Really am sick, fever etc. Got a cough, took some cough medicine, and perhaps developed some allergy; whole face swollen. super itchy.
dunno how long this spell will take. got a 3 day temp job, sickness+job wun be blogging much.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Havent been blogging
Guess what, my pc is dead again. So I wouldnt be online most of the time, or blogging regularly. I am using my sis's pc, but since the pc is out in the hall, it is pretty prominent - dad and mum doesnt like to see me playing games (usually I close my door to play on my own pc).
So there. I got nothing to blog about anyway.
So there. I got nothing to blog about anyway.
Friday, May 19, 2006
the movies
Most people do not believe in movies or dramas. Not in the sense of doubting their existence, but disbelieving that so many dramatic incidents could happen to a person in so short a time period. In movies and drama, an ordinary person is turned into emotional freak who always has lots of interesting stuff happening to him/her.
Not that the interesting things couldnt have happened in reality, but after a while you will start doubting if a single person could ever have that much interesting stuff all happening to him. It is almost like a tap of the fairy's wand - and hey presto, I am in movie, and therefore I know interesting things will happen to me.
But most people lead ordinary lives, very unlike the movies or tv dramas, different in degree if not in kind. Sometimes we may even wish for more interesting things would happen to us, like a sudden lottery strike, or discovering a long lost twin.
However, unbeknownst to many, there is one aspect of our lives that is just like the movies, sometimes just as dramatic if not more so, and it is this one aspect of our lives that we wish would be more ordinary. Yet ordinary not in the sense of being not-interesting; for to be bored in this aspect of life would be serious indeed.
For some people, this aspect have all the intrigues of the movies and dramas put together, and more; you have people plotting behind your back, random gossips and chance coincidences conspiring against you, unfortunate mistakes and the grossest slips of tongue leading to unimaginable troubles and misunderstandings, and maybe even a grand conspiracy theory working in the background.
Friends turn to foes, and the next corner you turn may be the last step you ever take; smiling strangers stab you when you turn your back; all your plans never worked more than halfway.
Hurt and scars are guaranteed; happily ever after is just a myth like the movies are ficticious. Yet unlike the movies, the lull period never got cut out and being replaced by "seven years later"; you live through the darkest periods of your not quite long life, slowly counting every second, every year.
What aspect of your life am I talking about? If by now you havent quite guessed, here's the answer: your lovelife.
Not that the interesting things couldnt have happened in reality, but after a while you will start doubting if a single person could ever have that much interesting stuff all happening to him. It is almost like a tap of the fairy's wand - and hey presto, I am in movie, and therefore I know interesting things will happen to me.
But most people lead ordinary lives, very unlike the movies or tv dramas, different in degree if not in kind. Sometimes we may even wish for more interesting things would happen to us, like a sudden lottery strike, or discovering a long lost twin.
However, unbeknownst to many, there is one aspect of our lives that is just like the movies, sometimes just as dramatic if not more so, and it is this one aspect of our lives that we wish would be more ordinary. Yet ordinary not in the sense of being not-interesting; for to be bored in this aspect of life would be serious indeed.
For some people, this aspect have all the intrigues of the movies and dramas put together, and more; you have people plotting behind your back, random gossips and chance coincidences conspiring against you, unfortunate mistakes and the grossest slips of tongue leading to unimaginable troubles and misunderstandings, and maybe even a grand conspiracy theory working in the background.
Friends turn to foes, and the next corner you turn may be the last step you ever take; smiling strangers stab you when you turn your back; all your plans never worked more than halfway.
Hurt and scars are guaranteed; happily ever after is just a myth like the movies are ficticious. Yet unlike the movies, the lull period never got cut out and being replaced by "seven years later"; you live through the darkest periods of your not quite long life, slowly counting every second, every year.
What aspect of your life am I talking about? If by now you havent quite guessed, here's the answer: your lovelife.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
天才與白痴
Smart people are always trying to take over the world. So what does this means?
It means its better to be one of the stupid people.
But why?
I know you are thinking somewhere along the lines that it is easier to be stupid people; to not go after things that are as impossible as taking over the world. But sadly, you are wrong. (Admit it, you were thinking I will be saying that.)
But no, thats not the reason.
Think about it: if smart people are always trying to take over the world, who are they trying to supplant? The stupid people of course. Stupid people own the world.
So therefore thus ergo, it is better to be stupid; we own the world man.
It means its better to be one of the stupid people.
But why?
I know you are thinking somewhere along the lines that it is easier to be stupid people; to not go after things that are as impossible as taking over the world. But sadly, you are wrong. (Admit it, you were thinking I will be saying that.)
But no, thats not the reason.
Think about it: if smart people are always trying to take over the world, who are they trying to supplant? The stupid people of course. Stupid people own the world.
So therefore thus ergo, it is better to be stupid; we own the world man.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
delirious
Seems like subconsciously I am trying to numb myself? Or maybe it just is my addiction with the Knight Online game; in any case, I play the game from day till night until I am ready to drop on my face and froth.
Thats good actually, since I actually dont have to worry about getting sleepless nights. Though of cos, sometimes even sheer physical and mental fatigue cant stop me thinking and I still stay awake half the night. But possibly that has been reduced to a minimum - without the fatigue, maybe I wouldnt have been able to sleep till 7am.
Some one told me that we shouldnt be so full of ourselves: that being sad wouldnt affect others as much as we like to think we would. Well hopefully that is true, so I am affecting no one by my mood now. It's no one's fault anyway, really. Or if its anyone's fault, its mine.
And having the game infusing and confusing my mind is sort of a relief, since I cant keep a straight thought for more than 2 mins now. Every night, I know I dreamt of something I would be sad over in the day, but I nearly couldnt remember any of the dreams now. So thats sort of a blessing then. If you cant remember what you were sad over, then you couldnt really be sad.
That is very true huh. But if reality can be as easily obscured like the dreams, life will be much better and easier. Sometimes you wish for amnesia, but those that wish for it never got it, those who dont want it get it instead.
You know, night is the best time to get sad. Dark and quiet, switch off the music and you have the perfect setting. You can imagine the wind ruffling through your hair, as you stared into the inky darkness, looking at some images that only you would dream of. It is as though the world stood still for a moment to observe the depression.
So dark, you can almost hear your soul sigh.
Thats good actually, since I actually dont have to worry about getting sleepless nights. Though of cos, sometimes even sheer physical and mental fatigue cant stop me thinking and I still stay awake half the night. But possibly that has been reduced to a minimum - without the fatigue, maybe I wouldnt have been able to sleep till 7am.
Some one told me that we shouldnt be so full of ourselves: that being sad wouldnt affect others as much as we like to think we would. Well hopefully that is true, so I am affecting no one by my mood now. It's no one's fault anyway, really. Or if its anyone's fault, its mine.
And having the game infusing and confusing my mind is sort of a relief, since I cant keep a straight thought for more than 2 mins now. Every night, I know I dreamt of something I would be sad over in the day, but I nearly couldnt remember any of the dreams now. So thats sort of a blessing then. If you cant remember what you were sad over, then you couldnt really be sad.
That is very true huh. But if reality can be as easily obscured like the dreams, life will be much better and easier. Sometimes you wish for amnesia, but those that wish for it never got it, those who dont want it get it instead.
You know, night is the best time to get sad. Dark and quiet, switch off the music and you have the perfect setting. You can imagine the wind ruffling through your hair, as you stared into the inky darkness, looking at some images that only you would dream of. It is as though the world stood still for a moment to observe the depression.
So dark, you can almost hear your soul sigh.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
FASS student ambassador
yah, as the title suggests, I am being made one of the FASS student ambassadors (by my prof I think). For those who dont know what a FASS student ambassador is or does, it's ok, cos neither do I. (its not an honorary post or sth fyi; its just like arrowed for sai gang.)
I thought I was to help man the philo booth during open house, and when an email came asking me to go for some tea session, with the two words "open house" included within the email, I responded favourably. As it turns out, its got very little to do with the open house. zzzz.
Anyway, it's just a talk cock session with the vice dean (Paulin Tay) and the assistant dean (Dr Chng, whom I know, and she knows me by name too), and they told us some interesting stuff.
But, there are some things you as FASS student should know (and as a student ambassador, I am supposed to spread around =_=")
1. The module preference exercise that will be held sometime in the middle of the holiday is going to replace Majors module bidding. Thats right, you indicate what module you taking next sem, and they will automatically allocate your major module to you! No need to compete for your own major modules during CORS anymore, you just need to bid for your non-major modules.
So for those who are going on holidays, or working, too busy to check your email, just remember nonetheless that you HAVE to do the module preference exercise this year. It used to be that the module preference exercise is just for the professors to gauge the class size, but now its used to allocate major modules.
Please spread the word around, and (I probably shouldnt say this but) please tell your friends who are in popular majors like Psychology; this module preference exercise is especially important for them since they usually spend most of your CORS points on their own major bidding. So remember to get it preallocated to you.
2. The Arts canteen is going to be torn down and rebuilt, taking roughly 9 months for the whole process. In the meantime, arts students have to go engine to eat I guess. It will be starting roughly in August, and that means next sem. Jeez, even though the canteen sucks, I much prefer to eat there rather than trek all the way to engine. sigh. The new canteen is supposed to be partially air-conditioned, with two levels, the upper level being the higher end stalls. But my guess is that the air-conditioned area is going to be quite small. zzz
So there, updates from a FASS student ambassador. Check this space for more interesting updates. haha.
I thought I was to help man the philo booth during open house, and when an email came asking me to go for some tea session, with the two words "open house" included within the email, I responded favourably. As it turns out, its got very little to do with the open house. zzzz.
Anyway, it's just a talk cock session with the vice dean (Paulin Tay) and the assistant dean (Dr Chng, whom I know, and she knows me by name too), and they told us some interesting stuff.
But, there are some things you as FASS student should know (and as a student ambassador, I am supposed to spread around =_=")
1. The module preference exercise that will be held sometime in the middle of the holiday is going to replace Majors module bidding. Thats right, you indicate what module you taking next sem, and they will automatically allocate your major module to you! No need to compete for your own major modules during CORS anymore, you just need to bid for your non-major modules.
So for those who are going on holidays, or working, too busy to check your email, just remember nonetheless that you HAVE to do the module preference exercise this year. It used to be that the module preference exercise is just for the professors to gauge the class size, but now its used to allocate major modules.
Please spread the word around, and (I probably shouldnt say this but) please tell your friends who are in popular majors like Psychology; this module preference exercise is especially important for them since they usually spend most of your CORS points on their own major bidding. So remember to get it preallocated to you.
2. The Arts canteen is going to be torn down and rebuilt, taking roughly 9 months for the whole process. In the meantime, arts students have to go engine to eat I guess. It will be starting roughly in August, and that means next sem. Jeez, even though the canteen sucks, I much prefer to eat there rather than trek all the way to engine. sigh. The new canteen is supposed to be partially air-conditioned, with two levels, the upper level being the higher end stalls. But my guess is that the air-conditioned area is going to be quite small. zzz
So there, updates from a FASS student ambassador. Check this space for more interesting updates. haha.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
melodies
Sometimes when I listen to a piece of music, or a song, particularly sad ones, I get this urge to learn to play the musical instrument, or any other similar instrument for that matter.
Particularly the melodies, a pull of the violin, a draw on the saxophone, seem to be conveying some pure emotions; a feeling that is not properly embodied by the mind, never properly expressible in words; a sound that tugs at something unknown within you, as though it is the raw voice of it incarnate. A wordless, indescribable sadness incarnate.
Only that it isnt played by me; it might have been a raw emotion, but it is a raw emotion of somebody else's. It may not even have been true feeling, but something like a neighbour to it; something like speaking to a French, but French not being your native tongue; your speech is comprehensible to the French, but it isnt the real thing.
Thats why I long to be able to play an instrument, any instrument. Or at least, be able to sing - that at least, would express something, even if it's overshadowed by the words. Even without words, or better off because of without, there are sounds that can only properly express that which is within you- that which maybe even you wouldnt understand it yourself.
Particularly the melodies, a pull of the violin, a draw on the saxophone, seem to be conveying some pure emotions; a feeling that is not properly embodied by the mind, never properly expressible in words; a sound that tugs at something unknown within you, as though it is the raw voice of it incarnate. A wordless, indescribable sadness incarnate.
Only that it isnt played by me; it might have been a raw emotion, but it is a raw emotion of somebody else's. It may not even have been true feeling, but something like a neighbour to it; something like speaking to a French, but French not being your native tongue; your speech is comprehensible to the French, but it isnt the real thing.
Thats why I long to be able to play an instrument, any instrument. Or at least, be able to sing - that at least, would express something, even if it's overshadowed by the words. Even without words, or better off because of without, there are sounds that can only properly express that which is within you- that which maybe even you wouldnt understand it yourself.
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