Stupor

We are in a stupor.

The greater part of the day is spent in a daze: we know not what we are doing. Looking back at the end of the day, we can only remember some of the more interesting bits. Looking inward to yourself, what exactly are you feeling now? Happiness? Or some sadness carried over from a previous episode? Or would most of us say, for most of the time, we dont really know what we are feeling at all?

That's why we are constantly searching for interesting bits of news, things to do, anything to wake us up from this stupor, if only momentarily.

That is also the reason why you are reading this at all: to see if there is anything interesting written here, something to pull your attention outwards forcefully, as though to remind yourself that you are alive.

And you cant help but admit, that you feel yourself intrigued by this idea that someone else could tell you about this mysterious and extremely interesting psychological fact about yourself which you yourself never suspected.

Maybe we should pause to reflect on this: are we really in a stupor? Are most of what we do and think, merely realization of the subconscious desire to pull us out of this void, this emptiness, this stupor?

Why could we be not, like the sky diver, having constantly experienced thrills, uncontroversially interesting events, yet still seek out even greater thrills, not for the need to release from this state of stupor, but for novelty and an even greater life? The maxim "Life could be better" need not be viewed in a depressing light, for it could mean that life can be an ever ascending roller coaster ride (and nevermind the sharp drop at the end).

But perhaps we should ask ourselves, the true arbiter of our feelings, even if we couldnt prove it: are our lives like that of the thrill seeker, or is it mostly nauseously filled with emptiness where we know not what to feel, to be sad or happy, or anything in between?

Then, as we ask that question, like a sudden chill that grips the heart, we cant help but being stunned at the same time by another "Why are we doing all these?"

And hurriedly, without admitting to ourselves that we had ever asked such a frivolous and inane question, pass over it, and bury the thought, along with its unborn answers, with important tasks like eating and doing homework. Just like how you will be forgetting about this post the minute you finished reading it, if you managed to.