Fire extinguishers

While searching the Net for places to buy fire extinguishers, I come across this description of a website selling them. You know how there are tons of English goof ups available on the Net, many of which are hilarious? I think I might have stumbled upon another:

Fire extinguisher

Special Extinguishing formula to impregnate around minor fires whatever their cause, so as to avoid...

This actually sounds grammatically correct. While it may be alright to impregnate minor fires, it means a different thing to impregnate around fires. In any case, this wonder extinguisher is a must-have for baby-less couples; I just wonder how it is used.

Women

While I'm still rational, I thought it might be best to jot down the things that I look out for in girls, since many have asked, and since it would probably change as the years float by, and it would be a nice comparison to have when looking back at it, say 5 years later.

I've got to stop that, and revise my usage to "women" instead of "girls", since I am at the point in life where to keep on talking about "girls" seems to imply some paedophiliac fetish in me. So what do I look out for in women? As in looking out as criteria for a potential partner, not just idle gazing. (For idle gazing, the criteria is pretty simple, as you would have imagined.)

1. Smart. She's got to be intelligent at the very least. I can't stand bimbos who can't even hold a decent conversation, not even if they got the sexiest body alive. Of course, if she is intelligent then it significantly reduces the risk that she might be unreasonable generally, though I'm not putting any money on that; there is some stubborn streak of unreasonability in most women, and the smartest women is susceptible to some degree of unreasonability at the best of times.

2. Confident. I don't know why, but I like women who are confident, but I suppose this isn't a really big thing to ask for, since most women are confident to the point they are haughty. On the other hand, maybe I am looking not for the over-confident type, but the non-insecure type. That should be harder to come by I should think.

3. Good temper. I have a strange temper. I have an angel's temper up to the point some one flares up at me, then it's all downhill from there. Suppose my future partner has a bad temper, we would simply bounce our tempers off each other until we both reach melting point. Plus I do hate fights, absolutely; I used to have nightmares about having fights with people. (I don't mean karate-y fights, mind.)

4. I used to like long haired girls. I'm not very sure now, since my judgment is a little clouded now, but I think I still do. Not so long that she would look like a pontianak, maybe just around shoulder's length. (So specific? you say. But this is my list, and this is my blog, so I ought to be able to say that, so there.)

5. I like tall women. Probably around 1.65m to 1.7m. I am 1.75m, so that's just a slight difference in height. I don't like to have to tower over her, 'cause I will most probably stoop instead. Too much height disparity makes me feel like a paedophile too.

6. Can't stand stubborn women.

7. Sporty types. I wasn't able to say this in the past, since I wasn't very sporty myself. But recently I have been going for karate, trekking, and... erm... cycling? so yea, I am able to come out and claim I like sporty types now.

8. With a tan, i.e. darker complexion. I never had a thing for fair skin, and darker complexion looks rather exotic too. Plus sporty types are more liable to have a tan. See 7 above.

9. Nice eyes. My eyes are probably the nicest feature on my face (some say the only nice feature), so naturally I look out for women with nice eyes. But I probably wouldn't notice your eyes unless I am already interested in you.

10. I don't like the really skinny types, nor the really chubby types. That said, I prefer fleshier women to the simply lean type. This has got to do with myself; I am too thin myself, and long term self gazing formed a general disinclination for thin women.

11. Cheery. I am just writing the criteria as I think of them, so they aren't in any particular order. In fact, being cheery deserves at least a number 3 on this list.

Interestingly, none of the women I have liked before come close to completely fulfilling the list of criteria here, though I suppose the list might have been different in the past too. And I expect the women I will like in the future might fulfill even less of these criteria; Life has a way of going the exact opposite of what I expect to have.

Animal talk

You know how people would "talk" to animals according to their species? For example, we would "talk" to a cat by meowing at it, growling at a dog, and making chitter-y noises at birds and rodents.

I was just wondering, if aliens were to visit Earth, what kind of noises would they make to "talk" to us? I don't know about other places, but if the aliens were to land in Singapore, they would probably go "la, lah, laaaaahh" at us.

Perfect

Do you know the feeling when after a period of intense work, stress and exhaustion, after spending countless nights wishing that you would get this piece of assignment done, and when it is suddenly over, you feel not relief that it is behind you, but a tiny bit of emptiness gnawing at your heart alerting you to the fact that you have absolutely nothing to do? And if you have this experience, and if you hate it like I do, then retrospectively, it would mean that we actually liked the stress and exhaustion back then, to some extent.

Or it could be just that we like neither feelings. That seems to be much more plausible, considering how humans seem to be beings that are never contented. If we like someone, we would think that this person is perfect if not for some a-factor. If we are enjoying ourselves at the moment, we would think the moment perfect if not for the nagging piece of undone work at the back of our mind. If we were the richest person on earth, it still wouldn't be perfect since we don't have eternity to enjoy our riches. There are always some if-nots in the way of perfect happiness, enjoyment, what have you.

Plus it sounds ridiculous, at least to most people, to claim that you are enjoying yourself perfectly at any one moment, particularly if it happens that the moment is just a simple affair of sipping from a can of tea. You don't know the meaning of perfect enjoyment, that's what these people would say if you were to be so irresponsible as to proclaim your enjoyment to them.

What then is perfect enjoyment? Maybe that is what comes when you get every odious piece of work out of the way, when you have every conceivable pleasures awaiting your whims, when you have everyone sincerely loving you, etc. But maybe, just maybe, at the end of it all, there is just this tiny bit of emptiness lurking, waiting quietly within the recesses of your heart for this mythical state of perfect enjoyment.