u can tell i am bored huh.

Honorary Mosquito Captain: And so we are all gathered here today for your graduation briefing, whereupon Commencement, you are released into the wild, figuratively speaking, to begin your short but ardous career of sucking human blood. Any questions at this point of time?

Mosquito A: I don't remember having taking any courses on sucking blood, where did this graduation ceremony come from??

Mosquito B: I don't remember seeing you either... why are you the Honorary Mosquito Captain?

Capt: Trivial and pointless questions. Really, we mosquitoes should start using our puny brains and not asking silly questions like these, for fear of appearing vacuous.

Any more stupid questions? No? Then I shall start my briefing proper. As you are about to embark on your holy mission to suck human blood, there are a few points to note... Yes? You got a question to ask?

Mosquito C: Ya, why is sucking human blood a holy thing to do? You mean its like we have to perform some rituals prior to sticking our mouths into their skins? That would be sooooo troublesome...

Capt: No, no... Not holy in the sense that you must perform obscene rituals (Mosquito C: I didnt say obscene...), but in the sense that it is a mission given to us by God to save human lives from extinction, and indeed, make them better for it.

Mosquito A,B, and C: Wow....

Capt: The idea is that humans have too much blood. Any experienced mosquito could tell you noobies that if you puncture the skin of any human, their blood will spurt out uncontrollably. That is a sign of high blood pressure, the blood moving from a place of high pressure to low pressure, seeking release from the confines of the taut, high-tensioned skin.

As we all know, high blood pressure is not good for humans, so we are on this mission to help them release some of the pressure in their bodies. You guys have heard of leeches, I presume?

Mosquitoes: Ya. The worm-like bastards right?

Capt: Well, those bastards are our allies: together we form the Universal Blood Service, bound in the mission to relieve humans of their high-pressured blood. The problem is that the leeches are quite rural in nature, and they refuse to leave the forest to service the city-dwellers. So it is up to us mobile units to spread all over the world in aid of the needys.

Mosquitoes: ooooohhh...

Mosquito B: Wait a minute Capt. If our mission is so holy and important as you made it out to be, why do we see humans trying to kill us mosquitoes whenever we try to suck their blood? I mean, I certainly havent been trying yet, but my mother and my cousins and my aunt and grandmother etc., all have died trying. They wouldnt be killing us if we are helping them, would they?

Capt: Of course not. The humans are eternally grateful to us Blood Servicers, and they long to show it. I must say your family has an unfortunate streak of bad luck to be constantly, accidentally, being killed by humans. We must understand that humans, being humans, have human reflexes, and it is natural that they slap their arms and legs whenever they feel the itch. It is most unfortunate when the Blood Servicers are in the way and got squashed unintentionally. But that is okay, since we got so many of us anyway.

Mosquito C: But I heard them cursing and swearing vehemently after we bit them...

Capt: Alright, no more inane questions and smart-aleck remarks.

Back to the pointers I promised you people: as we all know, human blood is sour and quite salty, not tasty at all, as they might have been inclined to think (those egoistic fools). To make our job easier and altogether more palatable, literally speaking, there are certain prime areas we should target, where the blood is fresher, sweeter, and pose less occupational hazard to us blood servicers. Places like the human eyelids, the ear lobes, the elbows and kneecaps, the knuckles on their fingers and toes, are the parallel of fish cheeks: the tastiest part of a fish which anyone should go for...

Mosquito C: Excuse me, what is this "fish cheeks" you are talking about? Have any mosquito actually eaten any of it? I thought we can only siphon liquid?

Capt: Right, forgive my slip. And I was saying, before I was kindly interrupted by a rude cadet, we should always go for places like the eyelids and earlobes, them possessing the freshest supply of blood with minimum amount of cholesterol and cancer causing agents; and the bony areas like elbows and knuckles where the risk of being accidentally slapped is reduced to a minimum.

Second point, we have received reports of sick mosquitoes who went around sucking blood, thus infecting their patients with the disease they carry. The good news is that apparently the disease most commonly carried by these sick mosquitoes, dengue, is not fatal at all, in fact, have hardly any effect on us mosquitoes, and hence presumably, the humans too. The bad news is that the paranoid humans have apparently filed a complaint to our Supreme Commanders, requesting the removal of these infected, but harmless, mosquitoes from the task force. Thus all of you, prior to graduation, would be required to go through a health check, which would be tedious and pointless imo, but over which you have no choice over.

The details of the health check will be briefed to you by that nurse over there, and I've heard it is relatively simple, just requiring you to poke your mouth into a volunteer human and see if he gets infected. Or something like that. Quite easy I should think.

Well, thats all for today. Dismiss.