Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Is Chivalry dead?

I heard this question over the radio today, as the DJ was polling people about it. The responses varied, some saying "yes, but women killed it," some saying simply "yes". Others have more reasons backing up their emphatic yeses, but because the sun is shining outside, the birds are chirping, the grass is cutting themselves, and the thoughts cluttering my head, I couldn't hear them beyond a few words. Some guy replied that it is not dead, because he is still practicing it. Others sneered. Mostly women.

I don't think chivalry is dead; myself, I hold the doors for women all the time, strangers or not, offer a helping hand whenever I saw the fairer sex burdened, holding out an umbrella when it's raining, and pull chairs for them (though none, so far, sat in the proffered chairs). I don't do these for men; being more likely to slam the door in their faces than not. Just kidding. But less likely to hold doors for men overall.

But I think, chivalry should be dead.

At the very least, it should be if equality of the sexes is the priority. These days, women fight for equality at every turn, and grumble if the door wasn't held out for them. This is not saying that I'm against equality, nor saying there is equality already. Progress has been made, but equality in the workplace is perhaps not perfect yet.

But if you expect equality, don't expect chivalry. We have to start somewhere, why not start at the simple things like opening your own door, and holding your own bags? Why, the thing that runs through a woman's mind when men offer a helping hand might just be "You think I can't even open a door myself? Looking down on us again?" We'd never know what women think, and if we are going to step on toes anyway, why not just step on one set of toes and open our own door. Easier for us that way.

Besides, half the time, no, probably more than half the time, when I open a door for a woman, she would just sweep pass me without even looking at me, all the while looking like she owned the place, and I the doorman. No thanks from the queen either.

Nothing pays, chivalry least of all.

Couple that with the next poll taken at the same radio station, this one on whether women like bad boys. Surprisingly, all the women who called in replied that they do. Not so surprising perhaps if my friend's case is any gauge: he never opened any door for any girl, and his girlfriend-who-back-then-wasn't-his girlfriend-yet, would stare incredulously at his back while I hold the door open for her. Yet we know, even at that time, that she was smitten with him.

Not being chivalrous adds to the charm I learnt. What are your views?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi idearhl, feeling bored? hope this amuses:

If all bad boys are charming, and no bad boys are chivalrous, where got follow that no chivalrous persons are charming?

But if it's false that no chivalrous persons are charming, then if charming persons attract women, some chivalrous person may be charming and thereby attract women.

So why must conclude that chivalry should be dead?

Anonymous said...

Yup, you are right that it doesn't follow that no chivalrous persons are charming. But that wasn't what I claimed what... haha. I said "not being chivalrous adds to the charm", so there are more reasons not to be chivalrous than not.

You sound like a student of Philosophy, yet you didn't leave your name. perhaps you would like to do so next time?

p.s. it's "idarhl" not "idearhl".

Anonymous said...

Whoops, sorry about the spelling, Clement. I'm no student of philosophy, jaja. Just a random passer-by in the www.

Perhaps I misunderstood your post.

In my previous comment, I was addressing your claim that "...chivalry should be dead", not the claim that "Not being chivalrous adds to the charm...".

For the latter claim is factual in character, and cannot be challenged by means of reasoning alone.

Rita Kazincsky

Anonymous said...

Welcome Rita =)

Well, my reasons for saying chivalry should be dead are two: firstly, if we are striving for equality of the sexes, it seems paradoxical that we should expect chivalry at the same time; secondly, being chivalrous might, or might not, attracts women, but not being chivalrous certainly seems to, so it seems better to be not chivalrous.

Again, chivalry should be dead then. haha