'presence'

You know how you always wish that the sweating idiots on the bus or mrt don't press so close against you, how when you are walking on the tiny pathways, you wish the other passers-by don't walk so close in front or behind you, or worse, beside you? Well, you are secretly wishing you have more 'presence', the thing to have to automatically repel strangers (sometimes even friends, but thats just unfortunate). And here's the ultimate guide to having more of this mystical 'presence'.

1. Of course, one immediately obvious way to achieve the 'presence' overnight is to have body odor. Stop bathing for 3-4 days, and you will find your body 'presence' a powerful thing for others to contend with. People will be walking, and standing, clear of you. What's more, the effect is accumulative; the longer you stay away from the bath, the larger your "clearance area" is.

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2. Dress skimpily. Works wonder for women. The lesser you dress, the larger your clearance area will be, contrary to popular opinion. (The popular opinion is that lecherous men would try to cuddle up to you.) This is because in keeping these skimpily dressed women at more than arm's length away, it affords the men a greater and more "comprehensive" view, from head to top. You can't see much if you are right next to her, seriously. (Well, unless you are trying to peep down some particularly sinful boundaries.)

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For men, it works too, just not as well as it would work for women. The reasons it works are entirely different too. Particularly if its some tight-skin clothing, and butt hugging tiny jeans. Dose yourself with a cloying amount of cologne, perfume etc, and you will find yourself walking free of people, particularly men (who are really the ones we want to avoid in the first place).

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3. Intermingled with all the crap that clement usually produce (I dont mean literally), here is one which will actually work. Eye contact bespeaks a confidence that conveys your 'presence' in huge quantities. Be bold and look at everyone in the eye, holding your gaze until they look away, or walk away.

Danger with this method (only for pretty girls and skinny guys): If you are too pretty, your bold gaze might be misinterpreted as leading on (men are too dumb to tell the difference when it comes to pretty girls), and instead of scaring people away, you will be attracting loads of suitors. If you are too skinny, and you are a guy of course, a bold gaze might be seen as challenging, potentially turning your everyday commute into a bloody fight to work/school. (If you are not skinny, then your gaze would be assuredly interpreted as friendly.)

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4. Carry a chopper around with you. Preferably the huge, gleaming type. Swing it about casually from time to time, in large arcs with random strokes. For best results, use [sponsors click here to insert your brand name] brand of chopper.

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