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
reservist
Friday, April 17, 2009
The philosophers' trial
At the philosophers' trial, some philosophers are charged with causing grievous harm to fictitious characters in thought experiments...
Friday, April 03, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
You can't step into the same river twice
Not only because the river is constantly changing, "YOU" are constantly changing too, hence the title.
If some philosophers are correct (namely the 4-dimensionalists), then you are not the same person as the person a year ago. Nor are you the same person an hour ago. Not even a second ago.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: of course I am not the same person I was a second ago. I have changed, slightly, from moment to moment. Compare the you 10 years ago and the you now, there will have been differences in terms of physical states and beliefs and desires. If we assume that the changes take place along a continuum of time, gradually and smoothly, then there will be changes however imperceptible every second. (At the very least, each breath you take will cause chemical changes throughout your body, resulting in minute changes at every moment in time.)
But that's not what those philosophers meant. You are not the same person not because you are a changed person at every following second. You are not even a changed person from the previous second because the previous "you" are not even you AT ALL.
Now what does that mean exactly, to say that the previous "you"-s are not even you at all? In layman terms, it means that a second ago, there is a person who looks almost exactly like you, who shares nearly all of your beliefs and desires, and wants to do almost nearly everything that the current you is doing. But that person is not you. He looks like you, acts like you, thinks like you; he thinks he will be you, and you think you had been him, but he is not you, neither are you him.
You are not the same person as the person who started reading this page. Nor are you the same person as the person who started reading this sentence. You exist only at an instant. For the length of reading this page, an infinity of you would have existed and flickered out, each thinking (naively) that they have existed all along with a history of, say, 20 odd years, and will continue to exist for quite some time yet.
How do we explain the appearance of personal history that we appear to be able to call up in our memories? Each of the instantaneous you possess an entire set of beliefs, desires, and memories, each largely coherent with the preceding you. For example you at time T would possess the memories of having sat down at the table and the current experiences of sitting down at the table; you at time T+1 would possess the memories of sitting down at the table and the current experiences of reading this post; you at time T+2 would have the memories of reading this post, and the current experiences of trying to remember all the memories you have since childhood in order to prove this post wrong; you at time T+3 would have the memories of trying to remember all the memories you have since childhood in order to prove this post wrong and the current experiences of doing that some more., etc.
All the memories are merely apparent memories. They are real memories, but only in the sense that they appear to be of the current you doing certain things in the past. But you never did those things, your previous selves might have, but they weren't you.
In fact, you don't need to have the previous selves in order to have those memories. They could simply have appeared in the repertoire of the current you's mind without there being any previous beings having done whatever you thought you have done in those memories.
You could simply be an instantaneous being who appeared and disappeared, thinking that it has lived for quite some time, and will live for some time yet, and there being no other instantaneous you-s before or after you.
You are thinking: now this surely is absurd. I reflect now, and I can just feel it. There is a whole history stretching back from me. I remember me doing all those stuff. Look, I am touching my cheek now. I shall vividly remember this feeling. 2 seconds later, I am pretty sure that it is the same me who did that cheek-touching; I have that experience in me now, even. Surely I am not mistaken about that!
But you are, if those philosophers are correct. You only think that you are the same person who did the cheek-touching. Maybe there has been a person who really did the cheek touching, but that person is not you, even if the details of the memories you have now is almost identical to the experiences that person has while touching his cheek.
Up till this point, I have not yet given any reasons for thinking this account of you surviving time is correct. But how do you know that it isn't?
If some philosophers are correct (namely the 4-dimensionalists), then you are not the same person as the person a year ago. Nor are you the same person an hour ago. Not even a second ago.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: of course I am not the same person I was a second ago. I have changed, slightly, from moment to moment. Compare the you 10 years ago and the you now, there will have been differences in terms of physical states and beliefs and desires. If we assume that the changes take place along a continuum of time, gradually and smoothly, then there will be changes however imperceptible every second. (At the very least, each breath you take will cause chemical changes throughout your body, resulting in minute changes at every moment in time.)
But that's not what those philosophers meant. You are not the same person not because you are a changed person at every following second. You are not even a changed person from the previous second because the previous "you" are not even you AT ALL.
Now what does that mean exactly, to say that the previous "you"-s are not even you at all? In layman terms, it means that a second ago, there is a person who looks almost exactly like you, who shares nearly all of your beliefs and desires, and wants to do almost nearly everything that the current you is doing. But that person is not you. He looks like you, acts like you, thinks like you; he thinks he will be you, and you think you had been him, but he is not you, neither are you him.
You are not the same person as the person who started reading this page. Nor are you the same person as the person who started reading this sentence. You exist only at an instant. For the length of reading this page, an infinity of you would have existed and flickered out, each thinking (naively) that they have existed all along with a history of, say, 20 odd years, and will continue to exist for quite some time yet.
How do we explain the appearance of personal history that we appear to be able to call up in our memories? Each of the instantaneous you possess an entire set of beliefs, desires, and memories, each largely coherent with the preceding you. For example you at time T would possess the memories of having sat down at the table and the current experiences of sitting down at the table; you at time T+1 would possess the memories of sitting down at the table and the current experiences of reading this post; you at time T+2 would have the memories of reading this post, and the current experiences of trying to remember all the memories you have since childhood in order to prove this post wrong; you at time T+3 would have the memories of trying to remember all the memories you have since childhood in order to prove this post wrong and the current experiences of doing that some more., etc.
All the memories are merely apparent memories. They are real memories, but only in the sense that they appear to be of the current you doing certain things in the past. But you never did those things, your previous selves might have, but they weren't you.
In fact, you don't need to have the previous selves in order to have those memories. They could simply have appeared in the repertoire of the current you's mind without there being any previous beings having done whatever you thought you have done in those memories.
You could simply be an instantaneous being who appeared and disappeared, thinking that it has lived for quite some time, and will live for some time yet, and there being no other instantaneous you-s before or after you.
You are thinking: now this surely is absurd. I reflect now, and I can just feel it. There is a whole history stretching back from me. I remember me doing all those stuff. Look, I am touching my cheek now. I shall vividly remember this feeling. 2 seconds later, I am pretty sure that it is the same me who did that cheek-touching; I have that experience in me now, even. Surely I am not mistaken about that!
But you are, if those philosophers are correct. You only think that you are the same person who did the cheek-touching. Maybe there has been a person who really did the cheek touching, but that person is not you, even if the details of the memories you have now is almost identical to the experiences that person has while touching his cheek.
Up till this point, I have not yet given any reasons for thinking this account of you surviving time is correct. But how do you know that it isn't?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Clement's Demon
Suppose one day a Demon pops up in front of you. He randomly chooses fifteen people and threatens to obliterate them with a single word, unless you agree to sacrifice 2 hours of your time everyday for 40 years devoted to counting sand.
Assuming that:
1. You do not take any pleasure whatsoever in counting sand (and most definitely none whatsoever in counting sand 2 hours everyday for the rest of your life);
2. You know (for sure) that the Demon will keep his word--he will not obliterate the people if you agree to sacrifice 2 hours of your time everyday for 40years. If at any point of time you break that agreement, he would obliterate the 15 chosen people immediately.
3. The 15 people will live for another 80 years yet if not obliterated by the Demon.
Would you do it? That is, do you think that the value of 15 human lives is great enough to warrant you giving up 2 hours of your life everyday for 40 years?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Scam kidnapping
Recently, my household has been hit by a series of scam calls.
The first was a few months ago, when I went for a Cameron Highlands trip. It was the last day of the trip (luckily), and I suddenly received a call from some private number. I didn't pick it up since I always get those irritating phone salespeople trying to sell me some stupid bonds. It rang on however, and I decided to pick it up on the second time. It was my aunt. She practically screamed at me, asking me where I am, and how come my mum is rushing out to pay some men who claimed to have kidnapped me.
So in a frenzy, I settled my aunt, and tried calling my mum. Her phone was engaged. So I tried calling my sis. Engaged too. Figured that my mum was talking to my sis. So I smsed the both of them. Minutes later, my sis called back, demanding the same questions as my aunt did. Then my mum called, and I reassured her that nothing's wrong, and that she should make a police report.
The rest of the day was spent in worrying thoughts of what would happen if the scammers decided that robbing us would be better than trying to scam us now that the scam failed.
As a result of that scam call, we changed our phone number and made it private.
The second scam call was a few weeks ago. I picked it up this time round. It was faint, as though the reception wasn't that good, and I vaguely heard someone talking. So I went "hello? hello? I can't hear you." Then the voice got progressively louder, like someone adjusting the mouthpiece. Then I heard someone crying, "(sob sob) I'm in trouble already. (sob sob.)" I didn't respond. Then he repeated himself. I hung up immediately.
It couldn't have been my dad, since it doesn't sound like him, neither does he sound like any of my friends. I was half tempted to laugh at him and call his bluff. But I decided not to incur his wrath, or we might get free pig head hanging on our door tmr.
So here's a word of caution for every of my friends out there. Such things do happen, and not only in the news. Somehow there is a greater urgency when it happens to people near us, and hence it would be good if you tell your parents about such incidents. My mum always caution us about such scam calls when she watches the news, but yet she panicked when it happened to her, and she didn't even think of calling me to verify. And don't think you are safe just because your number is private, because you are not.
The first was a few months ago, when I went for a Cameron Highlands trip. It was the last day of the trip (luckily), and I suddenly received a call from some private number. I didn't pick it up since I always get those irritating phone salespeople trying to sell me some stupid bonds. It rang on however, and I decided to pick it up on the second time. It was my aunt. She practically screamed at me, asking me where I am, and how come my mum is rushing out to pay some men who claimed to have kidnapped me.
So in a frenzy, I settled my aunt, and tried calling my mum. Her phone was engaged. So I tried calling my sis. Engaged too. Figured that my mum was talking to my sis. So I smsed the both of them. Minutes later, my sis called back, demanding the same questions as my aunt did. Then my mum called, and I reassured her that nothing's wrong, and that she should make a police report.
The rest of the day was spent in worrying thoughts of what would happen if the scammers decided that robbing us would be better than trying to scam us now that the scam failed.
As a result of that scam call, we changed our phone number and made it private.
The second scam call was a few weeks ago. I picked it up this time round. It was faint, as though the reception wasn't that good, and I vaguely heard someone talking. So I went "hello? hello? I can't hear you." Then the voice got progressively louder, like someone adjusting the mouthpiece. Then I heard someone crying, "(sob sob) I'm in trouble already. (sob sob.)" I didn't respond. Then he repeated himself. I hung up immediately.
It couldn't have been my dad, since it doesn't sound like him, neither does he sound like any of my friends. I was half tempted to laugh at him and call his bluff. But I decided not to incur his wrath, or we might get free pig head hanging on our door tmr.
So here's a word of caution for every of my friends out there. Such things do happen, and not only in the news. Somehow there is a greater urgency when it happens to people near us, and hence it would be good if you tell your parents about such incidents. My mum always caution us about such scam calls when she watches the news, but yet she panicked when it happened to her, and she didn't even think of calling me to verify. And don't think you are safe just because your number is private, because you are not.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Updates
If you haven't known it yet from my facebook updates, I've gotten a girlfriend, which would explain why I am always busy these days and almost never online. That is, if you count online only every other day as "almost never online"; relative to how I was really always online back in the old days, I think that's a fair exaggeration.
I didn't even game much these days. Of the past week, I think I gamed a grand total of 2.5 hours. Over the past month, probably only 3hrs. Luckily, instead of neglecting my work, I actually worked more: from 0 hour a day to 1-2hours a day. But that might just be due to stress from the approaching deadline.
I organized a philosophy introductory series for the year ones some time back. I gave the first talk, and it went rather well, in terms of the turn out and the reception of the talk. The philosophy society helped me do the advertising, so I have them to thank for it.
The second talk however, I did the "advertising" myself, which just involves pasting two posters at the department and nothing else. Worse still, the initial timing for the talk was changed 3 times, owing to unforeseen clashes with other classes (i.e. due to super bad planning on my part), and the final one still clashed with a logic module. As expected, the turn out was extremely bad: none showed up.
I owe an apology to weng hong for agreeing to give a talk but giving him no audience. Sorry!
I didn't even game much these days. Of the past week, I think I gamed a grand total of 2.5 hours. Over the past month, probably only 3hrs. Luckily, instead of neglecting my work, I actually worked more: from 0 hour a day to 1-2hours a day. But that might just be due to stress from the approaching deadline.
I organized a philosophy introductory series for the year ones some time back. I gave the first talk, and it went rather well, in terms of the turn out and the reception of the talk. The philosophy society helped me do the advertising, so I have them to thank for it.
The second talk however, I did the "advertising" myself, which just involves pasting two posters at the department and nothing else. Worse still, the initial timing for the talk was changed 3 times, owing to unforeseen clashes with other classes (i.e. due to super bad planning on my part), and the final one still clashed with a logic module. As expected, the turn out was extremely bad: none showed up.
I owe an apology to weng hong for agreeing to give a talk but giving him no audience. Sorry!
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Reservist
Finally, the dreaded time has come. Starting tomorrow, I will be going for my first ever In Camp training for NS, aka ICT. I heard that I may be able to stay out, since they don't seem to want to provide bunks for us to stay overnight. I have sooo many things to do, and they had to force me to listen to stupid army lectures on how to man a radio set that is a relic from the last war world.
In any case, I will be uncontactable via emails, facebook etc., during this period. 16-21 Feb. Do sms or call me if there is anything. You can also try calling me in the day, so that I will get charged (as in charged in court) for disturbing the stupid lectures with my ringing phone.
And they have to recall us just after 14th Feb.*Waves*
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Please give up your Seats
A curious trend on the MRT is on the rise recently, ever since SMRT decided to make the "Please give up this seat" sign at the corner seats more conspicuous.
Now, we see people choosing not to sit at the corner seats if they can find seats elsewhere, presumably because the seats are for the elderly and disabled (and not because they are lazy to give up their seats later). However, this does not exactly translate into more seats for the elderly and disabled. In fact, it seems to have the opposite effect.
Because the conscientious people refuse to take the seats, the seats are, almost inevitably, taken up by people who don't give a damn about others. And when the elderly or the disabled enter the carriage, these people who don't give a damn about others would just continue to not give a damn to the elderly etc.
And because the signs are so conspicuous about which seats are for the elderly, the other people on the other seats, including those who so "conscientiously" refused to sit at the corner seats, deem it not their duty to give up their seats instead. In the end, no one gave up their seats.
So in the end, the elderly and disabled and the pregnant have to stand.
But on the other hand, if Singapore is so full of such bastards, doesn't it stand to reason that the elderly and the pregnant were once bastards themselves too?
Now, we see people choosing not to sit at the corner seats if they can find seats elsewhere, presumably because the seats are for the elderly and disabled (and not because they are lazy to give up their seats later). However, this does not exactly translate into more seats for the elderly and disabled. In fact, it seems to have the opposite effect.
Because the conscientious people refuse to take the seats, the seats are, almost inevitably, taken up by people who don't give a damn about others. And when the elderly or the disabled enter the carriage, these people who don't give a damn about others would just continue to not give a damn to the elderly etc.
And because the signs are so conspicuous about which seats are for the elderly, the other people on the other seats, including those who so "conscientiously" refused to sit at the corner seats, deem it not their duty to give up their seats instead. In the end, no one gave up their seats.
So in the end, the elderly and disabled and the pregnant have to stand.
But on the other hand, if Singapore is so full of such bastards, doesn't it stand to reason that the elderly and the pregnant were once bastards themselves too?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Secondary school reunion
Met up with my secondary school friends today. I haven't seen them for 10 years (really!), so it was with some trepidation that I went to it.
Interestingly, almost all of them haven't changed a bit. I mean, seriously. They look just like when they were in secondary school. Well, some of the guys are taller, and some of the girls wear make-ups now, but other than that, everyone is just a (slightly) enlarged version of themselves in the past.
Oddly enough, they say the same thing of me, that I haven't changed at all. Which is odd because, just a few days ago when I went chinese new year visiting, all my relatives said that I have changed. My cousin couldn't even recognise me! And I've been faithfully going to the annual family reunion dinners.
So the conclusion to draw is that everyone changes every year. But it's all a cycle. After you have changed 10 times, when the 10-year cycle concluded, then hey presto! you have changed back into the original you again.
Facts have thus once again vindicated the doctrine of Eternal Recurrence propounded by Nietzsche, even if that's not what the doctrine originally stated.
Interestingly, almost all of them haven't changed a bit. I mean, seriously. They look just like when they were in secondary school. Well, some of the guys are taller, and some of the girls wear make-ups now, but other than that, everyone is just a (slightly) enlarged version of themselves in the past.
Oddly enough, they say the same thing of me, that I haven't changed at all. Which is odd because, just a few days ago when I went chinese new year visiting, all my relatives said that I have changed. My cousin couldn't even recognise me! And I've been faithfully going to the annual family reunion dinners.
So the conclusion to draw is that everyone changes every year. But it's all a cycle. After you have changed 10 times, when the 10-year cycle concluded, then hey presto! you have changed back into the original you again.
Facts have thus once again vindicated the doctrine of Eternal Recurrence propounded by Nietzsche, even if that's not what the doctrine originally stated.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Call of the wild
Man likes to domesticate things. We've domesticated savage hounds, turned them into cute puppies. We've tamed felines, breeding them into standoffish house pets. We've brought birds, rodents, and even reptiles into the house. We made creatures of the wild produce milk and lay eggs for our consumption and do stunts for our entertainment. But there's one creature which we probably would never be able to tame.
Woman, the untamable.
Woman, the untamable.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Older
I just attended a friend's wedding dinner tonight, which made me realize a couple of things that has been bubbling under the lid waiting to be realized long ago, but for some mysterious reason, has not.
First off, I am getting older. I suppose we all feel older whenever a friend gets married, and you are still a bachelor. But the fact is, I am extremely justified in feeling older. And with a couple more years stuck in the university, the worst is yet to come.
Along with the realization about age, comes the realization about money. To put it bluntly, I am broke. Not exactly penniless, but definitely related through some strong bloodline to it. It just adds to the misery knowing that friends around my age have already repaid their study loans, own a car, applied for a flat, and have a couple of kids on the way.
I suppose I was first attracted to the idea of doing a PhD and being a professor by the supposedly high pay the professors get. 6K a month for a starting pay sounds like really a lot, until you sit down and do your maths, and realize that friends of your age who has started working 6 years before you finally get your Phd would have accumulated so much savings that you have a hell of catching up to do before you can even be as financially stable as them. And that's not counting how much their pay would be by the time you finished your PhD which seems to last forever.
That's assuming you would land a job upon graduation.
For now, having a Phd seems practically having a white elephant. Sure you have a nice sounding "Dr" prefix from then on, but that comes with a price. Or rather, the prefix itself IS the price; introduce me anyone with a Dr in front of their name, and the word "nerd" inevitably pops into mind.
Getting a girlfriend is hard; forget about getting a wife. At least in the short term. If you are staring at another 3 years spent in the university dorm, with a meagre stipend just enough for bread everyday, you don't really want to try feeding another mouth with it. Romantic dates and long holidays are romantic only to the extent that you pay only for your own share, which is not really that romantic anymore. That's assuming that you have the money to go on any dates at all.
And even if you do like someone very much, there is practically nothing you can do about it. Unless she is prepared to throw everything down here in singapore and go overseas with you to live in a dump. And if you really like someone, you don't even want to subject her to that. You can only hope and pray, like the ancient chinese scholars who leave their homeland for the imperial examinations, that you come back laden with glory (and cash) and nothing has changed. Statisticians would tell you that such possibility is in the range of something small to the power of something big, and philosophers would tell you that it is an impossibility.
What to do? What would you do in my circumstances?
Suck thumb.
First off, I am getting older. I suppose we all feel older whenever a friend gets married, and you are still a bachelor. But the fact is, I am extremely justified in feeling older. And with a couple more years stuck in the university, the worst is yet to come.
Along with the realization about age, comes the realization about money. To put it bluntly, I am broke. Not exactly penniless, but definitely related through some strong bloodline to it. It just adds to the misery knowing that friends around my age have already repaid their study loans, own a car, applied for a flat, and have a couple of kids on the way.
I suppose I was first attracted to the idea of doing a PhD and being a professor by the supposedly high pay the professors get. 6K a month for a starting pay sounds like really a lot, until you sit down and do your maths, and realize that friends of your age who has started working 6 years before you finally get your Phd would have accumulated so much savings that you have a hell of catching up to do before you can even be as financially stable as them. And that's not counting how much their pay would be by the time you finished your PhD which seems to last forever.
That's assuming you would land a job upon graduation.
For now, having a Phd seems practically having a white elephant. Sure you have a nice sounding "Dr" prefix from then on, but that comes with a price. Or rather, the prefix itself IS the price; introduce me anyone with a Dr in front of their name, and the word "nerd" inevitably pops into mind.
Getting a girlfriend is hard; forget about getting a wife. At least in the short term. If you are staring at another 3 years spent in the university dorm, with a meagre stipend just enough for bread everyday, you don't really want to try feeding another mouth with it. Romantic dates and long holidays are romantic only to the extent that you pay only for your own share, which is not really that romantic anymore. That's assuming that you have the money to go on any dates at all.
And even if you do like someone very much, there is practically nothing you can do about it. Unless she is prepared to throw everything down here in singapore and go overseas with you to live in a dump. And if you really like someone, you don't even want to subject her to that. You can only hope and pray, like the ancient chinese scholars who leave their homeland for the imperial examinations, that you come back laden with glory (and cash) and nothing has changed. Statisticians would tell you that such possibility is in the range of something small to the power of something big, and philosophers would tell you that it is an impossibility.
What to do? What would you do in my circumstances?
Suck thumb.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
New Year's Resolutions
Yay 2009! Happy New Year! Wishes and greetings all around for a day which has absolutely no significance whatsoever other than an arbitrary flip of the calender. But anyhow, I do sincerely wish all my friends good health and good luck for the next 365 days, which is another entirely arbitrary number with no significance whatsoever.
Now for the New year Resolutions:
1. Work Hard! On my MA thesis, and my PhD application! And get into a good PhD program dammit.
2. Stop having stray thoughts.
3. Gain another 5-10 kg. In case you didn't know, my last year's resolution for my weight went perfectly according to plan. I gained 10kg over last year.
4. Get my black belt. Which is impossible, since they only hold 3 gradings each year, and I'm 4kyu. Or am I 3rd?
5. Improve family relationships.
6. Be less weird.
7. Be less enthusiastic in various areas.
Ok that's it so far. Maybe I'll think of more resolutions another day.
Now for the New year Resolutions:
1. Work Hard! On my MA thesis, and my PhD application! And get into a good PhD program dammit.
2. Stop having stray thoughts.
3. Gain another 5-10 kg. In case you didn't know, my last year's resolution for my weight went perfectly according to plan. I gained 10kg over last year.
4. Get my black belt. Which is impossible, since they only hold 3 gradings each year, and I'm 4kyu. Or am I 3rd?
5. Improve family relationships.
6. Be less weird.
7. Be less enthusiastic in various areas.
Ok that's it so far. Maybe I'll think of more resolutions another day.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
A philosopher's undying love
You are the most important thing in my life, even more important than my PhD thesis.
There are more important things than you in this world, but I haven’t found any yet; I mean, it is logically possible that they are there…
How impossibly beautiful you are! Just like the round square!
You are my everything! (Depending on how you define “everything.” And also “my,” and “you.”)
I love you more than mere words can express. That’s a contradiction.
I mean, I love you more than mere words can express, where “love” refers to something which cannot be otherwise referred to.
If it is the case that I don’t love you, 1 plus 1 would equal 3. But 1 plus 1 is not equal to 3. Therefore it is the case that I love you.
God gave me free will to love you! That’s assuming that God is omnipotent, omni-benevolent, and there is no such possible world where there is no free will and is better than the actual world.
You are the most beautiful woman I have seen at this moment!
It cannot possibly be thought that it is not the case that I don't not love you.
If you clear all thoughts out of your head for a moment, you will experience the all-embracing love that is present in the universe. Actually that’s just me.
You know I love you. Loosely speaking. Heck, if Hume is right, we can’t even know the sun will rise tomorrow. Strictly speaking, you can’t know I love you…
…how do you even know that I exist, not simply as a figment as your imagination?
If you are a brain-in-a-vat, I want to be your vat.
You are like* the stars in the sky!
* similar in certain aspects, not necessarily more than one. Similarity in material composition would suffice.
I can’t live without you! Every time I am alone, I am actually “living”.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Resolu...
It's the new year, and it's time for new... What? It's not new year yet? Oh right, it's only Christmas. Well, that means there's still time to procrastinate on making any new resolutions. 4 more days to be precise. Hmm... I wonder if I made any resolution about procrastination for year 2008. Probably I think--procrastination is practically on everyone's lists of resolutions. Well then, if so, I am only just trying to keep to my resolution.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Evenings
When I was young, my modes of entertainment were precious and few. My parents didn't believe in buying one of those gaming consoles for me, thinking it would distract me from studying, nor do they like me reading too many story books, for the same reason. And I didn't have many toys, thinking they are a waste of money; nor do I watch TV, because it is simply a waste of time.
My parents would be both out working in those days, and I wasn't exactly on the best of terms with my sister back then. Thinking back, I wonder how I survived the boredom that must pervade my childhood.
I do remember one bit of entertainment I had. In the evenings, just before the light starts to fade into the yellow color of sunset, I would curl up in this wooden reclining arm chair, listening to a Walkman. Back then, I have this earphones that were really huge; they look like ear muffs, and they encase my ears completely like two shields. Because of their design, I can blast the music as loud as I want, and yet no one else can hear it at all. They also render me completely unable to hear anything other than the music.
With the fading light, and the loud music in my ears, it would feel as though I am completely in a world of my own, cut off from anything outside. For hours, I would just lie in the chair, watching the light slowly changing from white to yellow, to orangish-red, and finally to complete darkness. And through it all, I can see the shadows from the windows slowly lengthening, creeping across the floor tiles so stealthily as though trying hard not be noticed.
It is unbelievably serene. It is also unbelievably lonely.
Then before the light failed completely, there will be the sounds of the lock rattling, signaling either my mum, or my dad coming back from work. And I would run and open the door for them.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Love thy neighbours?
I have bastard neighbours.
Strictly speaking, I don't know whether they are considered my neighbours since they live, respectively, above and below me. Let us call them Upper and Lower.
Upper is a family with kids and old folks. In the morning, around 6am, one of them would get up to pound chili. Apparently they eat chili everyday, and they can't just simply grind it. They have to pound the hell of them it, and the sleep out of everyone in my house.
And they must have belonged to some ancient, mystical clan that dictates that all pounding have to be done on the ground itself, without any paddings, or they will incur the wrath of some great earth spirit. As such, we get to experience the full surround sound of the rhythmic pounding every single day for a few months. Until I shouted at them to shut the hell up.
At 7am, when their kid wakes up from all the pounding, he will decide that he wants pay back for the noise. But most curiously, the payback is done to us. He would ride on his fake car, which sounds like a ton, and go careening across his flat. Now the sound experience is even better. We can actually trace the car with our eyes as the rumble of the car approaches, until it circles our heads for a brief respite, then it would zoom off again to another corner of his flat. His parents, and grandparents are doing a fabulous job of teaching the kid sensitivity; he will probably grow up to be a jerk, not unlike his parents and grandparents.
And of course, why stop at disturbing people with noises, when you can actually irritate them with smell? One of them Upper, I have no idea which, loves smoking. And he loves smoking at the window directly above mine. Probably because if he smokes in-house, he will kill the kid which shows so much promise of growing up into a jerk and he doesn't want that, he tries to kill me instead with his second hand smoke; he blows them out of his window, and without fail, the wind blows them into mine.
And since I have the habit of sleeping with my door closed, the smoke stays inside while I sleep, until I wake up half-choking over the smoke to shut the windows. Then I have to open my door to air the room, which is impossible since the windows are shut and there's no air circulation. So I have to wait for him to finish his stick, before opening the windows again.
Every night, I have to do that. Sometimes at 1am, sometimes at 3am, but without fail, 5am. And people wonder why I always look like I didn't get enough sleep. He doesn't only smoke at night though, it is just that I have the sense to stay out of the house in the day most of the time.
Just when you thought that only Uppers can affect you, since they can do things to your ceiling which is their floor, while Belows can't do anything to their ceiling which is my floor, the Belows began their smell attack. Interestingly, even though cigarette smoke only travels downwards due to their density, incense smoke is light enough to float up the air. Every friday, we are fumigated, unwillingly, with some intensely pungent incense and treated to an un-interrupted stream of ringing experience for exactly an hour. It was close all the windows, or die. Apparently, it must be some rites to send people like us on the way.
I don't want to live here anymore. Not with my bastard neighbours, and the super ulu-ness of the place. I hate it.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Can you differentiate all these?
You think you are wrong, but if you are wrong, then you are right.
You think you are wrong, and if you are wrong, then you are right.
You think you are wrong, and if you are right, then you are wrong.
You think you are wrong, but if you are right, then you are wrong.
You think you are wrong, but if you are right, then you are right.
You think you are wrong, and if you are wrong, then you are right.
You think you are wrong, and if you are right, then you are wrong.
You think you are wrong, but if you are right, then you are wrong.
You think you are wrong, but if you are right, then you are right.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
RAM
I upgraded my laptop RAM today. Earlier on, I had gone to the NUS co-op to check out how much they are selling the RAM for. The price they quoted was 99 bucks for 2Gb, and 50 bucks for 1Gb.
Today I went down to Simlim, and guess how much I bought my 2Gb Ram for? Only 34bucks! And it's the same brand. I'll never trust NUS's prices again. Complete rip-off.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Identity
"Most of us have a special and intense interest in what will happen to us. You learn that someone will be run over by a truck tomorrow; you are saddened, feel pity, and think reflectively about the frailty of life; one bit of information is added, that the someone is you, and a whole new set of emotions rise in your breast." -- John Perry, "The importance of being identical"
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