If I have one wish, just one wish, and I can wish for anything at all, I wouldn't wish for the world riches, nor excelling at what I do, nor having a particular girl falling in love with me, not even everlasting life, and also not possessing all the knowledge in the world, even if they are each attractive choice in their own rights.
If I have just one wish, I wish that my spinal bone is normal.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Ramblings
Staying home these days to rush marking my students’ essays and write my own essay for ISM. I’ve finished marking, but not done on the ISM, though it is technically done. Still needs lots of ironing.
Went to the nearby hawker to have lunch just now. The chicken rice uncle asked me if I am Singaporean, and looked surprised when I said yes. Don’t I look Singaporean? At most, I might have some Malay blood in my veins, but still that should make me look Singaporean no? What do you think?
On my way home, at the void deck, I saw some clothes draped on the stone seats. One is a men’s jeans, another is distinctly a women’s blouse. I looked around for some signs of the woman who might have doffed it, but couldn’t find any, to my utter disappointment. That would have been… interesting, to say the least.
Ok, back to my essay.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Orange belt!
I got a double promotion for Karate, meaning instead of being promoted to 8th kyu after the recent grading, I am promoted straight to 7th Kyu. Still orange belt, but with 2 stripes instead of 3. Woohoo.
Usually a double promotion is awarded only to people who performed exceedingly well during the grading. But this time round, there are a lot of double promotions being awarded. Mine is not that rare after all. Still, it is worth rejoicing over.
Heeeyaaahhh!!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Exercise
Last week was the single most hectic week of my life (Hmm, maybe minus army Sispec time).
Monday I went jogging, think 3km.
Tuesday Karate.
Wednesday swimming. I swam more for the tan, but I did swim more than I ever did before, around 10laps =p.
Thursday Karate again.
Friday gym.
Saturday Karate again.
By the end of the Karate on Saturday, I was totally exhausted, and it wasn't even a particularly tough session. But Karate grading is coming, and so, orange belt here I come!
What about work you ask? It's not bad la. Generally I set my own pace, so I'm reading for my ISM at a snail's pace. And teaching doesn't really take up all the time, since I got only one class. A bit worried about the essay I have to write for the ISM however, since I don't even remember when it is due, and a bit worried about my Masters thesis, if I want to apply early for the overseas Phd, I better start doing the thesis soon.
Monday I went jogging, think 3km.
Tuesday Karate.
Wednesday swimming. I swam more for the tan, but I did swim more than I ever did before, around 10laps =p.
Thursday Karate again.
Friday gym.
Saturday Karate again.
By the end of the Karate on Saturday, I was totally exhausted, and it wasn't even a particularly tough session. But Karate grading is coming, and so, orange belt here I come!
What about work you ask? It's not bad la. Generally I set my own pace, so I'm reading for my ISM at a snail's pace. And teaching doesn't really take up all the time, since I got only one class. A bit worried about the essay I have to write for the ISM however, since I don't even remember when it is due, and a bit worried about my Masters thesis, if I want to apply early for the overseas Phd, I better start doing the thesis soon.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Bite 'em bullets!
If I were Neo in the Matrix, I wouldn't dodge all the bullets like he did; I would bite every single one of them.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Pictures
Always when we find a piece of scenery truly breathtaking, beautiful beyond words, we seek to capture it with a snap of our camera. But not before we interpose ourselves, or with a whole group of people, between the camera and the scenery, obscuring part, if not most, of the truly magnificent scene of Nature that we wanted to capture in the entirety in the first place.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Left or right brain?
Try it. I am right brain it seems, though I can see it both ways.
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html?from=mostpop
http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0,21598,22492511-5005375,00.html?from=mostpop
Friday, October 12, 2007
Monday, October 08, 2007
something
Holding my arms out to the side,
balancing to life
stepping to the music of heartbeat.
A fleeting feeling,
a memory of it.
Gray.
An urgency
towards nothing.
balancing to life
stepping to the music of heartbeat.
A fleeting feeling,
a memory of it.
Gray.
An urgency
towards nothing.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Movies
Movies that I want to watch, but have no time for, and no one to watch with:
Resident Evil: Extinction
Shoot 'em up
Balls of Fury
Mr Woodcock
IF I do manage to watch all of them, I would be broke too, so that's another reason why I haven't been able to.
Resident Evil: Extinction
Shoot 'em up
Balls of Fury
Mr Woodcock
IF I do manage to watch all of them, I would be broke too, so that's another reason why I haven't been able to.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Carpe diem
I understood immediately when Redherring announced in the graduate room that he needed something more; I feel pretty much the same way. It was precisely the reason why I have taken up Karate, something to occupy my time other than endless gaming and sleeping.
Now, my life is, as anyone would affirm from a third-person viewpoint, constructively worthwhile: I run every Monday and Thursday, go for Karate every Tuesday and Friday, do my readings conscientiously on Wednesdays and on the weekends, game minimally, spend my free-time reading leisure books, wake up early enough each day to catch the morning rays, and sleep with the cool night breeze.
Yet, I feel bored. I may not have a lot time on my hands to actually feel much boredom, but the few hours that I do have, I feel it all too acutely. It is not as though I am bored with Karate or doing Philosophy, and the reason I was doing them in the first place is not to lose myself in them anyway; I still love doing what I have been doing, a lot. It is just that, it seems that I should have something more.
What more I could have, I don't really know. I don't have time for anything more as it is, caught between the limited number of hours in a day and physical fatigue from all the exercise.
I don't know what could possibly be that "something more" either. It is not as if being in a relationship right now will fill up that sense of inadequacy, neither would finding some new activity do the trick. I thought of taking up archery, or going for more trekking, but that seems to me just more activities to pass the time; I would enjoy them, for sure, but I don't think either would give me a sense of being "filled".
Passing the time, in anticipation of what? It seems that the whole of human life is just that--passing the time in wait of something we don't really know. Perhaps we are all passing the time before we die. That seems to be the only thing in common for all mankind. We dig our heads into the soil, pretending to be busily caught up with what we are doing at the moment, pretending we did not see the inevitable end of the road. Carpe diem; seize the day, for there certainly is no future.
Maybe what I need is a sense of purpose. Not a purpose, mind, but a sense of purpose. For what can a purpose do? Suppose I have the purpose to save the world, what would that amount to? The world has to be worth saving in the first place. And I have to identify with the purpose; it is no good to tell me that God has dictated that I have to save the world someday; I would just be an unwillingly worker dragged along to save the world if I can't identify with the purpose at all.
And if God dictate that my purpose in life is to be food for some tiger? I can't identify with that anymore than I can identify with a purpose to be a social benefit, not unless I have the particular sense of purpose already.
Well maybe I should have a sense of purpose to be a social benefit, or at least, I should cultivate this sense of purpose. I don't see why, but mostly, I don't see how I can go about doing so. Either I have it, or I don't. Moreover, I don't see how being a social benefit would fill up my life, in the sense that it would motivate me positively.
Some would say, well yea, it is more important that you be a social benefit than how you feel; in other words, I should place priority in making myself useful than making myself happy.
I don't know, that seems to me to be straying from my original intent in making this post: I am not talking about what ought to motivate me, but merely making an observation, and a long-winded complaint, that nothing motivates me much.
Maybe I should take up social service, regardless if that makes me happy or not, but that seems to be a digression on the issue that I am bored. Taking up social service may be good, I may even consider it, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I am bored, and we are back to square one again.
It would be interesting if the Cataclysm happens any time soon.
Now, my life is, as anyone would affirm from a third-person viewpoint, constructively worthwhile: I run every Monday and Thursday, go for Karate every Tuesday and Friday, do my readings conscientiously on Wednesdays and on the weekends, game minimally, spend my free-time reading leisure books, wake up early enough each day to catch the morning rays, and sleep with the cool night breeze.
Yet, I feel bored. I may not have a lot time on my hands to actually feel much boredom, but the few hours that I do have, I feel it all too acutely. It is not as though I am bored with Karate or doing Philosophy, and the reason I was doing them in the first place is not to lose myself in them anyway; I still love doing what I have been doing, a lot. It is just that, it seems that I should have something more.
What more I could have, I don't really know. I don't have time for anything more as it is, caught between the limited number of hours in a day and physical fatigue from all the exercise.
I don't know what could possibly be that "something more" either. It is not as if being in a relationship right now will fill up that sense of inadequacy, neither would finding some new activity do the trick. I thought of taking up archery, or going for more trekking, but that seems to me just more activities to pass the time; I would enjoy them, for sure, but I don't think either would give me a sense of being "filled".
Passing the time, in anticipation of what? It seems that the whole of human life is just that--passing the time in wait of something we don't really know. Perhaps we are all passing the time before we die. That seems to be the only thing in common for all mankind. We dig our heads into the soil, pretending to be busily caught up with what we are doing at the moment, pretending we did not see the inevitable end of the road. Carpe diem; seize the day, for there certainly is no future.
Maybe what I need is a sense of purpose. Not a purpose, mind, but a sense of purpose. For what can a purpose do? Suppose I have the purpose to save the world, what would that amount to? The world has to be worth saving in the first place. And I have to identify with the purpose; it is no good to tell me that God has dictated that I have to save the world someday; I would just be an unwillingly worker dragged along to save the world if I can't identify with the purpose at all.
And if God dictate that my purpose in life is to be food for some tiger? I can't identify with that anymore than I can identify with a purpose to be a social benefit, not unless I have the particular sense of purpose already.
Well maybe I should have a sense of purpose to be a social benefit, or at least, I should cultivate this sense of purpose. I don't see why, but mostly, I don't see how I can go about doing so. Either I have it, or I don't. Moreover, I don't see how being a social benefit would fill up my life, in the sense that it would motivate me positively.
Some would say, well yea, it is more important that you be a social benefit than how you feel; in other words, I should place priority in making myself useful than making myself happy.
I don't know, that seems to me to be straying from my original intent in making this post: I am not talking about what ought to motivate me, but merely making an observation, and a long-winded complaint, that nothing motivates me much.
Maybe I should take up social service, regardless if that makes me happy or not, but that seems to be a digression on the issue that I am bored. Taking up social service may be good, I may even consider it, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I am bored, and we are back to square one again.
It would be interesting if the Cataclysm happens any time soon.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Robert Jordan
Robert Jordan, author of The Wheel of Time series, one of my favorite fantasy series, passed away on 16 Sept 2007 (US time I think).
We mourn the passing of a brilliant writer.
We mourn the passing of a brilliant writer.
chance
We drift
like dandelion seeds,
under a huge expanse of infinite sky;
Alone
as far as the eye can see.
like dandelion seeds,
under a huge expanse of infinite sky;
Alone
as far as the eye can see.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
sign
On a sign en route to the Judgment Day hearing:
Philosophers, this way ==>
<== Everyone else, this way.
Below, someone scribbled: How do you define "philosophers"?
Even below: You go this way, id**t. ==>
(If there is a Judgment day, and Judgments handing out to everyone, somehow I think that philosophers will take the longest time of all in accepting the verdict, insisting on the definition of every term used in the Judgment, debating about how the Judgment can be true, debating about if the Judgment is really true, maybe even debating if it is logically possible to be standing there receiving Judgment, regardless if the Judgment had been passed in their favor.)
Philosophers, this way ==>
<== Everyone else, this way.
Below, someone scribbled: How do you define "philosophers"?
Even below: You go this way, id**t. ==>
(If there is a Judgment day, and Judgments handing out to everyone, somehow I think that philosophers will take the longest time of all in accepting the verdict, insisting on the definition of every term used in the Judgment, debating about how the Judgment can be true, debating about if the Judgment is really true, maybe even debating if it is logically possible to be standing there receiving Judgment, regardless if the Judgment had been passed in their favor.)
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Is Chivalry dead?
I heard this question over the radio today, as the DJ was polling people about it. The responses varied, some saying "yes, but women killed it," some saying simply "yes". Others have more reasons backing up their emphatic yeses, but because the sun is shining outside, the birds are chirping, the grass is cutting themselves, and the thoughts cluttering my head, I couldn't hear them beyond a few words. Some guy replied that it is not dead, because he is still practicing it. Others sneered. Mostly women.
I don't think chivalry is dead; myself, I hold the doors for women all the time, strangers or not, offer a helping hand whenever I saw the fairer sex burdened, holding out an umbrella when it's raining, and pull chairs for them (though none, so far, sat in the proffered chairs). I don't do these for men; being more likely to slam the door in their faces than not. Just kidding. But less likely to hold doors for men overall.
But I think, chivalry should be dead.
At the very least, it should be if equality of the sexes is the priority. These days, women fight for equality at every turn, and grumble if the door wasn't held out for them. This is not saying that I'm against equality, nor saying there is equality already. Progress has been made, but equality in the workplace is perhaps not perfect yet.
But if you expect equality, don't expect chivalry. We have to start somewhere, why not start at the simple things like opening your own door, and holding your own bags? Why, the thing that runs through a woman's mind when men offer a helping hand might just be "You think I can't even open a door myself? Looking down on us again?" We'd never know what women think, and if we are going to step on toes anyway, why not just step on one set of toes and open our own door. Easier for us that way.
Besides, half the time, no, probably more than half the time, when I open a door for a woman, she would just sweep pass me without even looking at me, all the while looking like she owned the place, and I the doorman. No thanks from the queen either.
Nothing pays, chivalry least of all.
Couple that with the next poll taken at the same radio station, this one on whether women like bad boys. Surprisingly, all the women who called in replied that they do. Not so surprising perhaps if my friend's case is any gauge: he never opened any door for any girl, and his girlfriend-who-back-then-wasn't-his girlfriend-yet, would stare incredulously at his back while I hold the door open for her. Yet we know, even at that time, that she was smitten with him.
Not being chivalrous adds to the charm I learnt. What are your views?
I don't think chivalry is dead; myself, I hold the doors for women all the time, strangers or not, offer a helping hand whenever I saw the fairer sex burdened, holding out an umbrella when it's raining, and pull chairs for them (though none, so far, sat in the proffered chairs). I don't do these for men; being more likely to slam the door in their faces than not. Just kidding. But less likely to hold doors for men overall.
But I think, chivalry should be dead.
At the very least, it should be if equality of the sexes is the priority. These days, women fight for equality at every turn, and grumble if the door wasn't held out for them. This is not saying that I'm against equality, nor saying there is equality already. Progress has been made, but equality in the workplace is perhaps not perfect yet.
But if you expect equality, don't expect chivalry. We have to start somewhere, why not start at the simple things like opening your own door, and holding your own bags? Why, the thing that runs through a woman's mind when men offer a helping hand might just be "You think I can't even open a door myself? Looking down on us again?" We'd never know what women think, and if we are going to step on toes anyway, why not just step on one set of toes and open our own door. Easier for us that way.
Besides, half the time, no, probably more than half the time, when I open a door for a woman, she would just sweep pass me without even looking at me, all the while looking like she owned the place, and I the doorman. No thanks from the queen either.
Nothing pays, chivalry least of all.
Couple that with the next poll taken at the same radio station, this one on whether women like bad boys. Surprisingly, all the women who called in replied that they do. Not so surprising perhaps if my friend's case is any gauge: he never opened any door for any girl, and his girlfriend-who-back-then-wasn't-his girlfriend-yet, would stare incredulously at his back while I hold the door open for her. Yet we know, even at that time, that she was smitten with him.
Not being chivalrous adds to the charm I learnt. What are your views?
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Before they found Neo
In his left hand, Morpheus shows a blue pill. Morpheus said: "You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. (a red pill is shown in his other hand) You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." Then he placed the pills on the table in front of him.
Neon looked at the pills, clearly undecided. "You are saying," Neon began, "that if I take the pill on the right, you will show me the truth of the Matrix..."
"Right", said Morpheus.
"...and I will wake up as though nothing happened if I take the left pill."
"Right."
"Now it's the right pill?" probed Neon.
"Wait, what? No, I mean it's correct. It's the left pill."
"So if I take the blue pill, I will know the truth of the matter?" Neon asked again.
"No no, if you take the blue pill, you will wake up tomorrow as though nothing happened. Oh wait, I see. Your right is my left, my left is your right."
Neon paused a while. "So I take the red pill on the left,"
"Right. I mean, correct." said Morpheus.
"...I will know the truth of the Matrix..."
"Right," said Morpheus again. Neon nods slowly.
"...but if I take the blue pill on the left..."
"No, the blue pill is on the right," interjected Morpheus.
"...I will wake up tomorrow as though nothing happened."
"Yes."
"Blue pill for truth..."
"No, red!"
"Okay, red pill for not waking up tomorrow?"
"No no! It's for waking up tomorrow as though nothing happened, not for not waking up."
"So the red pill is for waking up tomorrow?"
"Yes! Argh, I mean, No! Blue pill is for not waking up tomorrow!"
"So it's like a sleeping pill?"
"What?"
"The red pill is. Right?"
"No! No wait, left... right. Oh yes, you are correct, it's your right."
Neon sat up suddenly, a decisive light shining in his eyes. "Right, I want the right pill." And suiting his words, he reached for it.
"Wait. Stop." Morpheus began, his voice rising in his haste. "Are you sure you got it correct? Wait..... no... wait! Aww fu*k!"
Neon looked at the pills, clearly undecided. "You are saying," Neon began, "that if I take the pill on the right, you will show me the truth of the Matrix..."
"Right", said Morpheus.
"...and I will wake up as though nothing happened if I take the left pill."
"Right."
"Now it's the right pill?" probed Neon.
"Wait, what? No, I mean it's correct. It's the left pill."
"So if I take the blue pill, I will know the truth of the matter?" Neon asked again.
"No no, if you take the blue pill, you will wake up tomorrow as though nothing happened. Oh wait, I see. Your right is my left, my left is your right."
Neon paused a while. "So I take the red pill on the left,"
"Right. I mean, correct." said Morpheus.
"...I will know the truth of the Matrix..."
"Right," said Morpheus again. Neon nods slowly.
"...but if I take the blue pill on the left..."
"No, the blue pill is on the right," interjected Morpheus.
"...I will wake up tomorrow as though nothing happened."
"Yes."
"Blue pill for truth..."
"No, red!"
"Okay, red pill for not waking up tomorrow?"
"No no! It's for waking up tomorrow as though nothing happened, not for not waking up."
"So the red pill is for waking up tomorrow?"
"Yes! Argh, I mean, No! Blue pill is for not waking up tomorrow!"
"So it's like a sleeping pill?"
"What?"
"The red pill is. Right?"
"No! No wait, left... right. Oh yes, you are correct, it's your right."
Neon sat up suddenly, a decisive light shining in his eyes. "Right, I want the right pill." And suiting his words, he reached for it.
"Wait. Stop." Morpheus began, his voice rising in his haste. "Are you sure you got it correct? Wait..... no... wait! Aww fu*k!"
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Food
Suddenly have the craving for MeeHun Kuay at the Jurong West market, and for a Subway sandwich, tuckey slices with mustard sauce and olives. The latter, I know where to get, but the former, is probably beyond my reach. Just like the prawn noodles stall at BoonLay I have enjoyed when I was really young; both stalls are gone now, moved to goodness knows where.
I can almost imagine the thick and aromatic smell of the prawn noodles soup--almost imagine because that's all I remember of it; it's been so long that it is impossible for me to "almost smell" it, only "almost imagine" it. I can still almost taste the Meehun Kuay at the Jurong West market however, since it's just been a year since I had a bowl.
Which reminds me of a bowl of meepok I had many years back, at dunno where. It was really spicy, but it was so good that even the spiciness seems essential to the taste. I've only eaten it once, but the memory of it remained with me so far. I doubt I'll ever get to eat it again, since I have forgotten where it was located. Besides, the stall owner was an old man, and no one lasts forever.
Then there was the roti prata, with its incredibly strong curry, spicy yet not overpowering, and the crispy prata itself. I had that once only too, but the stall is still there i think. I don't remember where it is either, but I know I had it at a drive-around supper thingy with my friends--they will know where if I ask.
I wonder, though, if these food would be so special if they weren't so out of my reach now.
I can almost imagine the thick and aromatic smell of the prawn noodles soup--almost imagine because that's all I remember of it; it's been so long that it is impossible for me to "almost smell" it, only "almost imagine" it. I can still almost taste the Meehun Kuay at the Jurong West market however, since it's just been a year since I had a bowl.
Which reminds me of a bowl of meepok I had many years back, at dunno where. It was really spicy, but it was so good that even the spiciness seems essential to the taste. I've only eaten it once, but the memory of it remained with me so far. I doubt I'll ever get to eat it again, since I have forgotten where it was located. Besides, the stall owner was an old man, and no one lasts forever.
Then there was the roti prata, with its incredibly strong curry, spicy yet not overpowering, and the crispy prata itself. I had that once only too, but the stall is still there i think. I don't remember where it is either, but I know I had it at a drive-around supper thingy with my friends--they will know where if I ask.
I wonder, though, if these food would be so special if they weren't so out of my reach now.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
a prayer
"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen.
Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Amen."
-Mostly Harmless, Douglas Adams
Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Amen."
-Mostly Harmless, Douglas Adams
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Darkest day of my life.
08/07/2007 was my day of Commencement.
09/07/2007 was the day I went partially blind. Specifically, in my left eye.
it started on the day of commencement. Because I was wearing contacts, and it has been a long day, my eye started drying I guess. when I reached home to remove the contacts, my eyes were pretty tired and dreid already. and when I removed it, I accidentally ripped my cornea, I ddint know that at first of cos. I just started having blurry vision in my left eye. Played a bit of games before I went to bed.
In the middle of the night, my eye started to hurt. At first its just like something got into my eye. But around 3am, the pain was realy terrbile. by 5am, the pain was unbearable. I was rushed to NUH by my family.
along the way, the pain was so bad that seriously, death would have been a much better relief. Or just to have my eye dug out. I was having my eyes closed, but even if i opened my eyes, it still hurt the same. and it hurts worse whenever my eye moved. which happen all the time, responding to some physical stimuli, or sound. I couldnt open the right eye, for the eye-eye coordination will make the left eye move under the eyelids, and thats when I feel like dying.
At nuh, the doctor dripped some instant relief eye drops into my eyes, and I was thus relievd of the unbearable pain for sometime. my vision was still blurry, abd my left eye still felt swollen. I was given medicine, and told that it would recover in 48hrs time most probably. When I left the hospital, the pain resumed, the eyedrops effects wearing off. Oral painkillers did not work at all.
All the way till 10am, I was hurting like crazy, and the left eye constantly weeping, which added to the pain. I was given a small vial of instant pain relief, but it contained only like 5 drops, and each drop could only relieve the pain for 5mins before the tears wash it off and the pain resuming.
Now its better, after spending 1 whole day being blinded, and attempting to sleep with the pain. All sorts of information went through my mind when I was blind. Like how sleeping will land you in the REM sleep approx 1-4hrs after you fell asleep. REM which stands for rapid eye movemenet will virtually guarantee that any relief I can get from sleeping will be worsen, and disturbed by the REM cycle. I thought of the ethics class, which talked about pain so unbearable, that it is an assault to the dignity of human life to be allowed to be continued. I thought of things I cant recall now. I thought of people, most of them images from the previous day Commencement. I thought of what I would do if I went blind, what I should do. Of Braille. I thought of some people, I didnt think of some people.
One thing for sure, I wont be wearing contacts again for the rest of my life.
p.s. I was typing most of this post with my eyes closed. So pardon any mistakes. and the vanity of being able to do so.
09/07/2007 was the day I went partially blind. Specifically, in my left eye.
it started on the day of commencement. Because I was wearing contacts, and it has been a long day, my eye started drying I guess. when I reached home to remove the contacts, my eyes were pretty tired and dreid already. and when I removed it, I accidentally ripped my cornea, I ddint know that at first of cos. I just started having blurry vision in my left eye. Played a bit of games before I went to bed.
In the middle of the night, my eye started to hurt. At first its just like something got into my eye. But around 3am, the pain was realy terrbile. by 5am, the pain was unbearable. I was rushed to NUH by my family.
along the way, the pain was so bad that seriously, death would have been a much better relief. Or just to have my eye dug out. I was having my eyes closed, but even if i opened my eyes, it still hurt the same. and it hurts worse whenever my eye moved. which happen all the time, responding to some physical stimuli, or sound. I couldnt open the right eye, for the eye-eye coordination will make the left eye move under the eyelids, and thats when I feel like dying.
At nuh, the doctor dripped some instant relief eye drops into my eyes, and I was thus relievd of the unbearable pain for sometime. my vision was still blurry, abd my left eye still felt swollen. I was given medicine, and told that it would recover in 48hrs time most probably. When I left the hospital, the pain resumed, the eyedrops effects wearing off. Oral painkillers did not work at all.
All the way till 10am, I was hurting like crazy, and the left eye constantly weeping, which added to the pain. I was given a small vial of instant pain relief, but it contained only like 5 drops, and each drop could only relieve the pain for 5mins before the tears wash it off and the pain resuming.
Now its better, after spending 1 whole day being blinded, and attempting to sleep with the pain. All sorts of information went through my mind when I was blind. Like how sleeping will land you in the REM sleep approx 1-4hrs after you fell asleep. REM which stands for rapid eye movemenet will virtually guarantee that any relief I can get from sleeping will be worsen, and disturbed by the REM cycle. I thought of the ethics class, which talked about pain so unbearable, that it is an assault to the dignity of human life to be allowed to be continued. I thought of things I cant recall now. I thought of people, most of them images from the previous day Commencement. I thought of what I would do if I went blind, what I should do. Of Braille. I thought of some people, I didnt think of some people.
One thing for sure, I wont be wearing contacts again for the rest of my life.
p.s. I was typing most of this post with my eyes closed. So pardon any mistakes. and the vanity of being able to do so.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
A simple puzzle
Eight buttons are arranged in a single column. From the top they read
1. Statements on pressed buttons are false; statements on unpressed buttons are true.
2. Exactly one button adjacent to this one is pressed.
3. No two adjacent buttons are pressed.
4. The sum of pressed buttons is not prime.
5. More than half the buttons are pressed.
6. The order of button numbers is reversed (but not the statements).
7. Less than two odd buttons are pressed.
8. The number of pressed buttons is odd.
Which button numbers do you press?
The hell it is a simple puzzle. I still can't solve it as of now. Been trying for an hour and counting. Whoever can solve it, tell me. Guys I'll kill, girls I'll marry.
1. Statements on pressed buttons are false; statements on unpressed buttons are true.
2. Exactly one button adjacent to this one is pressed.
3. No two adjacent buttons are pressed.
4. The sum of pressed buttons is not prime.
5. More than half the buttons are pressed.
6. The order of button numbers is reversed (but not the statements).
7. Less than two odd buttons are pressed.
8. The number of pressed buttons is odd.
Which button numbers do you press?
The hell it is a simple puzzle. I still can't solve it as of now. Been trying for an hour and counting. Whoever can solve it, tell me. Guys I'll kill, girls I'll marry.
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